The emotions of all this bankruptcy syuff

[jeb]

The program was drastically cut in 1996 not because od success stories like your sister but because of the entitlement crowd who decided to live on welfare. If everyone had used it as your ister the program would have survived as it was.

That's my point, Ohio.

The agency that was suppose to oversee and prevent abuse has been stripped of so many people that they don't stand a hope of doing so.

Here in FL, the people that are suppose to protect the children have over 1000 cases each - there is absolutely no way they can do the job. We then see the results on TV when another child is killed. - jb

[shabam]

Some interesting points here. Looking forward we now need what is referred to as social capitalism. Where our government promotes capitalism but has reasonable 'checks and balances' to ensure no one entity skews (works) the system to their favor. Under the status quo it usually ends up being the rich and large corporations, as they have the leverage and power to do so. As well as something some of us now learned (first hand) the legal might to get their way.

The majority of CEOs are only looking out for one thing, the bottom lone and their wealth. Devils advocate, unions bosses are doing the exact same thing. Where their ultimate goal is to profit for their members (shareholders). Six of one, half a dozen of the other really.

[jeb]

The majority of CEOs are only looking out for one thing, the bottom lone and their wealth. Devils advocate, unions bosses are doing the exact same thing. Where their ultimate goal is to profit for their members (shareholders). Six of one, half a dozen of the other really.

Having a union is suppose to be a check against the power of a company but they became so corrupt that they destroyed all their creditability. When someone working on the line at an auto company with virtually no education needed is making 2-3 times what a nurse or a Jr. airline pilot is making, something is wrong. - jb

[UhOh]

Emotions

Back to the topic of emotions. I liked the list of the several emotions but at my stage none of those "good" ones are there.

I am so nervous, anxiety is high, stress is almost unbearable. Well you know. So I decided to finally make the calls to a couple lawyers. Call one: Please hold. 10 minutes later I hung up. Was it nerves/embarrassment? I just felt holding each second longer was terrible. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to go down this road and the hold time was exaggerating all of those bad feelings. I calmed back down and tried another call. Call 2: This lawyer's office is closed from noon until 1pm. Arghhh.

So as aprehensive as I am, this is only making it harder. How do you get through these feelings? How do you get to move toward those better feelings like HOPE?

[yuckhatethis]

For me, the hope part came right after my first meeting with my attorney. It also helped when I "came clean" with some of my friends/family. I'm generally not one to keep secrets and the secrecy/hiding made me feel more ashamed. Once I talked with an attorney and got things out in the open with those close to me, most of the shame bit faded away.

Keep calling those attorneys, and if after meeting with him/her you don't feel better-call another attorney. Find one that makes you feel comfortable and confident-go with your gut!

Back to the topic of emotions. I liked the list of the several emotions but at my stage none of those "good" ones are there.

I am so nervous, anxiety is high, stress is almost unbearable. Well you know. So I decided to finally make the calls to a couple lawyers. Call one: Please hold. 10 minutes later I hung up. Was it nerves/embarrassment? I just felt holding each second longer was terrible. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to go down this road and the hold time was exaggerating all of those bad feelings. I calmed back down and tried another call. Call 2: This lawyer's office is closed from noon until 1pm. Arghhh.

So as aprehensive as I am, this is only making it harder. How do you get through these feelings? How do you get to move toward those better feelings like HOPE?

[jeb]

Unho, just keep spending time on this forum - so much good info but some great people that have been through what you are going through.

It will get easier - promise.

And remember, if it is something you can't do anything about, don't worry about it. Just go with the best solution for yourself. - jb

[UhOh]

I have three consult appointments made.

The first call to a lawyer went perfectly. She sounded understanding, took some basic info and said she looked forward to more information later. She explained the types of BK and how we look at everything to see what works for my case. She made no assumptions, she made no promises. I actually felt OK after talking to her.

Call two was more matter of fact and didn't ask me more than a question or two up front. We'll cover all of it in a meeting. That could be OK too. Though it did nothing for my fears and nerves.

