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    #1

    So Nervous!

    I went to my first attorney appt. today. He said to stop paying the creditors that I am filing on. I knew he would say that just from what I have read here.
    I am going to do it, but it really bothers me. I know I am in over my head and it is the logical thing to do as I have to come with the money to pay my attorney, get an appraisal on my home, file BK, etc.

    Has anyone else on here had a hard time letting go of the need to pay and on time? Even borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, if need be. I am so used to the rat race. I know many of you may think I am being stupid, but this process right now is hard for me.

    D....
    Tags: None
    #2
    Originally posted by DaisysMom View Post
    I went to my first attorney appt. today. He said to stop paying the creditors that I am filing on. I knew he would say that just from what I have read here.
    I am going to do it, but it really bothers me. I know I am in over my head and it is the logical thing to do as I have to come with the money to pay my attorney, get an appraisal on my home, file BK, etc.

    Has anyone else on here had a hard time letting go of the need to pay and on time? Even borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, if need be. I am so used to the rat race. I know many of you may think I am being stupid, but this process right now is hard for me.

    D....
    Speaking for DH & I we had an extremely hard time stopping the payments, it was a really momentous time for us as we had NEVER missed a payment and were never late until he lost his OT. Our credit scores in Sept were in the mid 700s. But the first time I knew we were going to miss a payment I freaked out and cried all day. It is something you're going to have just develop a thick skin about now that you've realized you are in over your head.

    The phone calls are going to start once you stop paying so you need to be ready for that as well and know ahead of time what you're going to say and handle them. I wish you the best of luck!
    11/18/08 filed CH 7; 341: 12/11/09, cont'd to 01/06/09
    03/21/09 341 hearing for CH 13
    04/27/09 Confirmation hearing for CH 13
    $199/mth for 60 months + $9K 2008 income tax refund

    Comment

      #3
      Sure, knowing you agree to the financial obligation makes you feel guilty about stiffing your creditors, but BK is a business decision. Your business is to take care of yourself and your family. You and them come first. Saying this to you may not make you sleep better at night, but hopefully, gives you something to think about.
      Bankruptcy History:
      Chapter 7 filed - 10/12/2005 - Asset
      Discharged - 02/16/2006
      Case Closed - 11/08/2007

      A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain ~ Mark Twain

      All suggestions are based on personal experience and research and SHOULD NOT be construed as legal advice as I am NOT an attorney. Always consult with competent counsel in your area with regards to your particular situation.

      Comment

        #4
        Yes it's hard for many of us.
        We had excellent credit. Then I lost my job 2 years ago to disability. We we OK but then my wife lost hers so we have just retirement now.
        Without that extra income we could not pay some bills we had.
        We had planned on selling our home but couldn't in this market.
        Not paying the bills helped fund the attorney and is common to do.
        Why do you need an appraisel on your home? Are you going to try and keep it?

        Comment

          #5
          Hi I am new also

          My husband and I seen our attorney for the first time on the 3rd. I had phone consults with him three weeks previous and he instructed us to stop payments also. I asked are you sure, he chuckled and said yes. Very nerve racking but I have been on this ride for over a year. Negotiating payments, cc companies lying to get a payment, they didn't care that we had to borrow to get payments together, pay numerous bank fees because our bank covers us whenever we overdraw, with a $30 charge but nonetheless. I kept so much from my husband and we almost split over this. We got through it and now we are working as a team on this whole mess. I found this forum, started reading and actually we made our final decision to file bk from it. As I said I am new to all this and I am a nervous wreck, but the feeling bad about not paying is gone. The phone calls are a pain but we have caller ID so we pick up hang up to deal with it. We do not have a case number as ours is one of the sticky ones with business, etc., should be any day now. Anyway, I will continue to read, because there is a boat load of information on here which I am truly thankful for.

          Comment

            #6
            We also had a hard time. But it is so nice not having to worry about what bill you are going to pay with this check and what not. So much stress will be off of your shoulders. Save your money!

            Comment

              #7
              It was one of the hardest things we've done to stop paying our bills. We still struggle sometimes with the guilt, but once the decision is made, it's best not to second guess yourself. It's not like you're doing it lightly and without reason.
              BKForum Blog: The Journey

              sigpic

              Comment

                #8
                Originally posted by Trixie007 View Post
                It was one of the hardest things we've done to stop paying our bills. We still struggle sometimes with the guilt, but once the decision is made, it's best not to second guess yourself. It's not like you're doing it lightly and without reason.
                It was also very hard for me. What I am more shocked by is not having all this extra money I thought I would have once I stopped. I realized that it's because I am not using credit to supplement my lack of cash. I would spend our checks to pay all bills on time. I would have no money left so I would be forced into a cycle of using credit to buy groceries and gas and clothing, etc. So everytime I made a $200 payment on that credit card and the available credit was a little higher, I used it to supplement my income. This is a vicious cycle that only keeps you in debt and paying those credit card fees forever. I look on the brightside, when I am ready to file and have to pay for 5 years. At least I won't be relying on credit and will be debt free other than my house in 5 years. I could never do that just paying the minimums on my credit card. I don't qualify for chapter 7 but sure wish I did!
                "Don't let your wants overload your a**"
                (author unknown)

                Comment

                  #9
                  Originally posted by kenshirley View Post
                  Why do you need an appraisel on your home? Are you going to try and keep it?
                  I am keeping my home because I only owe 25K on it and my mortgage is only $221 a month. I could never rent for that and I love it here. The exemption in my state is a little more than 20K. So my attorney wants me to get the house appraised to be sure that we can do a Chapter 7. He says if it is much over 50K that I may have to go with Chapter 13.

                  So I need another $250 for the appraisal on top of the lawyer fees in order to file. So there is no way I could even try to pay a little on my debt. Plus, living in the northern midwest....it is 3 degrees right now and my furnace just keeps on running....I am gonna have a 3to4 hundred dollar gas bill this month.

                  So paying on the debt is not an option....it just makes me sad to be here though. But I am sure I will be OK and bounce back.

                  Thank you everyone for the encouraging replies!!

                  D...
                  Last edited by DaisysMom; 01-15-2009, 07:57 PM.

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