i really don't want to ask, but....

[Tbornetun]

Ok, here is the deal. BK is not a game, it is a legal process which you have a right to. But saying that, it is your job to be honest about EVERYTHING. Perjury is perjury, you lie you pay. When you file BK, this is your time to lay EVERYTHING on the table and see where it all ends up. You will be coming out ahead in the deal, even if the trustee goes after the $3000. If you have to repay it to your mom or if you are able to pay it to the trutee yourself, you are still having the rest of your debt forgiven. Depending upon how much debt you have $3000 is a small price to pay to make it all go away.

Sorry for being so bold, but I have run into waaayy to many clients who have tried to hide things. I find out for instance that they have a boat, motorcycle, another checking account, etc. and they are pissed when we have to list it on the paperwork, but that is the way it goes. Better to be up front about everything than to risk having it bite you in the ass later.

[kristyf]

well starting now we can't make payments on our credit cards. i don't think they'll go a year without taking action. plus i honestly can't handle the stress that long. i cry every day with this stupid debt and can't handle it.

[Tbornetun]

The trustee may just take it back

Not MAY, they most likely WILL.

[Tbornetun]

well starting now we can't make payments on our credit cards. i don't think they'll go a year without taking action. plus i honestly can't handle the stress that long. i cry every day with this stupid debt and can't handle it.

Stop paying your credit cards, save that money to retain an attorney, then forward all collection calls to the attorney. They may hold off. If you have just stopped paying them, you have plenty of time. You need to become more proactive about the situation.

[StartingOver08]

Kristyf, yes it is stressful now. But, one of the things about planning your BK is it gives you that feeling of being in control again. You know what the ultimate goal is and it makes going through this part, with the unpaid creditors, just a little easier to handle.

If you look at some of the threads there are some excellent ideas on how to handle the calls (voice mail) etc. Now that you have found this site, you can vent when you need to and you will find, not that it is easy, but that it is doable with a plan. You need to think about you and your family - better to do the BK planning for one year than to do a CH 13 for five years, IMO. Or worse yet, have your case dismissed and have all the creditors chasing after you again without the ability to BK the debt (in the case of fraud).

[kristyf]

you guys are right, of course - it's not the end of the world - just a large bump in the road i wasn't expecting.

so i can either plan well for a year, or file in march/april and plan with my mom. to be honest, i'll probably go that route.

and the problem with 'saving' is that there IS no money to save. my husband's income, mostly commission, has dropped drastically in the last couple months, and i don't see it going back up.

but i'm sure there's a way, somehow, someday.

[2Bshinyandnew]

okay, so i'm a detailist.

i was looking at the form, and it says to list payment to CREDITORS who are/were insiders. there's absolutely no paper that says i owe my mom money. would not listing her, since i do not consider her a creditor, be stupid?

Not listing her as a creditor may not "technically" be illegal, but you can bet the two payments you made to her are going to jump off your bank statement, horns blaring! How will you explain those payments? Is the $3000 worth jeopardizing your fresh start?

If I were a trustee and a petition came across my desk whereby the petitioner had just recently closed on a real estate sale, the first thing I would do would be to look closely at the petitioners bank statements for insider payments.

You already have a reason, the recent closing of your house within a couple months of filing (even if you intend on keeping it) to alert the trustee to look a bit more closely.

My instincts say that you should still be able to file in March if you absolutely must. Fill out your petition with scrupulous care and absolute honesty. The way you explained it so far, I don't see how where on the petition it should be disclosed, but I would bet my Florida Homestead Exemption it will come up, one way or another. If/when the $3000 to your mother comes up, be prepared to offer to pay to back to the trustee yourself.

[kristyf]

and we are way below the median, so chapter 13 is not on the horizon. unless there's another way they could make us do 13?

i do not want to risk dismissal, so full disclosure it is.

[Tbornetun]

Good choice, you will be fine.

[keepmine]

Well, creditors can't eat you. It's only stressful if you allow it to bother you. VM, caller Id-once in awhile answer and just say you can't pay. String this out as long as you can.
I'd not file unless, I got sued.
Money is the name of the game. If you 2 are having trouble making ends meet now then bk won't help an awful lot. Is it possible for your husband to pickup some parttime work or a weekend job? Frankly, my focus would be on increasing income and not worrying about debt that well eventually go away.

[kristyf]

i wonder if this thread can be deleted to protect my privacy? :/

my mom DID buy appliances when we moved in - can i say it was in payment for such? or does that not matter, since i'm still paying her.

[banca rotta]

this is so depressing.

there's no way i can wait a year before filing.

this is not going to be a fun conversation with my mother. i didn't even want to tell her for a long time.

i finally had *hope* after making the decision to file. ARGH.

How come you can't wait? It's the best thing for you and your mother. Please don't file soon just because of the phone calls. They are all idiots asking the Govt for loans because they can't pay their bills either. No shame in your situation.

Just live with the calls, research bankruptcy, make sure your expenses and exemptions are in place and file this time next year. They probably won't sue you before then.

I just can't see your mother giving her money to the trustee.

You already did the smart thing by coming here and asking the question before jumping into the bk system.

[Tbornetun]

That really wouldn't matter, it would still be you paying her a debt.

As for your privacy, no one knows who you are, where your from etc. Also, your name is a VERY common name. You could be my neighbor and I wouldn't know.

[kristyf]

[deadmonetree]

okay i think kristyf and i are having the same issues...mom did the same thing only i paid back with balance transfers yours was 3000 mine was 12000 I do not understand how anyone can wait a year!! we are wondering how we pay for the next 3 months let alone for a year! and do you just get phone calls for a year? dont they look back on a year from you filed or a year from when you contacted a lawyer i am worried that they will just through the whole thing out! I dont even know if i could say i will pay the 12000 and dismiss everything else. but seeing how the 12000 is with providianwho is now chase they probably are going to charge me 12000 at 32% interest and that is right back in the same boat!!