Keeping a computer in Ch. 7? Friend of mine's vehicle repo'd by unsecured creditor!

[debtmonster]

You've made up your mind about what you want to do and nothing anyone here says will change it. Good luck.

TS

I know what I want to do but my wife won't agree. I told her, "Let's give ALL OF IT BACK and start over." I told her it's no big deal. We can buy it all over again. I told my mom about this and she said the same thing... "No woman wants to see all of her stuff taken away from her."

I guess guys don't care. We know we can get it back again. We think logically, not emotionally the way women do.

If I could just pay my house and nothing else, then I could save up cash and buy a new $40,000 SUV again with no payments. It would just take 2 years of saving up as long as I have no other bills.

[arkienurse]

I have been reading your back posts today... You guys seriously need to entertain the thought of marriage counseling if you want to stay married. You make it sound like she is in denial about your debt problems. You could also probably benefit from reading a financial book or 2. My favorite is The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. You need to sit down together and write up a budget spread sheet. On one side put down all the income you have coming in for this month. On the other, all the expenses. Getting all these debts together may shock your wife into realizing that big changes have to be made. Prioritize your debts- shelter, food, transportation, utilities, with debt payments last. In other words- what do I have to have to survive this month? If you have to have it, pay it first, then if there is any left for the others, divide it out among them if you feel the need to.

[arkienurse]

! My internet server is burping today, must be Gustav. Radar shows that the first rain bands will be in my area in the next 30-60 min.
Sorry about the double postings.

[woeisme]

Do you have to file CH 7? You could maybe do a Ch 13 with a small payback and not have to wait forever to file? Just a thought.

Good luck trying to get a trustee to let you keep a beamer while not paying a dime back to your creditors. I have a feeling you are setting yourself up for real problems there, no matter what your rationalizations are.

[Flamingo]

My wife did it on her AMEX card and bought it from the Apple store on Apple.com.

Why would Sony take it back when Sony didn't sell it to me? Best Buy is the one who sold it.

We also bought a PS3 last year as well. We owe just over $2600 on our Best Buy card I think. All of this stuff is in my wife's name. We also owe $3800 to Rooms to Go for our living room sofa's and dining room table.

I would be happy to give it all back and start fresh. You have not talked to my wife. She is the most stubborn person you would EVER have met in your life. She totally refuses to give back anything. I have been hounding her forever to go bankrupt and she refuses. Now our money situation is REALLY getting bad. Before we had 3 incomes. Now we have one and it's starting to dwindle.

I'm sorry, I meant Best Buy not Sony...

You had the same situation with your wife last spring in your previous postings and several of us here who are still posting remember your situation. Unfortunately, your wife is still in a bad case of denial as she probably doesn't want her friends or family to know you are having financial difficulties and is trying to maintain the status quo. Reality will soon hit and it's a shame you cannot make her see what is happening. Have you actually sat down with her and did a spreadsheet of your finances and show her how it will all end if something isn't done? Especially if you now only have one income?

[debtmonster]

I have been reading your back posts today... You guys seriously need to entertain the thought of marriage counseling if you want to stay married. You make it sound like she is in denial about your debt problems. You could also probably benefit from reading a financial book or 2. My favorite is The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. You need to sit down together and write up a budget spread sheet. On one side put down all the income you have coming in for this month. On the other, all the expenses. Getting all these debts together may shock your wife into realizing that big changes have to be made. Prioritize your debts- shelter, food, transportation, utilities, with debt payments last. In other words- what do I have to have to survive this month? If you have to have it, pay it first, then if there is any left for the others, divide it out among them if you feel the need to.

You are absolutely right. She is in total denial. I just got off the phone with her 3 minutes ago and told her I want to give back the BMW. She said, "No, I am not giving back my SUV." It's in her name and that's what is messing everything up. I told her that after we pay the mortgage and I take 20% out for self-employment taxes, we're going to have nothing left this month. This month's commission check is going to be very small as the business for August was horrible. If I make $2800-3000, I will be amazed. In the past, we used to make up to $7,000 to $8,000 gross per month. I told her that she is destroying our marriage with this. It will be easier if I just get divorced and go bankrupt on the house and everything if she refuses to give in. She keeps acting like it's the end of the world. It's just STUFF!! YOU CAN BUY IT AGAIN! I see it, but she doesn't! She is driving me insane. We fight about money EVER SINGLE F-ING DAY and it's pissing me off until there's no tomorrow.

[debtmonster]

Do you have to file CH 7? You could maybe do a Ch 13 with a small payback and not have to wait forever to file? Just a thought.

Good luck trying to get a trustee to let you keep a beamer while not paying a dime back to your creditors. I have a feeling you are setting yourself up for real problems there, no matter what your rationalizations are.

Ch. 13 is a total waste. That's like not doing bankruptcy at all. I have no real assets that I am worried about. I like the BMW, but I won't lose sleep over giving it back.

