Can I vent?

[TEW]

Ok - I just have to know something. I keep seeing people type DH and DW. Can someone please tell me what that means? All I can think of is damn husband and damn wife. That just can't be it.

you know what they say if the shoe fits

[Overmylimit]

lol....

[relief13035]

LOL - I am fairly new to the forum and trying to learn the lingo. I have a DXH too (and believe me the shoe DOES fit), but am very fortunate for the last 5 yrs to have a DH.

[BK2008]

LOL...

Yeah, he's probably calling me DXW and much worse

[gymbo]

Haha ... I was on here for months before I finally asked about DH and DW... I thought it meant divorced husband and divorced wife. haha

[Intoodeep80]

I thought DH was "dear husband" .. but damn husband does sound much more fun

[GreenInkOnPaper]

Hey, thanks everyone for the encouragement!
Obviously, bigger issues are at work when a 38 year old man still lets his parents ride rough-shod. He's an only child, and seriously- he never spent a minute alone until he graduated from college and bought a house. They ran his first wife off, and they're close to running me off, too. So, somethings are very difficult - if not impossible - to change. I love the guy with all my heart, but like everyone, I do need SOME privacy. I wrote a letter, had it notorized, and gave a copy each to my mother and my dear friend. It basically reads, " If I should die while I'm married to Mr.X - please investigate his mother."
I'm really sorry that some of you have had to deal with family and so-called friends that get in your chili because of your finances. The way I look at it, life's what happens while you're making other plans. I think that's attributible to John Lennon. People are more to me than what they have - or don't have - in the bank, on credit cards, what kind of car they drive, how big their house is. That's just material crap that doesn't care when you are sick, heartbroken, or lonely. I feel like the people who get together here are sometimes better friends than I have in "real" life. I'm sure a lot of you feel the same. Although our posts may be met with "tough" love at times, usually the underlying message is a helpful one. So, thanks again to everyone who chimed in.

Green Ink

[TEW]

Hey, thanks everyone for the encouragement!
Obviously, bigger issues are at work when a 38 year old man still lets his parents ride rough-shod. He's an only child, and seriously- he never spent a minute alone until he graduated from college and bought a house. They ran his first wife off, and they're close to running me off, too. So, somethings are very difficult - if not impossible - to change. I love the guy with all my heart, but like everyone, I do need SOME privacy. I wrote a letter, had it notorized, and gave a copy each to my mother and my dear friend. It basically reads, " If I should die while I'm married to Mr.X - please investigate his mother."
I'm really sorry that some of you have had to deal with family and so-called friends that get in your chili because of your finances. The way I look at it, life's what happens while you're making other plans. I think that's attributible to John Lennon. People are more to me than what they have - or don't have - in the bank, on credit cards, what kind of car they drive, how big their house is. That's just material crap that doesn't care when you are sick, heartbroken, or lonely. I feel like the people who get together here are sometimes better friends than I have in "real" life. I'm sure a lot of you feel the same. Although our posts may be met with "tough" love at times, usually the underlying message is a helpful one. So, thanks again to everyone who chimed in.

Green Ink

Hey green wow you said it all there. I am taking a break from moving boxes from the basement I finished in a house I no longer want. When I first told DW we could no longer afford to keep the house she was very upset. But then I told her it's only sticks and nails. What we have is what the important thing. At the end of the day I think what is important is how we conducted ourselves during our stay on this earth not what we own.

[jessegirl]

Green and TEW - you are both right. I have a DAMN MIL, LOL which believe me i am being very very kind by sayng damn. She is the most medalling MIL i have ever seen. SHe asks us constantly, how much money my hubby makes, how much for this and that. Its to a point where i feel like saying, why are you asking? do you plan on writing us a check for all of this? My in-laws absolutely suck!!! I would never tell them about this, otherwise, we would here it forever. Everytime, we would buy something she would say, Can you afford it? Ohh, just the thought of her knowing. Oh well, this was a good thrapy session. LOL

Green - when we first got married i tought of leaving my hubby to cause of his mother, but i pulled away from her and our marriage is great. I cannot believe that he is even part of her. They are nothing alike. So just tune of the in-laws and stay focused on what really matters in your life.

[GreenInkOnPaper]

Update:

I went off and left my laptop open to this very page, and guess who sits his butt at my desk and reads it? Like I say, NO PRIVACY!
Anyway, he's upset that I had my letter notorized. Says that it was a waste of time...I said that obviously I hope that's true.
So, just to bolster my point, he goes WITH HIS DAD, not his wife, and meets another attorney. Guess what? His dad gives the guy $500, and retains him. Never mind that the guy gives DH what I feel is misinformation. What do I know? I asked DH how he was going to account for his dad paying the attorney...No clue. Oh well. I tried to help.
So, I told DH that I will prolly go ahead and file for divorce. I'll just be a girlfriend. Obviously, he doesn't need a wife.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Hey green wow you said it all there. I am taking a break from moving boxes from the basement I finished in a house I no longer want. When I first told DW we could no longer afford to keep the house she was very upset. But then I told her it's only sticks and nails. What we have is what the important thing. At the end of the day I think what is important is how we conducted ourselves during our stay on this earth not what we own.

