Bad News, Now What? Dismiss? Convert to 13??

[pcn]

BP, I'm new here as well, and hope you dont stop posting based on a few bad apples. Seems strange, judgemental posts on this forum in particular... You'd think there'd be a little more humility here than in the general population.

[bruisedpeach]

Thanks to the last three posters thoughtful replies. :-) I agree that in a forum like this, none of us should cast the first stone. We've all made mistakes. Not for a second do I believe that a child doesn't need a father...nor do I think that "any father is better than no father." Wow. That statement is just scary.

But back on topic...thank you for the great advice. I'll not give up yet. I waver between wanting to fight and wanting to quit. It's so tiring.

BP

[filingin08]

My apologies... I lack the eloquence of Flamingo... I never meant to offend... I'm glad you've decided to stay.

[Flamingo]

Thanks to the last three posters thoughtful replies. :-) I agree that in a forum like this, none of us should cast the first stone. We've all made mistakes. Not for a second do I believe that a child doesn't need a father...nor do I think that "any father is better than no father." Wow. That statement is just scary.

But back on topic...thank you for the great advice. I'll not give up yet. I waver between wanting to fight and wanting to quit. It's so tiring.

BP

The only reason I posted as to the child support situation was to try to help you out financially as it can be an extra source of help for your daughter to take the burden off of you as you were posting how hard you had it. He could also be a source of other benefits to the child if he is working. We can truly understand your reasons but always remember there is that option if things don't turn around for you now or in the future. And as I stated at the end of my previous posting, many posters on here will give other posters options/advice but may not say it in the right way and it can come out offensive...I don't think the other posters meant any harm (some things could have been worded better) and were just trying to get the point across to you and many of us have dealt with "bad seeds" in our past who have done us wrong or we can't stand. Also many posters look to avenues where there could be income to help and child support is an income avenue. I have worked in the past with family law and domestic relations in a former position, and have seen many kids get the short end of the stick due to issues between the parents or one parent carrying all the burden as you are. I have seen pure hatred on the faces of former spouses in the office to sign papers who actually loved each other once but learned to use the kids as pawns to keep hurting each other.

You got great advice from some knowledgeable posters as to what to do. Hopefully you can get this thing turned around with your attorney.

[bruisedpeach]

Definitely know where you're coming from, Flamingo. Suffice it to say, not everything has been rough for us. We had one rough patch from 2001 to 2003. Most of my debt comes from that time. Everything else has gone quite well. :-) After accumulating the debt, though, well, everyone knows how hard it is to get out of it. My problem was paying the minimum on one particular loan wasn't making a dent in it. No matter how much I tried to negotiate with this particular creditor, they weren't willing to budge their interest rate of 19%. (I got the loan when I didn't have good credit...since then, I had very good credit and a better job. My payments were always on time, and they still wouldn't work with me so I could get it paid off.) Part of my decision to file was based on that one creditor. Wrong motive? Perhaps... but I'd had enough.

Anyway, we've never gone hungry...always had a roof over our heads. I haven't made my decision based on anger or bitterness. I was never married to my daughter's father and it was so long ago, that is all gone. He tried, in anger and not willingly, to 'be a father' but didn't want to pay child support with it. I have seen all around me how that turns out. (Plus the things he was involved with, and he had since remarried.) I told him he was free...that he didn't need to pretend to do the right thing based on coercion. He made that choice...twice.

Anyway, now I'm off-topic again. I appreciate the input and I know it's an option. However, we've never been homeless and never been without food, so it's not an option that I feel is best.

BP

[CatsInTrouble]

I'm astounded that strangers on a message board believe that they could even THINK to suggest what is best in a support/custody situation of a stranger thousands of miles away. That is the most hilarious and revealing thread I've ever read.

[bruisedpeach]

I'm astounded that strangers on a message board believe that they could even THINK to suggest what is best in a support/custody situation of a stranger thousands of miles away. That is the most hilarious and revealing thread I've ever read.

Yea, because even a drug addicted, abusive father is better than no father at all.

Peach

[Flamingo]

I'm astounded that strangers on a message board believe that they could even THINK to suggest what is best in a support/custody situation of a stranger thousands of miles away. That is the most hilarious and revealing thread I've ever read.

It's done on here as to personal finance issues (complete strangers post their income and all personal issues for advice and people suggest the best thing to do) and also on thousands of other forums on a daily basis for all sorts of personal matters. Just think of the phone conversations that take place on a daily basis between complete strangers as to support issues. Some folks see things in postings that others don't and try to help that person out or realize what's available in any way they can, especially financial-wise in this forum.