What to tell people

[csrhjr31]

So... I am curious as to what you are telling everyone?

My husband and I are in the middle of leaving our home that we are hoping to surrender in the bankruptcy and moving into a lease to own home. The majority of the people I am telling that we sold our house and are moving. Not sure what our new neighbors know, the owners knew our situation, not sure if they told everyone in the neighborhood.

Just wanted to see what you are telling everyone...

[BK2008]

I just tell the ones close to me the truth. Everyone else, moving back into the city. Closer commute (true statement).

And in my neighborhood, it's not like I am the ONLY one...forclosures / short sales up and down the streets.

[stressin]

My business is failing/closing so I am telling everyone the truth--that we gave it our best shot, and just couldn't make it. I have told anyone who asked--or pressed about why the store is closing--that I was filing for bankruptcy. I don't see any reason to be ashamed--it's an option available to those of us who find ourselves in debt beyond our means to pay.
I figure there are others out there who won't feel comfortable sharing their circumstances, but maybe if I share mine, there will be people who won't feel so alone. Besides that, there will be a public record of my bankruptcy if anyone is THAT interested.
That said--I think it is up to each person how they want to handle things and who they want to tell. In the end, it really isn't anyone else's business.

[southernbelle]

The more I open up to people closest to me, the more I realize I'm not the only one with money and/or credit problems. I just found out today that one of my coworkers that makes 1 1/2 times what I make has horrible credit and still needs to borrow money from her parents.

There's nothing wrong with asking for help, but I realize more and more every day that I'm not the only one struggling. I see it everyday I get gas or buy groceries so I would tell your old/close friends the truth and the new friends and neighbors you relocated for convenience. You can't control what they might or might not know and you'll be surprised, most of them are probably worse off that you or might be going through the same thing.

[AngelinaCatHub]

The more I open up to people closest to me, the more I realize I'm not the only one with money and/or credit problems. I just found out today that one of my coworkers that makes 1 1/2 times what I make has horrible credit and still needs to borrow money from her parents.

There's nothing wrong with asking for help, but I realize more and more every day that I'm not the only one struggling. I see it everyday I get gas or buy groceries so I would tell your old/close friends the truth and the new friends and neighbors you relocated for convenience. You can't control what they might or might not know and you'll be surprised, most of them are probably worse off that you or might be going through the same thing.

Thank you for saying it Ms. 'belle. This is a business decision and should be looked at in that way. There was a time I could write a check to help someone for a hundred bucks and never miss it. Today I look around for loose change to purchase a beer, if I want one. All I can say is, I've been in the high places, I've been at low times, but I am living right, learning all the time, and proud of my past, mistakes and all. 'Hub

[Cali]

I didn't tell anyone anything. I figured if they are that worried about what is going on, they should contribute to my financial well being and that way I wouldn't have to file.

[Help!]

There are houses emptying right and left in my old neighborhood, so every time someone moves it's just assumed that the house is going into foreclosure. The truth is that many of our former neighbors are probably headed down the same path and either just don't realize it yet or are in the kind of denial we were. I'm completely open about surrendering our house through BK. My hope is that those who are doing what we did (using CCs to make ends meet in order to keep up with suffocating mortgage payments) will learn from our experience.

[liz417]

We aren't telling anyone...it's no one's business!

[AngelinaCatHub]

I didn't tell anyone anything. I figured if they are that worried about what is going on, they should contribute to my financial well being and that way I wouldn't have to file.

LOLOLOLOL

[bmrigs]

Tell people that the corporation known as the United States of America has been operating under bankruptcy since 1933. It diverts the attention away from you with their dumbfounded look.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Tell people that the corporation known as the United States of America has been operating under bankruptcy since 1933. It diverts the attention away from you with their dumbfounded look.

This one is a LOL also. Look at any Senator or Congressman. That blank look when asked do they understand fiscal responsibility, is like seeing a deer blinded by headlights.

[Flamingo]

So... I am curious as to what you are telling everyone?

My husband and I are in the middle of leaving our home that we are hoping to surrender in the bankruptcy and moving into a lease to own home. The majority of the people I am telling that we sold our house and are moving. Not sure what our new neighbors know, the owners knew our situation, not sure if they told everyone in the neighborhood.

Just wanted to see what you are telling everyone...

The only people that knew we filed were our close friends and family. They knew our situation was getting bad when my hubby could not find a decent job after losing a six figure salary in 2/01. It was hard to hide due to our lifestyle change during the year before we filed. No one else has to know your business unless you feel the need to tell them. I don't think anyone new will come straight out and ask you if you foreclosed or filed BK and it's usually best not to divulge private information to anyone unless you know them really well cause some people just love to gossip. The more private you keep it, the better off you will feel. It's no ones business but your own.

[southernbelle]

I didn't tell anyone anything. I figured if they are that worried about what is going on, they should contribute to my financial well being and that way I wouldn't have to file.

ROFL!!!! I love that one.

I agree Flamingo. The people I work with know I'm acting differently, but don't know why. I'd never share the details of my filing BK with any of them because I work in the epicenter when it comes to gossip. They would circle like sharks if they knew there was a possibility to spread some newfound news about me.

I told one of my coworkers (who was snooping around in my office last week) that I preferred to keep my personal business at home and she was shocked. The way I see it is, why share with people that don't genuinely care and only want the opportunity to entertain themselves with my misfortune. I'm sorry, I've got enough problems as it is already.

[Flamingo]

Southernbelle - the office is the worst. They can pick up if you put two instead of one sugar in your coffee. Sometimes they know you better than family. No one in my office knew except our HR manager who was the one who confronted me (if you ever read any of my previous postings). She heard my husband lost his job and she came to me privately and asked how we were doing and if he had any hopes of finding a good paying job. I said it was bad but did not go into gory details. She told me we should invesetigate filing BK as she filed Chapter 13 three years prior and was almost done - she said it was the best thing she ever did and explained it all to me. It turned out she had the same attorney we eventually hired. So that goes to show you you never know....but office gossip is the worst cause it can get back to your boss or even outside clients...When I had to take some time off to go to attorney appointments and they were close together, I just told folks in the office there were some issues regarding my aging mother that I had to handle. No one questioned anything further.

[Cali]

I would hate to work in an office like that.