Very good and also accurate TEW. Best post I have seen you make and very inspirational. 'Hub

[AngelinaCatHub]

Hey, thanks everyone for the encouragement!
Obviously, bigger issues are at work when a 38 year old man still lets his parents ride rough-shod. He's an only child, and seriously- he never spent a minute alone until he graduated from college and bought a house. When Mrs. C called from work and stated this, I said "he has not grown up". They ran his first wife off, and they're close to running me off, too. My Father was also an only child and my Mother was seen as adversary to them. I am familiar with what you say. So, somethings are very difficult - if not impossible - to change. I love the guy with all my heart, but like everyone, I do need SOME privacy. I wrote a letter, had it notorized, and gave a copy each to my mother and my dear friend. It basically reads, " If I should die while I'm married to Mr.X - please investigate his mother." If you did this, you have far stronger feelings than you are voicing here.I'm really sorry that some of you have had to deal with family and so-called friends that get in your chili because of your finances. The way I look at it, life's what happens while you're making other plans. I think that's attributible to John Lennon. People are more to me than what they have - or don't have - in the bank, on credit cards, what kind of car they drive, how big their house is. That's just material crap that doesn't care when you are sick, heartbroken, or lonely. I feel like the people who get together here are sometimes better friends than I have in "real" life. You have stated real WISDOM. It is true. I'm sure a lot of you feel the same. Have in the past with X. Although our posts may be met with "tough" love at times, usually the underlying message is a helpful one. So, thanks again to everyone who chimed in. This is what we are here for. We love you without knowlege or pre conceved motive, under any circumstances. We are here for you and also ourselves.
Green Ink

Ms. 'Paper, my Father and Mother were in your diagnosis of your problem. My Father was a Sociopath. Google this please and there are ten signs or more. Does DH fit anymore than two? If so, he sees only himself as a Sociopath is a very selfish person.

A true loving DH or DW loves the other without fault and unconditionally up to a point. I would die for my DW, and she for me.

Mrs. and I shall pray hard for you. I do think you have it well in hand.

Put a passworded screen saver on your computer. If it is your computer, it is private. 'Hub

[TEW]

Ms. 'Paper, my Father and Mother were in your diagnosis of your problem. My Father was a Sociopath. Google this please and there are ten signs or more. Does DH fit anymore than two? If so, he sees only himself as a Sociopath is a very selfish person.

A true loving DH or DW loves the other without fault and unconditionally up to a point. I would die for my DW, and she for me.

Mrs. and I shall pray hard for you. I do think you have it well in hand.

Put a passworded screen saver on your computer. If it is your computer, it is private. 'Hub

Mine too hub look at arrested development also living with someone stuck in terable 2s for life

[gymbo]

Omg!

That did NOT really happen!!! He really went to an atty. with his Dad and retained him without your input???
That is CRAZY!

And am I understanding correctly that he is upset you had your letter notarized and not upset that you think she may have a hand in your death someday???? That's more CRAZY!

I say, get through the BK, move far away from the rents, and see if you relationship is worth saving.

I have an evil MIL who tried early on to meddle in our lives but I told my H (sorry I can't add the D right now, just can't) that when she challenged me he had to side with me whether he wanted to or not... or we were done.
It did the trick. She backed off.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this added stress.

[Stilltheone]

DH is filing 7, we're in the final planning stage. Everything's going well, found whom I think is a good attorney, etc.

One problem.

In-laws.

His parents are making me NUTS~ asking way too personal questions, assigning blame, acting like they know EVERYTHING about BK, and they know NOTHING. DH decided to let the bank come get his non-running Focus, and his dad freaks. "NoNoNoNo!" he says. "They'll sue you!!!" he says. "I'll make the payments" he says. Yeah, lets blow $425 a month on a payment and insurance on a car that is being surrendered. But he won't listen to a word. Not even an attorney! ARG! He is driving me nuts!!! The BK is all he wants to talk about. It has caused tension and hard feelings between my Hubb and me. Just really sucks.

Ahhh. Thanks!

HA, at least you didn't include your inlaws in your bankruptcy, like I did to mine.

My inlaws made us sign a contract about 3 months prior to filing. Included with the contract was a 4 page letter about how nasty we were.

Upon filing bankruptcy, I called my MIL and told her how we had filed. She didn't "get it", until after our court date. She called, "fishing" for info....half expecting for us to say that we'd pay her back.

It's been almost a year since we received our "letter", describing what pieces of dirt we are...and it's been a quite year without them.

Vent away girl!