Filing next month...scared

[scared2009]

Hi everyone! I am so glad I found this place. We have decided to file Ch. 7 because we just can't keep struggling anymore. I have about $50,000 in cc debt. On top of a mortgage (that we owe more than the house i worth) and a car payment. We talked to a bk lawyer and he discovered that I can file alone, because my husband is not a joint account holder on any of the ccs. (he is an authorized user).

I am scared. Up until now, I have had perfect credit. Always paid on time, and sent more than the minimum. I have always been obsessive about my credit score. Now, I have black marks on it, and it is killing me. We are behind in our mortgage, and I haven't paid two cc in two months. It's killing me! The mortgage will be current when we file (it has to be). I lay awake at night worried about my future after bk. How bad IS IT to have a bk on your credit report? After the 10 years, does it just go away? Will I be haunted by this forever? I know it is something we have to do. We can't keep struggling like this, and the cc companies are less than helpful, so screw them.

Please tell me this is not the end of the world. I am 41 years old, and I know I can pick myself up and brush myself off, but how dirty will I be? Will it be hard to brush myself off?

[Flamingo]

Welcome aboard! Believe me, I know EXACTLY how you are feeling....you worked hard all those years to keep great credit and then something happens that you just can't do it anymore yet you still want to. However, you cannot focus on the past anymore you need to focus on what is happening "right now." Yes filing BK will mess up your credit for a while but it is not the end of the world. If you have to file BK, you have to file BK; you do what is best for you and your family. Over the coming years you can work again to get back your good credit standing. It will take a while but you will get it back if you are diligent in how your finances are handled during those years and make any necessary lifestyle adjustments so you don't find yourself back in the same place several years from now.

Educate yourself during the interim. On this forum are many "stickys" which contain lots of information to answer a lot of your questions. There are many great folks on this forum to help you out.

It's hard to accept the reality of filing and extremely emotional and stressful because everything seems out of control. A lot of people are finding themselves in your situation due to this economy, the many job losses and huge drops in income or hourly job cuts where you just cannot pay your bills anymore. It happened to us during the Tech Bust of early 2001.

[AngelinaCatHub]

[broken64]

Hi Scared2009,
First of all, take a deep breath and exhale:-) I know exactly how you feel, I am new to all this also. We met with our lawyer on the 3rd of Jan and we are waiting on word from him that he has filed for us. It can be overwhelming for sure, but I can garantee you that this forum is the best. All of the experiences found in one place, great support system always. No question is a dumb one and you will get answers. I am here 3+ times a day reading educating myself and it is a huge help. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone, and to hang in there.

[heyu]

Hi everyone! I am so glad I found this place. We have decided to file Ch. 7 because we just can't keep struggling anymore. I have about $50,000 in cc debt. On top of a mortgage (that we owe more than the house i worth) and a car payment. We talked to a bk lawyer and he discovered that I can file alone, because my husband is not a joint account holder on any of the ccs. (he is an authorized user).

I am scared. Up until now, I have had perfect credit. Always paid on time, and sent more than the minimum. I have always been obsessive about my credit score. Now, I have black marks on it, and it is killing me. We are behind in our mortgage, and I haven't paid two cc in two months. It's killing me! The mortgage will be current when we file (it has to be). I lay awake at night worried about my future after bk. How bad IS IT to have a bk on your credit report? After the 10 years, does it just go away? Will I be haunted by this forever? I know it is something we have to do. We can't keep struggling like this, and the cc companies are less than helpful, so screw them.

Please tell me this is not the end of the world. I am 41 years old, and I know I can pick myself up and brush myself off, but how dirty will I be? Will it be hard to brush myself off?

