Banckruptcy Virgin

[uf101]

I am new to this forum, and cannot believe what I am reading. I come for supportive dialogue and expect to find those in a similar situation as I am. I went from 90K annually to 40K at a ministry. Not the best decision, but my wife and I thought we planned well enough. We didnt.

I Personally would like to thank those who have offered good advice and poured out their hearts. Lauren, DO IT. We have no idea what you are going through apart from what you have told here, but for you to be a responsible person thinking about BK, then I think it is a little worse than you are letting on.

As for rukiddingme, Sorry that you were not smart enough to figure out that BANKRUPTCYFORUM.COM would actually be a forum for those who are FILING BK, not a means for those who are disgruntled creditors to vent. Why dont you try CREDITORFORUM.COM or something of the like. Whatever you do, take the personal axe that you have to grind and get out of here. Your posts do not help anyone.

[deepindebt]

Lauren, I feel the same way you do about bk! I am scared to death to file but I need to do the right thing for my family and my mental health. So do you. But please be honest with your family most of all your fiance. Do not keep secrets, secrets come out and destroy lives. Keeping my debt from my husband almost cost me my marriage and family!! Get the to root of why you got into debt, learn from it and be honest. God Bless you and Good Luck!!!

[3131tj]

for tinroofrusted

And while you're at it, use this as a great learning experience. You can buy a personal health insurance policy for about $50.00 a month to save your butt from accidents, if your work doesn't provide this for you.

just curious (and you can email me privately if you want) but where do you find a $50.00/month insurance plan - even only catastrophic coverage. I am 50, work for myself, just finished 6 1/2 years of school and have had no med insurance for about 5 years. I gave up looking into plans b/c they were SO ridiculouly expensive. I just do my best to work things out with providers - or I go without., or into debt. So if you truly know of a company I should look into I would greatly appreciate any info.

thanks
tj

[herekitty]

Hey 31 - healthinsurancefinders.com can give you a ton of companies with different rates all in one sitting. That might help too.

[edwards2]

Okay what is this - BK police's night out? This is a support forum and while we don't rubber stamp everything everyone does we are here to offer suggestions/advice and share our experiences with each other. We are not anyone's judge and jury. You are certainly entitled to your opinion but I agree with herekitty - this is more about venting toward someone who cheated you out of your money and for that I am sorry but don't stereotype or categorize us. Somehow you have the mistaken impression that we max out our credit cards, live the good life and then file BK. You have labeled us as people with no sense of honor and financially irresponsible. I for one resent that implication. I may fall into the catagory(in your opinion) of "justifiable BK" because of a medical catastrophe but that in no way makes my BK situation any less volatile or dire than anyone else's situation. As for Lauren - the only suggestion I would give you is don't keep secrets from your fiancee; make sure whatever decision you make - you make it together. As for your mom - dont tell her if you dont want to; it is your call. Good luck. Let us know if we can help.

[herekitty]

Amen!

[rukiddingme]

I will admit only what is true

uf101 I will admit I made an error when I came to this site thinking I would find more people in my situation. I made an error when I didnt realize how many (as self admitted in this forum) are in this bankruptcy due to bad decisions and not so well thought out planning. I have learned a lot from the people in this forum and I appreciate all those who let me throw my frustrations at the entire "chosen" bk community. I have a huge amount of sympathy for those who had to file bk because they were wronged by an individual, company or system or have a catastrophic event in their life. I have very little for those who to quote another person in this forum "had their head in the sand when it came to finances". While I do have empathy I find it difficult to find sympathy. I do plan to make tonight my last visit to this site b/c everyone did answers my questions and fight back. That I admire. I hope their fighting spirit leads them to a more profitable future than their past. I dont mind being challenged, I dont mind being told to chill out and try to learn to forgive. I dont particularly like being told I wasnt "smart enough" to figure out this was a cheerleading section for bk filers. I might even check that creditorforum out if it actually exists. But I sleep well at night. I do not owe what I cannot pay, I make sound decisions about my career and I dont give in or up. I wish all you filers the very best and I have learned a valuable lesson about human nature, morale character and trusting others. Thank you for the new lessons and also for validating some of my initial beliefs. While I will always disagree with irresponsible bk filers I do understand the system is in place for a reason. There is also going to be reform for a reason. God Bless you all, even you UF101. I might not have been smart enough to figure this forum out but I am smart enough to keep my finances straight, have no credit card debt, a full time career and financial planning incase I ever do have a tragedy in my life. I am smart enough to stay out of bankruptcy. And you?
Goodbye.

[herekitty]

See, you were doing so well and then one little stab in the end - at first I was going to the bandwagon to reiterate that you should stay because seeing the other side of the coin is valuable.

The fact is we all make stupid decisions, and no matter how spiritual you are my dear or how well you think your life is, you have as well and I would hope the people in your life have been supportive of your decisions.

