Can I vent?

[scubaman]

This thread had made my day. I have been so screwed up over this mess I feel like a piece of dog crap. But I came up with this affirmation, " I might have failed, but I'm not a failure" yeah it works for awhile and I just say hell with it. I have shared with way to many people so now they either tip toe around me or give me that look like I have a tumor on my face. I have decided not to do anything in a social gathering right now other than movies etc because I can not act HAPPY right now and I'm not a good phony.
I don't have a poker face and my face tells it all. I hate that part of who I am I cant hide out even in my own head. One my family are so supportive and healthy in supporting me - they show me the love and I am very grateful for that, including my closest friends and Mate are my life preserver.
THANKS FOR LISTENING

[TEW]

I love this thread
DW told her 23 Niece that we were filing the next thing I know I am being attacked by the know it all little BXXXX she has absolutely no clue what she is talking about. She sent me a 6 page email about how I should see a finical adverse and they can fix it all. After about 7 emails I finally talked to her father as it turns out she quite her job her husband of 1 years got fire and they have not made their mortgage payment is 3 months. Then he told me that also ran up over 60K in CC debt. This is all in 1 year.. She has a master’s degree in philology but just got a job in a nursing home for 8.25 an hour. Now I know I made some mistakes and I have also had some disasters that happened one right after the other. Both cars carping out at the same time
I told DW that her niece is OFF out Christmas list

[Never_Again]

Feel free to vent!

You already know this, I am sure, but it seems that you might want to seek a counselor for the marital issues.

Also, if your FIL went to the bank and pulled YOUR credit without YOUR permission, he is a criminal (that act is illegal). So he certainly can't take the moral high road here!

I hope that you can change the living, as well as even the employment situation. I think that you two need it!

A bit of shame with this is probably a good sign. Do not let it consume you! This could be a great thing for you and your husband, and your relationship, if you let it drive the two of you closer. If he will not leave his mommy and daddy, then you may have some more decisions to make.

[debtmonster]

yes you can vent, kick, scream, pull your hair out, bite, yell, b*tch, break something and whatnot...no one said this was going to be easy or not stressed out for everyone involved.

Eventually a calm, cool & collected effect does happen

I remember when I vented on here, I was "judged" by several people on here. Not good.

[debtmonster]

I told our neighbor we were doing a foreclosure because she kept asking when we were putting the house on the market.... And she was going to find out anyway.. being a neighbor... now she doesn't speak with me.
So sometimes best not to tell anyone... not even family. We aren't telling family.

Yep! I'm afraid of the same thing. Once you foreclose, you've just instantly killed the resale value of all of the surrounding homes. In a way, it's totally unfair to the people. I'd be pissed off, too, if I were to keep my home and people were foreclosing around me.

On the bright side, hey... you're helping that lady get lower property tax! So needs to shut up.

I'm going to try avoiding to tell my neighbors that we are foreclosing. I want to stay in the house as long as possible so I can raise money for a new car and to save up the THOUSANDS of dollars I will need to rent. I know we'll need a good $3,000 for moving expenses and then at least $3,000 to $5,000 down for to rent a private home from somebody.

[paintinrosesred]

This neighbor was a friend... not telling the neighborhood.

My DH likes to say "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" whenever I'm down... and he reminds me that many people we know are just a paycheck away from BK so they shouldn't judge.

So I wish you the best with you in-laws.. I know how hard that must be. I would ask your DH to speak to your FIL about backing off.

[BK2008]

This neighbor was a friend... not telling the neighborhood.

My DH likes to say "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" whenever I'm down... and he reminds me that many people we know are just a paycheck away from BK so they shouldn't judge.

So I wish you the best with you in-laws.. I know how hard that must be. I would ask your DH to speak to your FIL about backing off.

Probably closer to half a paycheck away from disaster. I know I was.

[BK2008]

I love this thread
DW told her 23 Niece that we were filing the next thing I know I am being attacked by the know it all little BXXXX she has absolutely no clue what she is talking about. She sent me a 6 page email about how I should see a finical adverse and they can fix it all. After about 7 emails I finally talked to her father as it turns out she quite her job her husband of 1 years got fire and they have not made their mortgage payment is 3 months. Then he told me that also ran up over 60K in CC debt. This is all in 1 year.. She has a master’s degree in philology but just got a job in a nursing home for 8.25 an hour. Now I know I made some mistakes and I have also had some disasters that happened one right after the other. Both cars carping out at the same time
I told DW that her niece is OFF out Christmas list

Niece is too funny! SHE is telling YOU what you should be doing, while she is three steps on the road to what the rest of us here are doing or have done??

Gotta love people. People that don't know and have never been there have all kinds of bright ideas on how to fix it. And 90% of the advise is BS. Kind of like raising kids, everyone has a better idea and how you're doing it wrong. Sheesh!

I'd take her off of the birthday, wedding anniversary, and the 7th anniversary of removing-her-braces list!

[debtmonster]

My DH likes to say "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" whenever I'm down... and he reminds me that many people we know are just a paycheck away from BK so they shouldn't judge.

AMEN to that!!!

I hate people who judge when they have not walked in your shoes.

[Intoodeep80]

AMEN to that!!!

I hate people who judge when they have not walked in your shoes.

My God, isnt this the truth.

I have a good friend of which I havent told about my bk (and will NEVER) because she criticizes another friend we have mutually for filing chapt 7. She keeps on saying "Joe is going to get what he deserves after hes out of bankruptcy - they are going to be delegating his money and watching him for 10 years!" She has no idea whats she talking about whatsoever.

Several times Ive told her thats not true, maybe in Chapter 13 you have to pay back for x amount of years but in chapter 7, you are free to start over after discharge. Yet, every time she brings it up she repeats this very line like shes some kind of bk specialist or something

[debtmonster]

Yet, every time she brings it up she repeats this very line like shes some kind of bk specialist or something

She should study and go become a bankruptcy lawyer then.

That's hilarious.

I've only told a few people about my intentions on going BK. So far almost everyone has told me to keep the house. If they lived here a few weeks, they would see how brutal the commutes are to go ANYWHERE even for the smallest thing. Today I went out to pick up food and it took me over 3 hours from the time I left my house to the time I came back. What a joke. Imagine having kids and having that much time being eaten up out here? It's insane. What a mistake to buy a home.

[liz417]

I'm not telling anyone because I don't want to be judged...especially by the nosey-neighbors!
It's my business!

[debtmonster]

I'm not telling anyone because I don't want to be judged...especially by the nosey-neighbors!
It's my business!

Yep... only tell us. We'll only judge that you did the right thing!

[relief13035]

Ok - I just have to know something. I keep seeing people type DH and DW. Can someone please tell me what that means? All I can think of is damn husband and damn wife. That just can't be it.

[BK2008]

Dear Hubby & Dear Wife....

Although in your version, I kind of like DXH!!