As I said, my wife's mother just died in August. She has a 2006 Honda Oddysey van that my wife's father is paying $500/mo. on. It has 20,000 miles on it. He wants to sell it now as he can't afford it anymore. On the phone 15 minutes ago, I told her, "Why don't we go bankrupt on the two vehicles we have now that we're paying $1050/mo. on. Your dad needs to sell the van. We need something to be able to carry the dogs and travel. We can pay the $500/mo. on the van and drive it and then your dad is off the hook." Her first statement was, "No, I'm not giving back the BMW."

I wish you all could hear her on the phone. She's down with her father right now in Miami and is coming home tomorrow. We're going to fight about this situation every single day. She is so immature about this whole situation. Bankruptcy is no big deal and she's making it like it will be the end of the world for us. It's driving my blood pressure to the moon. Speaking of blood pressure, I am so broke now that I cannot afford my medications which is an absolute priority.

I don't know what else to do. Everything costs money to fix. If I can't afford medication that I need, what makes you think I can afford marriage counseling?

[Flamingo]

You are absolutely right. She is in total denial. I just got off the phone with her 3 minutes ago and told her I want to give back the BMW. She said, "No, I am not giving back my SUV." It's in her name and that's what is messing everything up. I told her that after we pay the mortgage and I take 20% out for self-employment taxes, we're going to have nothing left this month. This month's commission check is going to be very small as the business for August was horrible. If I make $2800-3000, I will be amazed. In the past, we used to make up to $7,000 to $8,000 gross per month. I told her that she is destroying our marriage with this. It will be easier if I just get divorced and go bankrupt on the house and everything if she refuses to give in. She keeps acting like it's the end of the world. It's just STUFF!! YOU CAN BUY IT AGAIN! I see it, but she doesn't! She is driving me insane. We fight about money EVER SINGLE F-ING DAY and it's pissing me off until there's no tomorrow.

As some of us stated to you last Spring, as you had the same situation basically, unless you can get your wife to come to grips with your household financial situation and wake up and smell the coffee, I don't think you are going to be able to resolve the whole thing jointly. Your problems are much more than financial from what you have posted now and in the past. You have become an enabler for your wife and you yourself don't know what to do because you are afraid whatever you do is going to make her more mad. So you keep enabling and allowing her/enabling her to obtain what she wants. Hopefully some of us responding to you will make you see this. May I suggest also seeing a marriage counselor if that is posssible and also consulting with a few BK lawyers to get a handle on your entire situation. It sounds like you may be going through a divorce at the same time as your BK so your situation can get very complicated and I would suggest getting legal advice as soon as possible. It's obvious you cannot handle this on your own at this point.

[debtmonster]

I'm sorry, I meant Best Buy not Sony...

You had the same situation with your wife last spring in your previous postings and several of us here who are still posting remember your situation. Unfortunately, your wife is still in a bad case of denial as she probably doesn't want her friends or family to know you are having financial difficulties and is trying to maintain the status quo. Reality will soon hit and it's a shame you cannot make her see what is happening. Have you actually sat down with her and did a spreadsheet of your finances and show her how it will all end if something isn't done? Especially if you now only have one income?

Yes, I have showed her. She thinks that going back to work for $200/wk. will fix this. I told her she would need to make $3,000 to $4,000/mo. to fix this. $200/wk. will not put a dent in the money we need. It's just making it worse because she's putting all of those miles on the car to get to work since we live so remote out in the middle of nowhere. For me to get a good paying job, I have to drive 90-120 miles away. We can't sell our house because it's upside down. And even if we did sell it, we can't buy another one since the banks are more strict about giving out loans. And now that our credit score is like mid 500's and my wife's is about 511, nobody will sell us a house. Plus the fact that I have apt evictions on my credit report from the past, no apt will let me rent. I already talked to a couple about it. Not to mention that renting is a scam. When you rent, you're simply paying somebody else's mortgage and not getting the tax benefits. I get a near $10,000/yr. write off that I could not get with renting an apt. And an apt similar to what I am living in now would cost more than we're paying. I've talked to lots of friends who have seen my house and when I tell them what I pay for the mortgage and utilities all of them have said unanimously, "You will never get a place that cheap down here. You're better off staying there."

It's getting to the point where suicide will be the only way out for me.