Unfortunately for a number of reasons a lot of people are very well educated on this site (HELLO - I have two bachelors and I only make 24K)- but there just isn't a job market so we've endured pay cut after pay cut and some of us have opted to be stay at home parents and then had a partner leave or had a partner loose that financial reliablity.

I would recommend staying on the forum and giving your opinion if it's more helpful than hurtful. We would really like to see your scum bag get what's coming and we'd like to know the outcome; however, if it comes at the cost of insulting people then don't. If you feel more frustrated than helped, then don't.

If you need an area to vent - start a blog, a web diary about your feelings, most are free. Send us a link and we will visit.

[rukiddingme]

I concede

Herekitty you are right and I am sorry. I am not mad at anyone here personally even though I DO totally disagree with MOST of what I see. There are good people here....you all let me rant and rave, displace my anger and still welcome my input. There is a lot I will never understand and my biggest fault is trying. I dont know why 3 year olds get cancer, I dont know why people dont stand by their word and dont care about other people. I truly do. My jab at uf101 is because I am a lot of things but stupid is NOT one of them. And that is not because I am college educated and have a great job. (Doesnt pay well b/c I stepped down, but it is stress free). It is because I am very intelligent, likeable and personable. Believe it or not. I am pretty dang funny when I am not so ticked off. I do not want to leave this forum on a bad note and I do care how others think of me, even if they only know me by a login name. I would love to stay home with my children but if I did right now I would be bk...hehe...I just have to tough it out a little longer until we sell a piece of rental property. I guess I dont understand how people allow themselves to get in the situation (AGAIN THIS IS ONLY FOR THOSE WHO HAD A CHOICE!!! NO TRAGIC EVENT OR ACCIDENT ETC...) I care about others very much but being called "not smart enough" was a personal attack and I should have turned the other cheek. Every day I get a little less angry. I found out today that we can not refile criminal charges against the contractor b/c it is just a means to an end to keep our debt from getting discharged. I couldnt believe it. I take two steps toward healing and then I get told if I continue to go after him; I make myself liable to legal action. What a joke. It just feels like there is no justice for me and my family and that is going to take a while to forgive and get over. So let me make my last entry on a more pleasant note because I must turn in. To bk virgin, herekitty, babycakes, edwards2 and everybody else that went nose for nose with me, agreeing at times and disagreeing at others thank you for the insight and letting me vent. And to uf101 in all seriousness, there is no creditorsforum.com (I checked but I think I am going to start one) and sir I am not stupid and you are not stupid. We just have very different opinions. I again wish you all luck but I cant guarantee that I wont get more bad new tomorrow about the jerk who ripped us off and come back firing off at the wrong people so I better truly say goodbye. And as sinful as it is, I have too much pride to come back and spout my scorned venom after I have made my peace and said my apologies. To all of you I offended I am truly sorry. I am hurt, angry and betrayed...give me a while. Maybe I will come back in a month or so and say hello and congratulate all of you for having to courage to face your mistakes and get your life straight. Best Wishes. Cindi

[Minnymouth]

Yes, rukiddingme - your
Nothing wrong with that!!! And you have been "wronged" by someone you paid for services that you did not get.
Just as our "creditors" lent us credit in "good faith"......

EVERYONE LOOSES in bankruptcy - the filers and the creditors!!! Unfortunately, your a "private individual" and cannot "so easily" WRITE OFF the debt....

Yes it creates hurt feelings - all the way around......

Yes, its great that you are so self-sufficient!!!! I am also - have been for the last 40 years...... I take a great deal of pride in being so......never dreamed I would file bankruptcy in my lifetime......

It took me 4 years of 2 jobs, severe health issues, and lots of begging from friends/family before I would "break down" and file bankruptcy....

Filing BK broke my spirit, left me very embarrassed, and turned my world upside down......

I don't know that I will ever be the same person I was before.

But I survived it all, and now there is a "calm after the storm".

I was "forced into bankruptcy" because of medical bills (invalid parent - 4 years) and credit card companies that "would not" work with me......

I am truly sorry that these companies took a "loss" from me.....it was not my intention when I used their cards....

I am "thankful" that our society does offer me the opportunity to start over again............

You KNOW, people DO TAKE THIER LIFE - when they reach the end of the road and see no way out....... especially when they have done everything they know to do....

Yes, I also feel bad for the creditors......they LOOSE ALSO!!! All I can do is hope they forgive me for filing against them.....

And often the creditors (cc cards companies) seem to want to make it even harder for us when we are struggling...

So there is always 2 sides to a bankruptcy.......the Filer and the Creditor.....

Just my thoughts,

Minny

[3131tj]

thanks...

Hey 31 - healthinsurancefinders.com can give you a ton of companies with different rates all in one sitting. That might help too.

I will check into it!

[accentone]

this has been a MOST interesting thread!

[babycakes]

Yep, it's definitely had lots of twists and turns.