It stinks to owe family money...

[cj0203]

I was talking to my mom yesterday and mentioned how we will be spending down our tax return on necessities before we file if we can since we don't know if they trustee will try to take it and she mentioned us paying her back the $2K we owe her from this summer. Ugh, I had to tell her we can't do that yet because it's a big No-no to make one big payment to someone (even my own mom) when we've stopped paying several creditors. And it will probably be little bits over the next several months when we DO start paying it back.

I didn't even WANT to tell her about the bankruptcy but I didn't really have a choice because we were required to list the $2k we owe her as debt. I know this is a business decision and all that, but man is it tough to have to get my MOM involved.

[krielly]

Yes, I imagine that's tough.

Just remind your mom that although you are in a 7, nothing says you can't pay her back when this is all said and done, and let her know you fully intend to do that.

I would also let her know that if you DID pay her now, the trustee could actually go after that money from her. That would really create problems and involve her even further than you wish to. Obviously, you don't want that to happen.

Maybe mom will feel better if you commit to a plan to pay her back (so much per month) once your case has been closed. If she can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and knows what's going to happen, maybe she will feel a little better about it.

good luck
K

[rrockinggramma]

It is tough when you owe your family money. My siblings are still mad at me over the whole situation. Only I owed my Mom way more than 2K. She mortgaged her house for us and like an idiot I turned all of our unsecured debt into HER secured debt, to the tune of 55,000.00 OUCH! Of course, it didn't make any difference cause I had 4 mortgage payments plus car payments and when I could no longer keep up, BK was filed. Now back in 01, had I had an attorney who sat down with us and told us the ins and outs of both chapters, maybe I would have been better off but all we heard was "you don't want a chapter 13." Well no, I didn't want to be on a budget. LOLOLOL So now, 2 BK's later, I am almost done with my chapter 13. My mom sold her home to wipe out the mortgage and invested her profit etc. She told me, no worries, forget about it, she would have helped anyone of her kids. But she just put me back into her will in November (was taken out at the time of the loan) and now my siblings are super mad. But she is insistent. But I don't talk to my brother and sister much and when I do it is tense and short.

[nazstar]

It IS hard. I owe my brother $6500 and my best friend $5100 plus another $7000. I was supposed to pay them out of my bonus but I didn't know about the preferential payment rule when that promised that. Now I have to spend that money on neccesities and it just won't be there after we file to pay them back. We will be on one income and I'm not sure what we'll do to get them that cash back. On top of that, I owe my mother $12,000, which she is willing to consider a gift, but it makes me queasy...

[m1gallien]

I know we owe lots of money to our family. When we were better off my husband paid his dad back for a legitimate loan expense in August. Now the trustee wants that back. We are supposed to get a 13 k tax return we can kiss that good bye also. Plus now we are going to have to pay his dad back again! After the discharge, we are still almost 200k in debt from student loans,family, and credit cards that we are the second on that we refuse to get family involved in our stupidity.
Lesson learned never lend money to anyone! You end up paying a stupid tax!

[LeslieF]

when it is all said and done i feel i will have a plan, a job and no debts. then and only then can i make financial amends to my friends and family. i think at that point that as long as i am making an effort with what i can afford i will be okay. hopefully you will too. just be completely honest and i think it will all work out much better than you could have ever imagined. the biggie for me tho is to NEVER have to put myself, my family and friends thru this ever again.

[Flamingo]

Let me give you a perspective from the other side of the fence as to what it is like to lend money to family/friends with promises of pay back within a certain period of time. To anyone borrowing, please state upfront to your family that you may not be able to pay them back and would they still consider lending to you? If it is an emergency most family will lend if they have the money and most lend with the borrower promising to pay them back by such and such a date, or when the next check comes in, tax refund, etc., etc. Lending to family/friends is very difficult and many relationships have been ruined over it so it is always best to state at the onset that one may not be able to pay back the money and would they still consider lending under the circumstances. Once you put that on the table, it takes any issues away later. We have a family member that has hit everyone in the family for money at one time or another and we got hit when their electricity was shut off - they wanted us to send them money but I told them to give me the number to the electric company and I would pay for it - the bill was almost $500. We were told we would be paid back that summer when their tax rebate check came in...that was the summer of 2008. It is now April 2010 and no money. Don't be like that to friends and family cause you will get written off...be honest at the start.