Having a hard time...

[berrymom31]

Most of you have read my posts about us giving up our house and how we found a great little house that was owner financed..I felt really good about moving...was not sad at all...today...this will be our third night here...I am so sad. I've been crying....I miss my house, neighbors, town.....my life. We got up here and something happened to our fridge when we moved it...it's completely broke..can't afford a new one....I just feel so out of place..and I just want to go home...I'm sorry this is not really bk related...but my dh says I'm crazy and selfish...now were fighting....I know things will get better. I'm just far away from everything I've know for the past ten years and I feel like we made a mistake...maybe we should have toughed it our through a 13?

[MomIcantFindmy]

Berrymom..it will get better. Remember that soon you will be on the other side of this and life will be better than it is now. Get some seeds (I go for walks and snag free seeds from my neighbors plants.....lol) and start some plants for your new house. Make a dream list of things you would do to the house if you could (everything from paint to new light switches to remodel). Go to the library and check out books on subjects you enjoy. You are gonna be fine.....it will be a tough right now but you and your DH will make it!!!

[jenopher]

Awww, you are temporarily depressed. Not selfish or crazy at all. You just need time to adjust. Go for a walk in your new neighborhood and look for the new, cool ,good things about your area. Go with your husband if you can and recommit to making this work with a positive attitude. Don't waste another minute thinking about what you could have or should have done. You made a decision and it's time to move forward and look for the good things about your decision. So, maybe you need to put dome food in a cooler or two for a few weeks till you save for a fridge. Check craigslist for a used one as you save the cash. You can get through this with ease and smile while you do it.

[needingsomehelp]

Most of you have read my posts about us giving up our house and how we found a great little house that was owner financed..I felt really good about moving...was not sad at all...today...this will be our third night here...I am so sad. I've been crying....I miss my house, neighbors, town.....my life. We got up here and something happened to our fridge when we moved it...it's completely broke..can't afford a new one....I just feel so out of place..and I just want to go home...I'm sorry this is not really bk related...but my dh says I'm crazy and selfish...now were fighting....I know things will get better. I'm just far away from everything I've know for the past ten years and I feel like we made a mistake...maybe we should have toughed it our through a 13?

Hi there-
I just wanted to tell you that I know how you are feeling. We had originally filed 13 and tried to save our home, however it didn't work out and we ended up converting to a chapter 7, and walking away.
We love our new home, and the location (we are also doing lease to own), and this house is actually better than our old home. It was our third day here as well, that I spent the day crying my eyes out, and just wanting to go home. I was so depressed and sad. My husband just reminded me what I told him when we made the decision to walk away. " Without my girls (I have two little girls) and my husband, I don't think anyplace could be a home, so as long as we are all together that is really all that matters. It is a very hard decision to leave your home. but know that you new house will be a home. It just takes a little getting used to. Things will get better, and it will all be alright. Just remember that you made the right decision. You will be less stressed in the long run, and a less stressed mommy & wife is a better mommy and wife.
Anyways- if you need to talk more, feel free to PM me anytime! Good luck to you!!

[liz417]

..Get some seeds (I go for walks and snag free seeds from my neighbors plants.....lol)!

Love that idea!!!!

Berrymom,
I'm sorry you are going through this right now, this is a big change and will take some time to get used to...in the end (ch 7) it will be worth it....hang in there

Big Hugs to you!

[justplaintired]

You have every right to be depressed, and no you're not crazy. You know you might want to talk to your doctor about this. Depression while you're under this much stress isn't unusual and going to the dr isn't bad.

Now remember your post about this cute little house so close to schools? I do. What might help is finding a way to make this place feel more like home. Maybe painting a room or two? Maybe planting a tree or flowers like someone said. Throw yourself into a project on this new place. Make it feel like it's yours. Take the kids to the school playground. Sit on your front porch and watch the neighbors walk by maybe you'll make a new friend. My best advice is start by making this house feel like home. Get your mind off what is happening by throwing yourself into a project in your cute new house and I think maybe you'll start feeling a little better. Have a cookout with the kids and DH. Do all those little things that make a house a home. Your family is what will make this your home, and you still have them and no one can ever take that away.