[Flamingo]

Yes, I have showed her. She thinks that going back to work for $200/wk. will fix this. I told her she would need to make $3,000 to $4,000/mo. to fix this. $200/wk. will not put a dent in the money we need. It's just making it worse because she's putting all of those miles on the car to get to work since we live so remote out in the middle of nowhere. For me to get a good paying job, I have to drive 90-120 miles away. We can't sell our house because it's upside down. And even if we did sell it, we can't buy another one since the banks are more strict about giving out loans. And now that our credit score is like mid 500's and my wife's is about 511, nobody will sell us a house. Plus the fact that I have apt evictions on my credit report from the past, no apt will let me rent. I already talked to a couple about it. Not to mention that renting is a scam. When you rent, you're simply paying somebody else's mortgage and not getting the tax benefits. I get a near $10,000/yr. write off that I could not get with renting an apt. And an apt similar to what I am living in now would cost more than we're paying. I've talked to lots of friends who have seen my house and when I tell them what I pay for the mortgage and utilities all of them have said unanimously, "You will never get a place that cheap down here. You're better off staying there."

It's getting to the point where suicide will be the only way out for me.

DebtMonster - do you have any family close by that can help you and advise you? Or call them if they live further away? Any close friends you can confide in? If you are feeling that badly about this situation, there is help out there. There is no problem that cannot be fixed/resolved. Including yours.

[debtmonster]

DebtMonster - do you have any family close by that can help you and advise you? Or call them if they live further away? Any close friends you can confide in? If you are feeling that badly about this situation, there is help out there. There is no problem that cannot be fixed/resolved. Including yours.

My parents are divorced. I spoke with both of them. My mother has not had a job for over a year. My father told me that he's made about $7,000 this year. I've talked to everyone about it and they all say the same thing... "Give it all back and go bankrupt."

I am all for it, but I cannot file if my wife won't meet the attorney and sign the papers. I showed you my incomes. I make over the median income. For Florida, a married couple cannot earn over $50,000/yr. to pass the means test. That's $4166/mo.

Since January until now, we had many months where we were way over that amount. What do we do? Then my December bonus will mess it all up. I don't know what else to do. I am dieing to go bankrupt. If my wife won't come to her senses, I may have to end up divorcing her and go bankrupt on my own. Then I'll be homeless and without a vehicle. I am thinking about suicide or leaving the country.

[arkienurse]

My parents are divorced. I spoke with both of them. My mother has not had a job for over a year. My father told me that he's made about $7,000 this year. I've talked to everyone about it and they all say the same thing... "Give it all back and go bankrupt."

I am all for it, but I cannot file if my wife won't meet the attorney and sign the papers. I showed you my incomes. I make over the median income. For Florida, a married couple cannot earn over $50,000/yr. to pass the means test. That's $4166/mo.

Since January until now, we had many months where we were way over that amount. What do we do? Then my December bonus will mess it all up. I don't know what else to do. I am dieing to go bankrupt. If my wife won't come to her senses, I may have to end up divorcing her and go bankrupt on my own. Then I'll be homeless and without a vehicle. I am thinking about suicide or leaving the country.

If you are really feeling that down, please find someone to talk too. If you can't locate a hotline or counselor in your area, you local hospital can help you. This is only money and stuff. It is all temporary in the grand scheme of things.

[debtmonster]

If you are really feeling that down, please find someone to talk too. If you can't locate a hotline or counselor in your area, you local hospital can help you. This is only money and stuff. It is all temporary in the grand scheme of things.

Please convey that to my wife. For some reason the light bulb is not going on in her head.

I am still waiting to hear back from the attorney to see if he will take my case.

[Never_Again]

At first, I thought that you might be a troll, but the talk of suicide makes me think otherwise...

Suicidal thoughts are very real, and certainly money trouble can aggravate that. Get to the doctor for some help, and bring the wife with you. Does she know about that part of your life? If not, time to tell her. If she does, and still is thinking of herself, then maybe time to leave. Nurse is exactly right... money and things are temporary.

Best wishes to you, and take care.

[debtmonster]

At first, I thought that you might be a troll, but the talk of suicide makes me think otherwise...

Suicidal thoughts are very real, and certainly money trouble can aggravate that. Get to the doctor for some help, and bring the wife with you. Does she know about that part of your life? If not, time to tell her. If she does, and still is thinking of herself, then maybe time to leave. Nurse is exactly right... money and things are temporary.

Best wishes to you, and take care.

A troll!??! Are you nuts?!?! I am sitting here giving you all of the facts about my life with personal details about my income and vehicles driven and I am a troll?!?! I am very offended at you even thinking that. What would I have to gain?

Since I have nobody else to talk to about this, that is why I have come here. I was making semi-decent money in the past and had financial problems then... now that money has been cut in half and a world of problems is now coming upon me.

When I did a spreadsheet of current bills... we came up with about $226,000 in current debt (not including the repo's and other charge-offs from the past.) Out of that $226,000, $140,000 of that is owed to my mortgage.

If I add the repo's and other credit cards defaulted on from the past, I can easily top $100,000 in debt that we would be cleaning off in a Chapter 7.

I need to come up with a list to post on here for all to see to get your opinions. I think everyone here should do that. Post all of the items in detail. It helps people contemplating bankruptcy compare to the real world.