Just checking in...

[ameliabedilia]

Hi everyone-
I just wanted to check in and see how things are around here . There are so many new members in just the last six months! I keep reading about how stressed everyone is and I thought I would give an update that might encourage somebody.
Since our discharge (January of this year), things have been going
really well for us. We rented a home a few months ago and that was a major source of anxiety for me because I still don't like telling anyone besides our family about the bk. But, we found a great house and I took a deep breath and filled out the application form and checked the box about bk. I gave the landlord a copy of the discharge and he was fine. Such a relief!

I just want everyone on the prefiling/pre341 side of this to know that this can be a very good decision. If you are losing sleep, depressed, and the numbers add up to you qualifying to file, you should! We even did it pro se because there was no way we could get the money to hire a lawyer.

My husband and I say that it may have been the best thing we have ever done, financially and personally. It is so great to go online to pay bills and there are about 4 each month instead of 12 or more. We also both decided to start thinking positively and said to ourselves "we are really good wth our money and really responsible" and that has proved to be self fulfilling. We have had some good luck since filing (new jobs and an opportunity to live rent free for several months) and I think part of it is a good attitude that attracts the good luck.


I was so depressed and I would lie awake almost every night and let things stress me out and worry and now I don't feel that way ever. We are not making a crazy amount of money, but we have been able to save $10000 for our savings account. I never had that before. I think part of it was living so frugally to be able to pay all those credit cards that we have tried to live about the same and have done well.

It breaks my heart when people post about how they feel like a failure because I have been there and it stinks! It truly is a business decision and a lifestyle/mental health improvement decision!

[Cali]

Your story should be inspiration for many. Glad things are going well for you and your hubby.

[bal_ny]

Thanks for sharing your story! Being able to put a substantial amount into savings is my #1 goal and it's a relief to hear about your success

[ameliabedilia]

It looks like both of you just had your 341's- congrats!

As far as our savings, ours was a little bit of luck- we had an opportunity to live in a corporate hotel for 6 months. Otherwise we wouldn't have been able to save that much. I hope I didn't sound preachy or anything, because I have been there. I just want people to see the other side because lots of us leave after the discharge so we don't hear too much about post bk life. This forum was the most comforting thing in my life for several months. It worked better than nyquil or red wine to get me some sleep!

[tomato]

Thanks for sharing! It's great to hear from someone who's come out of this successfully. Hubby and I are getting ready to file, and to be honest, post-BK life sounds a lot like Heaven to me. No more worrying about money, being able to stay home with the baby, having a savings account again...it's good to hear it's not just a pipe dream, but can actually happen!

[reallynervous]

Thank you for posting your words of encouragement. That savings is great!! My first goal is to build up a good emergency fund, so that we don't have to worry so much about finances if we hit another period of dh needing to be off work due to health issues.

reallynervous

[liz417]

Thank you Amelia for sharing your story. Your last paragraph really touched me. Yes, this is a difficult time as many of us struggle on this new road of bk. Sometimes, I think the hardest thing about this bk is the DECISION to file for bk. Lots of sleepness nights, lots of stress medication and lots of decision making...but we are all on the right road!

Thanks again!

[deafbroke]

Excellent post. I'm within a week or so of being discharged and it is a world of difference not having all the bills. Creditors can be real jerks when trying to get their money. Collectors use scare tactics, call constantly, and make your life a living hell. Stress is all there is at that point. Then when you file it all for the most part disappears. Night and day difference. My wife was very reluctant to file bankruptcy because she felt we got ourselves in that situation so we need to pay the creditors. I didn't agree at all. It reached a point where we had no choice and she finally agreed but felt terrible about it, until the day we filed. She was sooo relieved. We had problems with the filing but once we got an attorney to straighten it out everything is going smooth. Had one creditor try using a different collector after I filed. They called my wifes cell phone. I took the phone, and told them LOUDLY "THIS ACCOUNT IS PART OF MY BANKRUPTCY FILING AND YOU ARE VIOLATING BANKRUTPCY LAW BY TRYING TO COLLECT A DEBT THAT IS BEING DISCHARGED. IF YOU CALL US AGAIN I WILL FILE A COMPLAIN THE THE BANKRUPTCY COURT AND THEY WILL INTERVENE ON MY BEHALF. They said "this is the first time we even called", I said "I DON'T CARE, DO NOT CALL AGAIN, GOODBYE"!

Haven't heard from them since. It was DirecTV. Sneaky jerks. They're on the matrix, the collector they used before anyway, but that collectors statement shows directv as the client so we have proof.

But it is a world of difference not having to worry any more. Soon it will be over. Good post for others to read.

DB

[ameliabedilia]

The creditors are the worst! A friend of ours had one that asked him if his kids knew that they couldn't pay their bills and if they were embarrased about it!
My husband made a game out of the creditors answering with dumb answers and infuriating them. I remember he was out of a job and told a credit card company that. They asked if he was looking for work and he said no, asked how long he had been unemployed and he said he couldn't remember, that he had been fired for sleeping with the boss's wife. It really took the edge off!

I can tell everyone- I already almost NEVER think about our bk and it has only been 6 months since discharge. I think that is why many of us leave after our discharge instead of staying to give advice (I do plan on checking in once a week- I feel bad taking so much from this board and not returning the love ) I actually have fond memories of much of it- especially when I pay bills each month and our account doesn't go to zero when I'm finished. I also feel very much in control and proud that we made a good decision for our family- I was a grumpy, impatient, stressed out mom. I'm certainly not perfect now, but I realize how much time I spent worrying about money and I can't believe I let it do that to me.

Good luck everyone and think positively- it can only help and it can't hurt.

[sick of debt]

Must be the most wonderful feeling, Amelia. Besy of luck to you in the future. Your story is wonderful.

[Frogge]

Wow, Amelia - thank you sooooo much for 'checking in'. I've been in such mental distress the past few weeks and the best things to hear are what you just said. I feel like this forum has given me hope and allowed me to breathe a sigh of relief that things will work out for the better. It's amazing. So glad I found you guys.

[epiphany]

Thanks for sharing your story Amelia! It is so great to hear and I am so happy for you.

Can't wait for the same!

ep

[soleprop]

<3 for amelia!!! i've been laying low for a couple of months, afraid to finish my paperwork and file my pro se no asset nonconsumer chapter 7...mostly scared that the court/trustee will not think my case is 'worthy' - but the stress...well you all know about the stress.

i needed to read something like amelia's post tonight, i'm motivated to dig in and finish my paperwork and file. worst they can say is 'no' right? and best case scenario, i'll have the peace of mind amelia described.

oy - thank you all for this forum. so glad to have a community of people that understand..