My best wishes to you and your family and you are doing the right thing, getting a fresh start!

[JollyGG]

Bake a batch of cookies and take a dozen to your neighbors to introduce yourself, Hang up your pictures (seems to take me forever after we move and it doesn't feel like home until the kids baby pictures are on the wall), call a friend from your old home to say hi and miss ya, go enjoy one thing in your new home that is better than the one you left.

Change is hard and it is normal to be sad. Their is a hint of saddness for me whenever I moved on in life even if it was the happiest of occurances, because it means I left something behind. Things will soon look up.

[epiphany]

So, maybe you need to put dome food in a cooler or two for a few weeks till you save for a fridge.

I recently did this because the breaker that controlled the fridge blew. Yes it was a pain in the ass as I was buying ice every day (and it took three weeks to get it fixed) but it passed.

It did have an upside because I did not waste any money on anything that would not fit in the cooler for the day so I actually saved money and have gotten into the habit now of not buying more than I need!

ep

[epiphany]

Most of you have read my posts about us giving up our house and how we found a great little house that was owner financed..I felt really good about moving...was not sad at all...today...this will be our third night here...I am so sad. I've been crying....I miss my house, neighbors, town.....my life. We got up here and something happened to our fridge when we moved it...it's completely broke..can't afford a new one....I just feel so out of place..and I just want to go home...I'm sorry this is not really bk related...but my dh says I'm crazy and selfish...now were fighting....I know things will get better. I'm just far away from everything I've know for the past ten years and I feel like we made a mistake...maybe we should have toughed it our through a 13?

You will have new neighbors, town, life. It just takes time. Then when you do, you will be doubly blessed because not only will you have this new life, you will somewhat have the old one too...friends there...friends here. MORE friends.

Whether or not you should have toughed it out through a 13 is irrelevant now. The time you take to tough it out to get used to your new life will surely be much less time than it would have been to tough it out through a chapter13.

Stay strong. You will get through this and be enjoying life again in no time.

The very best of luck to you.

ep

[JRScott]

Hang in there , don't give up.

Make the best you can of it. I've had a few crisis myself since filing bankruptcy.

The first of these shortly after filing the brakes on my car went out.
Then a few months later the fuel lines rusted through
Just 3 weeks ago the water pump went out

For a fridge try to see if there is a second hand news printed in your area. Here there are usually a couple of fridges in there that work at reasonable prices. Might help you get one .

It is always sad to move away from what you know. You'll be tested from time to time but you gotta pull through

[gymbo]

berrymom31, Your post made me feel so sad for you If I win the lottery, I will send you the $ to buy your house back! But since I don't have money to play the lottery, sorry, it probably won't happen.

Change IS hard. And everyone will approach it differently. But time heals all and IT WILL get better

[liz417]

berrymom31, Your post made me feel so sad for you If I win the lottery, I will send you the $ to buy your house back! But since I don't have money to play the lottery, sorry, it probably won't happen.

Change IS hard. And everyone will approach it differently. But time heals all and IT WILL get better

LOL!!! You are just so sweet and honest!!!
Love it!

[MajorMike]

You're sad and depressed NOW, but you won't be once this burden is lifted. Whose to say you can't move back once you're back on your feet, right?
Once you are discharged, you can do whatever you want. Go back to your old town, get back into your contracting job...and do it without the burden of debt. Everyone is going through this or has during the BK. It's not supposed to be fun or happy...but once you're through it and it's done, you can breathe AND LIVE again...
And guess what, it'll be WAAAAAAAY sooner then you think!

[MajorMike]

Wow, that was post 777...See? Life is looking up already! LOL

[Frogge]

Keep your spirit up, Berrymom, I remember your posting about simplifying and wanting to get out of the superficial place you were before... remember the reasons, and look toward a good, solid DEBT FREE future! It's all good. HUGS to you.