Consultation on Monday

[marcie26]

For those of you that pray please pray for myself and my family. We haven't even seen an attorney yet, but been researching since January. Things have been really rough - as you all know already of course.
I ended up resigning from my job - I am pregnant with baby #3 and I would have used almost my entire paycheck to pay for daycare so it just didn't make sense.
I am really stressed out about not having an income, trying to keep my kids happy, healthy, and entertained by myself each day, and worried about my husband telling me I don't contribute financially when he gets mad at me.
I am also worried that my husband will not learn from the bankruptcy and continue using the ATM every week when we can't afford it and/or continuing to make poor financial decisions.
My husband and I have a rocky marriage as it is and divorce has been something I have considered for a LONG time - not sure how I would do it with a $500 student loan payment and no job.
I have an apt next week with the WIC program (to get formula, milk, pb, etc.) and I am applying for some state healthcare as secondary insurance since our insurance does not cover a lot - if we get covered I can seek therapy and try to work out some of my "issues."
I know I am rambling, but I know that you guys/girls understand. The advice and encouragement I have gotten here has kept me from falling even deeper into depression - thank you all for that and please continue to think of me/the family as I do all of you (even those I don't know

[Cali]

Marcie I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

[marcie26]

Thanks Cali - that means a lot

[Phillymanhere]

Good luck with the upcoming consultation Marcie.

I think it's great that you've come to this board and gotten some support. As someone who is divorced and got out of a really bad relationship (for me and for my ex), I feel sad to hear about your hubby's struggles.

Just one thing: I know student loans can usually not be discharged. But I would love for you to run it by your attorneys anyway--because your situation sounds pretty dire perhaps ... If you're going to the meeting without your husband, then I would even run the scenario of divorce by the attorney. If you were divorced and near destitute, could you qualify for student loan discharge? ... I know, it's a long shot.

Hang in there. I think it's a great thing that you are owning up to the troubles in the marriage. That will help you stay sane, saner than being in denial.

[JRScott]

I'll keep you in my prayers

[marcie26]

Good luck with the upcoming consultation Marcie.

I think it's great that you've come to this board and gotten some support. As someone who is divorced and got out of a really bad relationship (for me and for my ex), I feel sad to hear about your hubby's struggles.

Just one thing: I know student loans can usually not be discharged. But I would love for you to run it by your attorneys anyway--because your situation sounds pretty dire perhaps ... If you're going to the meeting without your husband, then I would even run the scenario of divorce by the attorney. If you were divorced and near destitute, could you qualify for student loan discharge? ... I know, it's a long shot.

Hang in there. I think it's a great thing that you are owning up to the troubles in the marriage. That will help you stay sane, saner than being in denial.

Thank you - yes, I am going with a friend and will ask about divorce. I printed out some case scenarios where a student loan was discharged in bankruptcy and will show them to the attorney - it is a long shot, but worth checking into.

[AngelinaCat]

Dear Marcie: You have all our prayers and good positive thoughts for you upcoming meeting. Our Best~~~~

[CindyLou]

Marcie,
If you divorce, DxH will had to pay child support and alimony!!!!!!!

[Footprints1973]

Marcie, prayers for you....I have been feeling that God doesn't listen prayers for myself but He does listen my prayers for others. Just remember you are not alone. Talking with an attorney with help you a lot. It's a big first step but it will answer a lot of your questions and hopefully put your mind at ease a bit.

[marcie26]

Thank you everyone - I haven't been on here since the consult and didn't see all the replies til now -sorry!
The consult went well, made me feel very relieved about a lot. Now, the problem is that we plan to sell some vehicles to pay for the attorney and catch up on some bills. Well, my procrastinating husband refuses to do anything to get the vehicles sold and they are all in his name
He keeps saying we should just settle and that we don't need to file - uh, yeah, I doubt 20 diff creditors are going to settle and for a very small amount. I think that would be way more hassle trying to get them all to agree to something and then can't they come back and say we didn't pay them? I can't wait for the phone calls to stop
We have been taken to collections on one bill and now will be soon for the medical bills.

[FreshLikeADaisy]

Marcie, it seems your husband is unaware of the fact that he will have to pay taxes on the forgiven debt if he settles instead of paying or filing bk, and as you noted, that's IF he settles. It seems more likely that if hubby does absolutely nothing in the next few months, in the end he will be sitting on a stack of default judgements and be forced to file anyway, so what he's gaining (other than emotional and financial control over you) by waiting and doing nothing is lost on me.

I strongly encourage you to continue seeking assistance for your own priorities, including researching divorce, and I wish you every success. Best wishes to you and your babies!

[liz417]

Hi Marcie,

I'm sorry you are going through this right now, you should be enjoying your pregnancy, not debating a divorce.
I'm glad your consultation went well, but in order to have a successful BK, both spouses NEED to be on the same page. Your hubby needs to get with the program...
You are right, with appox. 20 creditors, what are the chances that all of them with settle for pennies on the dollar. Your hubby is dreaming.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers!

[marcie26]

Thank you!