What to tell people

[liz417]

No one at work knows I am filing ch 13. But as people talk, the conversation quickly turned to bankruptcy and three people admitted filing ch 7 years ago...it just makes you wonder....

P.S. They had horrible stories of how humliating it was, etc. Of course they would NEVER recommend it and so on and so on....

[csrhjr31]

Work gossip is the worst. I am a teacher, so not only do the teachers talk but the parents are even worse with gossip. I am worried because I live in the same district I work. I am dreading when the foreclosures are listed in the paper.

[MomIcantFindmy]

I have always believed that the person in the room that said nothing appeared the most intelligent (may or may not be so). So when the conversation turns to debt and bankruptcy I say nothing. If someone were to ask me such private information I would probably look at them with a puzzled look on my face then walk away.

I have told two family members. One who also filed. I believe in never talking personally about religion, sex or money, (some people include politics....however, I am from a family of politicians). Just my thoughts.........

[b_girl]

Not saying a word...course it came out in the local paper, as well as the largest paper in our state (WTH? ) so now you can google our names and there we are in black and white. I keep expecting someone to mention it, but nothing so far. It's no one's business but our own.

[Stilltheone]

I have told my parents, my in laws, a close neighbor, a close friend at my daughter's school....

As for "everyone else", they don't know and I plan to keep it that way. Everyone close to us knew that my husband had a cut in salary and we had no other way to deal with it then this.

I look at it this way. It's really no one's business but your own.

Good luck!

[dragonnfly]

I told my sister, only because she is in worse $ situation that us. Now her hubbys losing his 6 figure salary when DHL combines with UPS Air. So she may be joining me later. We kept our house so we didn't have those questions, but we did surrender my 06 Durango. We just told everyone that someone offered us what we owed on it and I really wanted something that got batter gas mileage (truth) so we let them buy it (lie). Im currently driving my sons 98 Jeep POS. Funny thing is the only thing I really miss is the good stero, thats not worth 550 a month.

[jktrading]

I'm not telling anyone anything. If I have to be late on payments before BK and they look up my Mom in the phonebook (same last name), I'll just tell her, sorry you're getting calls because you are listed and we have the same last name, but we made a business decision, and don't really wish to discuss it at this time, please feel free to give anyone our home number. Then say I love you, and sorry again you are being called.

Something like that anyway.

[epiphany]

I'm not telling anyone anything. If I have to be late on payments before BK and they look up my Mom in the phonebook (same last name), I'll just tell her, sorry you're getting calls because you are listed and we have the same last name, but we made a business decision, and don't really wish to discuss it at this time, please feel free to give anyone our home number. Then say I love you, and sorry again you are being called.

Something like that anyway.

That's good JK. My brother and sister and law have been called twice (once each) but they don't know what's up. My credit union actually asked for my brother and NOT ME. He emailed me saying they had called him (and he called them back but got voicemail and they hadn't called him again). I emailed him back saying "sorry, don't know why they are calling you, I will call them".

I dread that my brother will ask me why they called but if he does, I plan to take the same approach as you.

To the OP--this is nobody's business but your own and you don't owe anyone any explanations. And certainly don't tell anyone at the office unless you want everyone at the office to know.

Good luck,
ep

[b_girl]

OMG! Calling your relatives! Now that is low. Do they think they're the mafia or what?? Thankfully that hasn't happened to us. I'm not sure why bankruptcy has such a stigma attached to it..it's a financial decision like any other, so why does the family/co-workers/neighbors need to know??

[Brookamy]

I don't plan on telling anyone anything.

[PoorGrammyinBK7]

Most of our family knows that we were thinking of filing - some of them have had to do it as well. Our friends don't know. I guess if they were truly close friends we would have told them. Hmm.

My husband went to pay on our HELOC and we have become friends with the people at that small bank branch. Does that make them an "insider"? LOL.

So, anyway - while he was there, they were talking about how bad it is and how many foreclosures, etc and even started talking about a situation that sounded similar to ours - no names and wasn't ours, but it was freaky. He felt so bad, cause he knew we would be filing within a few weeks or maybe days and hoped they didn't somehow "know" - but don't see how they would. I want to go and sit down and talk/explain our situation to the branch manager - she took me to a chamber of commerce meeting/ lunch once and I know she has had family members who lost businesses, etc and shared that with me, so maybe I should - but I can't bring myself to do it. I would hate to have HER be the one to show up at the 341 with a reaffirmation agreement in her hand!!

I am just sure they will be talking about us too - hope they don't say our names - but you KNOW they do amongst themselves. Then, to add insult to injury my husband has a strong possibility of getting a certain job near there - and we just found out that the employer banks there - sheesh! This just never ends. More and more I am thinking of just letting the house go and moving away!!!!!

[Cali]

If that can get a hold of you they can call anyone they can find that will help them. They called my neighbor across the street, even though they had my home number, cell and address.

OMG! Calling your relatives! Now that is low. Do they think they're the mafia or what?? Thankfully that hasn't happened to us. I'm not sure why bankruptcy has such a stigma attached to it..it's a financial decision like any other, so why does the family/co-workers/neighbors need to know??

[b_girl]

If that can get a hold of you they can call anyone they can find that will help them. They called my neighbor across the street, even though they had my home number, cell and address.

I'm pretty sure that meets the definition of harrassment..how can that really be allowed?

[ameliabedilia]

They didn't publish names where we filed, and we had only lived there a year anyway so Iprobably wouldn't really care. But I do know that if I read the paper and saw someones name that I knew, I would never mention it to them! How akward! As long as people don't confront you on it, then let them talk behind your back if they want. You're probably the only one with no debt, so probably doing better than most!

[Help!]

...You're probably the only one with no debt, so probably doing better than most!...

That is so true!