The emotions of all this bankruptcy syuff

[gogetter76]

Hello,

I am new here and have some questions, thoughts and concerns........

What type of emotions have you all gone through?

For me it seemed like i finally hit a brick wall and knew i had to file for Chapter 7 through what i had researched and conversations through several lawyers.

Then it seems like i had a sense of relief in knowing i finally made a decision.

Now at times i am feeling anxious that i do everything correctly. Doing my consumer credit class and to get the certificate, making sure i list my assets properly, getting all bank statements, paystubs and creditor info. It seems at times when something is new to me i obssess about doing it properly. I just don't want any surprises down the road. If the attorney asks me for something i want to have an answer and provide the proper documentation. Feels like i have to gain his trust.

Then we will finally file and hope everything goes right.

Then the 341 meeting. This is where i will go moderatley dressed and answer only yes and no and not blab...blab...blab to much.

Then wait for the discharge without any objections.

You know going through something for the first time is stressful. It is AWESOME, there is a community to get information and to vent. For that i again would like to thank you all.

Anyone else wanna share their feelings and concerns and how things have worked out?

Thank you and as i go through this journey i will share my experiences.

[Kingxray]

Not to scare you but ours has been a nightmare. I did not discover this site until after we filed. I wish I would have done more research before we did file. We just left everything up to our lawyer. I too felt a sense of relief when we filed. It was a great feeling that did not last.

Our 341 went smoothly other than my dad's lawyer showing up. My dad is listed as one of our creditors in our BK. It was in a room with a bunch of other people going BK. Everyone, I mean everyone, including us were in jeans. Only a few lawyers were in suits. Ours wore a sweater and dockers (its cold up here).

I felt good after that then all the crap started because of that lawyer showed up at our 341. UST got involved, filed a persumption of abuse (707) and then motion to dismiss. Yada yada. I have had stomach aches, anxiety attacks and basically just freaking out. Now we have to move out of our house for a while becaus my dishwasher ruined my hardwood floors. I could just jump off a cliff.

But as my husband says, "no one is going to die, no one is going to jail" Hey worse case scenerio we convert to a 13. Life has to go on and I have been putting my life on hold since this all started in Oct. Now I am trying to think differently and am hoping we can "start over" soon. I don't have much fight left in me.

I do not mean to scare you and please don't be scared. I believe ours is an unusual case. Without this site we would have nobody to talk to about BK stuff. BK is not a topic that you talk about a Thanksgiving or birthday parties, so it is nice to have somewhere to vent where others will listen and not judge you. Good luck to you and it looks like you have done your research. That is the first step in making the process go smoothly. Just my thoughts.

[SubPrimeME]

Well I can tell you I don't talk about it much- other then here. One thing I have really noticed is that people who haven't been through this are VERY harsh on those that lost their homes. They feel that the entire economy is collapsing because I foreclosed on my home... I'm sorry, I wasn't the one who apprasied my home for waaaay more then it should have been- I didn't approve my second mortgage, the bank did. Was I supposed to know that my house was just about to fall off the equity cliff?

OOh I feel better, thanks for posting this thread!

[mamaluv]

I just found this site a few days ago on accident and thank god I did. It helped me come to the realization that BK is what I need to do. I had completely buried my head in the sand and just thought I could figure out a way to pay back the debt later. Up until I few days ago I didn't even know how much I owed on my cc's. I almost had a heart attack when I totalled it all up!! All I could think was how the heck did I let myself screw up this bad.

I was just making the minimum payments and just kept charging away, getting myself in even deeper. Buying things I did not need & should have never bought, trying to appear like I could afford the 'good life' when in reality I couldn't. I've stopped making payments on almost all of my CC's, I just don't have the money anymore. I am so glad I found this site as now I know what I need to do in the next few months to prepare, stop charging on my cards most importantly. I wouldn't have known any better and just kept charging stuff and ended up in a really bad position when it came time to file.

I found this site on Sunday and when I realized that BK is in the future I felt embarrassed of what people will think & disappointed in myself for letting it get to this point. I didn't sleep at all that night because I stressed myself out and all I could think about was all the what-ifs.

Over the past few days I've been reading & reading and I've realized that it is not the end of the world. This situation is 100% my own fault and this is where I am now. I can't go back and change what I did (I'm sure we all would if we could) I have plenty to be happy about-I'm alive and I have a 4 year old who is gonna love me regardless of whether I am poor or the richest person in the world. I'm looking forward to starting over and NEVER letting myself get into this situation again.

Thanks to everyone who contributes to this site!

[BrokeAzzez]

I felt the same way..I was ashamed and embarrased that I let myself get into financial trouble that I did. I will probably break down and cry and feel like a loser again when they come and take my car that I've surrendered. But it's for the best. I still go through days when I can't believe that I am doing this, but after finding this site I found that I'm not alone. While we all have our own unique situations, we are all here for the same reason.

[okiebk09]

Well none of us ever want to be in this position. Who would have ever imagined that you really have to plan for a bk. You cannot just file when you figure out you cannot pay anymore. The emotions through this are aweful. The unknown. The fact that there is no clearcut answer in any situation with this process. It is not black and white the whole process is gray. The stress at first with the phone calls is bad. I mean bad. How worse can it get that having citifinancial call you at work on Christmas Eve and basically tell you they are going to ruin your life if you do not pay them that minute. Then to actually file you have a sense of "normalcy" for awhile until the realization sets in that you may have missed something and your 341 meeting is around the corner. That is where I sit now. I am in panick mode until Tuesday the 24th at noon. After that I have no idea what the emotions will be. All I can say for those of you who have not filed is you better read and read and read some more and the triple check everything and make sure you have all your ducks in a row!!!!!

[Help!]

