Tired of the wait- Long

[wjnicki]

[chpxiii]

I cannot advise you on what you should do. But I will say this: we hire lawyers to advise us on matters of law since they are supposed to be experts. Much like we hire doctors to advise us in matters of medicine. We are always free to get a second opinion - but ultimately the decision is ours. Ultimately we are free to do what we want.

If I were to suggest something, it would be to trust the person who you hired to defend, represent, and advise you. Your lawyer's advice does not sound unreasonable at this point.

[FreshLikeADaisy]

Man, that's a raw deal. I have no advice for you, just wanted to say sorry and good luck.

[Runnin on empty]

Same here, no real advice except to state that this is why I don't ever borrow from family/friends. Too much at stake. Good luck and sorry to hear of your loss.

[325Falcon]

Yours is a sad story for sure! God has a reason for everything.

That being said I think your Mom offered you a great deal when you first wrecked your car, like a Mom should do.

Any bank would have made you pay them the insurance check and still owe the difference with no car.

[Pinedawg09]

That is an awful situation. I had my 341 about 6 weeks ago (2 weeks until discharge, maybe?!?) and I had listed my father as a creditor. He (and my mom) took out bank loans to help me get through college and I owed him about $15K. He never bothered me to pay it, but my lawyer insisted that I put it on my BK case. He didn't come to the 341 meeting and he's not that upset if he never sees the money (although I plan to pay him/them back). I guess what I'm getting at is that I can't believe that your own mother would hold you hostage for 9K. That really chaps my a$$. I'm super sympathetic to your situation because my GF's parents are that way with her...very nitpicky and every cent she ever asks for or borrows always has to be brought up. They always pick very social situations to do it to her as well. I'm not saying they don't deserve to get their money back, but since he's indepently employed, they own 2 house and 1 rental property, they are not "hurting" for the money at all. I would advise trying to wait it out another 2-3 weeks and if nothing happens, then I would ask your Lawyer to get involved and ask the trustee what's going on. I'm sure if done properly, it won't have a negative effect on your case. GL...hope it all works out for you!!!

[tay666]

Just remember lawyers and the legal system move at their own pace.
No matter what you do, you aren't going to get them to work any faster.
Your case is not the only one the trustee is working on.
How many other people had 341 meetings the day you did?
He's got all those to work on too, as well as all the other ones from other days he was their for 341 meetings.
He will deal with your situation when he gets to it.
Trying to get him to move faster may make him unsympathetic to your circumstances.

I know waiting sucks.
But for an amount like 9 grand, I'd be willing to be patient and hope for a favorable outcome.

[wjnicki]

Thank you for the advice. I am going to listen to my lawyer and wait. I had offered to continue to make payment arrangements with my mother even increasing the amount from 225 to 350. (Which would have left us with nearly no money to buy food.) She told that she wanted the entire amount. She and her new husband went to my FIL viewing and started to cause trouble and had to be escorted out by my father and his brother. It was the wrong place and wrong time to be bringing up my financial situation to everyone. She is a self- centered person who wants everyone to feel nothing but pity for her. I could probably write a book about how awful living with her was.

[FreshLikeADaisy]

Thank you for the advice. I am going to listen to my lawyer and wait. I had offered to continue to make payment arrangements with my mother even increasing the amount from 225 to 350. (Which would have left us with nearly no money to buy food.) She told that she wanted the entire amount. She and her new husband went to my FIL viewing and started to cause trouble and had to be escorted out by my father and his brother. It was the wrong place and wrong time to be bringing up my financial situation to everyone. She is a self- centered person who wants everyone to feel nothing but pity for her. I could probably write a book about how awful living with her was.

Your attorney can better advise you, but I would not increase payments -- in fact, if it's a chapter 7, I don't know that I'd be paying at all, but that's up to you.

Have you ever looked into what it means to be the adult child of a narcissist? Because what you describe of mommy dearest pretty much fits that scenario. I'm no shrink and I can't diagnose her (obviously!) but if you are the adult child of a narcissist there's a tremendous amount of support for you on the net -- lots of people who know what it is to grow up with no reality, where what is white one day is black the next and it's all about someone else -- and I'd like to encourage you to check it out. That's true not only of narcissism, but of the other personality disorders as well (HPD, BPD, etc. -- narcissism is known as NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder) as they have the net effect of turning the lives of spouses and children into living hells, and people who haven't been through it just have no clue, really, of how unbelievable it can get. You may have already checked into this, but just in case you've never heard of it I suggest it now. If you'd like I can get you some links too.

Good luck to you!

[wjnicki]

I proposed the increase before I filed for Ch7. I have not paid her since April of this year. The only things that I’m paying on are my Student loan and my Federal taxes from 2006. Neither which can be discharged.

I’ve heard the term narcissism, but that’s about it. If you can send me some links I would appreciate it very much. I have pretty much lost contact with my mother’s side of the family. No one on her side of the family showed up at my wedding. Oh well It was there loss.

[JollyGG]

Please send me the links at --------------[/email]

Please don't post your email. Spammers have programs designed to pick up your email address and once your on those lists the spam never ends.

Have them PM you instead. Or PM them with your email address.

[FreshLikeADaisy]

Okay, will do. It will probably be later on this evening. BTW, I have no links to any of these places (as far as I know they're all not for profit, like Yahoo groups and such) and I've never been hit up for any donations or to buy anything from any of them, just so you know. That, and these groups are just like any others on the net -- anonymous as you wanna be. So if all you do is lurk and decide it's not for you, nothing lost.

There is one Yahoo group for children of narcissists that you do have to sign up for if you want to see their posts, but it's for the protection of the members with abusive narcissistic spouses. No charge, though. It's one of the better ones, too, so don't back off just because you have to "pre-approve" for membership -- they just want to make sure you're not an ex-spouse with a new screen name. Good luck!

[FreshLikeADaisy]

Please don't post your email. Spammers have programs designed to pick up your email address and once your on those lists the spam never ends.

Have them PM you instead. Or PM them with your email address.

Good point! Go ahead and edit your post to remove your address, and I'll PM them to you. I forgot about the spambots.

[FreshLikeADaisy]

Okay, you've got them in your inbox. Good luck!

[wjnicki]

Thank you!