The end of 07 going into the beginning of 08 saw me with a credit score of about 750, today my score is 575, I did a chapter 7, I had about $140,000.00 in unsecured debt and about $300,000.00in secured debt, that being my mortgages. everything is gone, my credit, my mortgage and my unsecured debt, all gone, I am 58 yo young, the more I read and see what is happening around me, the more I wish that I I could have see the future, but not being clairvoyant I will have to do the next best thing and that is to work to build my new future and just deal in cash without having to worry about credit, the credit game is built to make you pay if you do not then you have nothing to worry about, you will pass through BK and be cleared and it will be a great relief as you will not have the weight of the world on you anymore. just do not fall back in the same trap, a lot of people do, don't make that happen to you. all the best.

[katie]

Just wanted to say welcome too and give you all the encouragement in the world. We saw our attorney about two weeks ago and haven't filed yet, but are working on it. Our problem was my husband was self-employed in construction. Well, you can guess how that turned out. We racked up $80,000 in cc debt and will be surrendering our motor home.

But you know, my health is just not worth all of this stress. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, cried ALOT, just couldn't deal with this. We had credit scores around 800+ too not that long ago. During this same time our daughter was diagnosed with a mild cerebral palsey. I had had enough. Just meeting with our attorney took a HUGE load off. (I can sleep at night now)

I just have to keep my head up and not worry what others will say or think. The stigma of bankruptcy has got to change. Alot of really good, honest, decent people have no choice right now. I know in our area there are doctors, CPA's, a lawyer or two, bankers, real estate agents, etc, etc.

I just choose to look at how fortunate we are - my job is in a secure field, and my salary will at least pay for the house and utilities and other basic needs. DH found a new job (although making 25% of what he is used too).

Things will get better (it has too right!). Good luck!

[newimges]

Hi and welcome!

I felt exactly the same way you did. I never made a late payment on anything up until 3 months before filing bankruptcy and had a credit score in the 800s. My hubby lost his job due to cutbacks and everything started going down hill.

It's been a year now since our discharge and we both have new credit cards (with smaller limits) and are working at restoring our credit. Our credit scores are now around 640 and climbing. While it wasn't an easy decision to file - I am glad we did as there was no other way out for us. We have learned to live off of cash and not rely on credit cards and for the first time in a long time - we are saving money. Yes, we did have to change our lifestyle but in the long run it was the best decision for us. Yes, in 10 years the bankruptcy will come off your credit report.

Good Luck and know that there are a lot of people out there who have been in your shoes and survived!

[freshstartfl]

I echo the thoughts of the other posters, that it's not the end of the world and that you need to do whatever is necessary to preserve your mental and emotional well-being. The stress you are under now isn't healthy. I do want to say one other thing, tho -- be careful assuming that as an authorized user, your hubby can't be held responsible for some of the debt. I've read on here that certain companies, such as Amex, WILL hold the authorized user liable for the debt. The acct #s are different on each user's card, and there's some fine print in the paperwork somewhere that states that they reserve the right to do this.

[scared2009]

I echo the thoughts of the other posters, that it's not the end of the world and that you need to do whatever is necessary to preserve your mental and emotional well-being. The stress you are under now isn't healthy. I do want to say one other thing, tho -- be careful assuming that as an authorized user, your hubby can't be held responsible for some of the debt. I've read on here that certain companies, such as Amex, WILL hold the authorized user liable for the debt. The acct #s are different on each user's card, and there's some fine print in the paperwork somewhere that states that they reserve the right to do this.

Thanks for the heads up. I am a bit nervous about the whole "authorized user" thing, but our lawyer said not to worry. I was the one who filled out all the applications for the cards, and just named my husband as a user. Half the cards he was never even aware he had a card in his name. He doesn't use credit cards. I mean, he will as a last resort for say, a car repair, but regular spending...no way.

Also, I want to thank everyone who has responded. I feel much better reading this board.

[debter08]

We are in a similar situation but we don't have a house. We are over 55K in debt. We always pay on time too. Don't feel bad about yourself. I felt really bad too but now I start to fantasize about how it will feel to be debt free and my poor hubby who works 80 hours a week will at least be rewarded with his paycheck every week instead of it all going to creditors. Good luck!