Let's see... the day I stumbled onto this forum I found myself having thoughts of suicide. Not really contemplating doing it, but thinking to myself that I've always wanted to try base jumping and I wonder what it would be like without a parachute?

Serious, serious depression to the point that I could barely drag myself out of bed to take care of my kids. I tried really hard not to cry in front of them, but when you're crying half of the time you're awake that's almost impossible.

I had my moments of extreme anger after my first 341 hearing because our lawyer had given us so (!) much bad advice. We were grilled by the UST attorney about every thing he told us was "nothing to worry about". We were nearly dismissed because of that bad advice.

I remember the feelings of shock, disbelief and pure joy when the UST didn't file a motion to dismiss/convert after the statement of presumed abuse. After that, the sleepless nights until discharge. Since then, things have calmed down and the only remaining emotion is paranoia waiting for our case to finally close. I haven't been to a Starbucks in months because in the back of mind I'm still thinking about how I would explain my $3 coffee to the UST.

It's a horrible roller coaster and worse than anything I've ever experienced (and I've been through a lot)!

[TEW]

Lets see deep depression couldn't keep food down for a while. I was affred to look at my checking account online. I was working 16 hours a day everyday. We were eating peanut butter and crackers. I was sitting at the kitchen table trying to figure out what I was going to do I was exhausted. when i found this forum at 3 am and started reading. We had to one lawyer that wasn't at all helpful. the second one was a trustee he didn't think I should file just my wife.
I think the hardest part was the 6 months of waiting after i found a good lawyer.
I think 341 meetings are a waste of time and money.

[OhioFiler]

Well I can tell you I don't talk about it much- other then here. One thing I have really noticed is that people who haven't been through this are VERY harsh on those that lost their homes. They feel that the entire economy is collapsing because I foreclosed on my home... I'm sorry, I wasn't the one who apprasied my home for waaaay more then it should have been- I didn't approve my second mortgage, the bank did. Was I supposed to know that my house was just about to fall off the equity cliff?

OOh I feel better, thanks for posting this thread!

Shame on anyone who is harsh on someone who loses their home. If these are acquaitances of yours I'd stop associating with them.

[taramaxed]

I literally felt sick to my stomach. I felt like I didn't know what to do. Bankruptcy had casually crossed my mind but it was a totally last resort. Like another poster I stumbled upon this site and have realized that so many good people have gone through or are going through the same thing. I realized its probobly not so bad and ever since we made the decision I am calmer and not on edge all the time. I feel like this is the light at the end of the tunnel. Before we felt like it would be 60 years before we would ever really have a life. Now we have hope for the future. Yeah it sucks that our credit score will be bad but you know what we'll have bad credit anyway if we don't file. Bankruptcy really is a fresh start.

[SubPrimeME]

Shame on anyone who is harsh on someone who loses their home. If these are acquaitances of yours I'd stop associating with them.

It's actually people at my work, they talk in general about it- they don't know what I am going through. They make their snide comments about how their taxes are going to go up etc. that foreclosures ruined the earth.... I want to smack them in the head!

[SubPrimeME]

I literally felt sick to my stomach. I felt like I didn't know what to do. Bankruptcy had casually crossed my mind but it was a totally last resort. Like another poster I stumbled upon this site and have realized that so many good people have gone through or are going through the same thing. I realized its probobly not so bad and ever since we made the decision I am calmer and not on edge all the time. I feel like this is the light at the end of the tunnel. Before we felt like it would be 60 years before we would ever really have a life. Now we have hope for the future. Yeah it sucks that our credit score will be bad but you know what we'll have bad credit anyway if we don't file. Bankruptcy really is a fresh start.

I agree I think the hardest part was acceptance. Once you are on the path, it's a much easier road, it gives you focus... purpose.

[OhioFiler]

It's actually people at my work, they talk in general about it- they don't know what I am going through. They make their snide comments about how their taxes are going to go up etc. that foreclosures ruined the earth.... I want to smack them in the head!

They're ignorant. Taxes aren't "going up" because you lost your home through foreclosure. They are referring to Barack O'bama's plan to halt foreclosures by paying banks to adjust mortgages. I think it's a horrible idea just as your associates think. However, I believe bankruptcy as a means of keeping your house is a great idea. As is walking away from a home where you're upside down significantly. That is an issue between the consumer and the lender and doesn't involve any of their taxes.

When I hear people speak political ignorance I laugh inside realizing at least I'm not one of "them".

Hold your head high. You are the smart one in the crowd.

[SubPrimeME]

They're ignorant. Taxes aren't "going up" because you lost your home through foreclosure. They are referring to Barack O'bama's plan to halt foreclosures by paying banks to adjust mortgages. I think it's a horrible idea just as your associates think. However, I believe bankruptcy as a means of keeping your house is a great idea. As is walking away from a home where you're upside down significantly. That is an issue between the consumer and the lender and doesn't involve any of their taxes.

When I hear people speak political ignorance I laugh inside realizing at least I'm not one of "them".

Hold your head high. You are the smart one in the crowd.

I know, it's like the movie the Matrix, I feel like I'm unplugged. Thank you for your kind words!

[broken64]

I to stumbled on this site in the midst of desparation and despare. OMG the stress, sleepless nights, mood swings, and might I add aging big time. I swear I aged 5 years going through all of this from the stress of it all. Thank God for this website, found it and I never have looked back. I have read numerous times of day every day since I have found it. There is always something new from someones experience to grab onto and learn about. We have filed on the 6th of Feb our 341 is on March 25th, I will be sooo glad when that is over with and then hopefully smooth no road bumps and we pray for a fresh start. I will continue to grab support from this forum and give support on this forum because it is the one thing that has helped me keep my santity and help me actually smile again.