Call three was not good at all. He basically said this is it, chapter 13 and I won't waste my time on chapter 7 thoughts for you because of your income. Not a good feeling at all. He made too many assumptions and set his mind immediately. I did not even schedule with him. He may be right but I don't need a bias to begin with.

Call four was like the first. He actually was easy to talk to and asked a lot of questions and though he thinks 13 might be it, he said he would look at details more closely and see if 7 is a possibility.

So I had a variety of emotions yesterday. I slept worse than ever but do look forward to my consultations.

[OhioFiler]

We have complete control over our emotions. Often, people assume their emotions control them. It's just not the case. It's a choice to feel anxious. It's a choice to feel excitement.

Each of us has the power to control how we feel during this process. If you need help, search for a good low-fee counselor.

[UhOh]

Actually I did that this week. (coincides with me no longer being a lurker here on the boards) I got an Rx and therapy. whew

[OhioFiler]

Actually I did that this week. (coincides with me no longer being a lurker here on the boards) I got an Rx and therapy. whew

You've made two very smart decisions lately. File bankruptcy and get your emotions and possible depression issues fixed. You should be proud!

[jeb]

Call three was not good at all. He basically said this is it, chapter 13 and I won't waste my time on chapter 7 thoughts for you because of your income. Not a good feeling at all. He made too many assumptions and set his mind immediately. I did not even schedule with him. He may be right but I don't need a bias to begin with.

Keep in mind that they charge a LOT more for a 13 than a 7. One would hope that it would not enter into the picture but we all know that isn't true. Sounds like 1 & 4 would be the pick to sit down with.

Good luck - jb

[UhOh]

I spent all evening sorting paperwork and preparing to file. It's an amazing quantity of statement and other documents.

I can't say I am eager to meet my first lawyer but I know it is time.

[jeb]

Go for it - it gets better every day as you take another step. - jb

[UhOh]

Met with four lawyers. One dismissed anything I said as if I have no clue about anything and didn't look at any details that i know make a difference. One was matter of fact style which was OK but not really for me. One was very personable and listened and ran numbers. It was a good one. The last meeting was perfect. He listened to me talk about what I learned from these boards. He told me where I interpreted things incorrectly. He then clinched a retainer by saying things like "sure they can do that but you have the right to..." and "I can get you to do..." and "don't worry about everything, we control what we control and don't worry about what we can't". I signed.

Now I won't say that a load has been lifted of my shoulders because I still feel all the emotions of the drastic decision I made. It becomes very real and I now know which way I am headed.

I felt compelled to tell my best friend last night too. I was planning on keeping it to myself until the moment I told her. She put on as good of a face as she could muster up but I know she was upset. She began figgiting with her napkin (a lot). It was uncomfortable and didn't help me deal with anything any better. oh well. Live and learn.

[Recessionist]

It started when I got laid off my job just now a month ago. Waiting for the unemployment award to come down was its own anxiety. Updating resume and getting out in the hunt again also hard - had been working only a year after being laid off for 6 months 2007-2008. Plus I had been putting off a surgery. When I sat down to look at my financial picture and went to talk to Consumer Credit Counselors it became clear that I really ought to File Chapter 7.

I have been in a near-constant state of panic, but this website has been a huge calming agent. I have talked with several lawyers already and have chosen one. Between this site and the lawyers, I feel strongly I will be OK in terms of the BK.

Anyone with a job to offer is welcome to PM. But Thank God the Unemployment Insurance will be enough to pay the rent and utilities, at least for the next 26+20+20 weeks.

Oh yeah - and in relation to "low-cost" counseling, I am actually receiving free pastoral counseling which has been better for me than any other counseling I have had before. (I know, this is hit-or-miss depending on what kind of church it is and what the pastor's qualifications are.)

My neighbor works for a home-infusion pharmacy and got me a 100 day supply of my most important meds for $6.12 total. Thank God.