Too little - too late

[nazstar]

If you can believe it, I actually trusted my ex to pay the mortgage and his truck payment after I left. Jerk quit working in JULY to avoid child support obligations. Forget about paying the for the house he lives in or the truck he drives. And it's perfectly peachy that his ex wife gets her checks garnished because he doesn't "feel" like paying for loans he took out.

I'm just debating on whether or not I should tell him I filed, or let him get his "possible creditor" letter in the mail.

Wow! See, wiggling out of child support is another whole level of hell. You moved out of the house with the children and he stayed there?!

[coma]

This is awesome We left our 341 meeting today, after the trustee told us that we basically got screwed. He joked about how long our case was taking, and told us we'd have our discharge in a few months...my husband and I cracked up. I was like, yeah right...that's what we've been told before. It was hard not to. We told him that maybe the third time's a charm Anyway, we decided that 2008 is going to be our year. I got a job today, making more than my husband , the 341 went well, and this September will be our 10th anniversary...you have to laugh to keep from crying!!

Hang in there...you're doing great!

[LifeNLemons]

Wow! See, wiggling out of child support is another whole level of hell. You moved out of the house with the children and he stayed there?!

Yeah, the house is located in the middle of nowhere, NV (otherwise known as Silver Springs, NV). It's conveniently located about a hour from any form of "real" civilization. And I hated it anyway.

[nazstar]

Ugh. That SUCKS! While my divorce was not rosy, it was easy in that we had no assets and no children. I'm thankful for that!

[nazstar]

Anyway, we decided that 2008 is going to be our year. I got a job today, making more than my husband , the 341 went well, and this September will be our 10th anniversary...you have to laugh to keep from crying!!

CONGRATS! Not to rain on your parade, but the new job won't affect your filing status, will it??? My lawyer told me that he had someone that mentioned at the 341 meeting that she just got a new job and was starting in 2 days - they eventually got forced into a Chapter 13. He told me that I shouldn't even have a job prospect in sight the day of my 341. Might want to just ask your lawyer anyways.

[chpxiii]

CONGRATS! Not to rain on your parade, but the new job won't affect your filing status, will it??? My lawyer told me that he had someone that mentioned at the 341 meeting that she just got a new job and was starting in 2 days - they eventually got forced into a Chapter 13. He told me that I shouldn't even have a job prospect in sight the day of my 341. Might want to just ask your lawyer anyways.

This is why you shouldn't start looking for a new job until AFTER your 341 meeting.

[LifeNLemons]

Yeah, its given me a whole new concept on marriage thats for sure. Its definitely made me stronger. I filed for divorce and bankruptcy, both things I didn't think I had the courage to do. (Yeah Me! )

[coma]

No. The job does not start until January 2, and I found out when I got home from the 341. Besides, he didn't even ask about employment. My husband is military, so I guess he figures that there probably won't be any changes They own us more than the BK court does!

[woohoogirl]

I have enjoyed this thread all day. I've made notes to tell the jerks that call tonight. I've also made notes of 101 Things Not To Do When Divorcing/Separeting. Wow, I thought my gold digger ex boyfriend was a piece of work (well he's a piece of something ;) )
Now I just have to remember how to turn the ringer back on...

[FreshLikeADaisy]

I'm just debating on whether or not I should tell him I filed, or let him get his "possible creditor" letter in the mail.

Heh, let him get the letter in the mail and then when he asks you what it's all about, tell him it's just a formality and shouldn't affect him in any way. He can throw the letter out and forget the whole thing. Of course, you filing bankruptcy may trigger foreclosure on the mortgage if it was in both your names, but the casual attitude you describe on his part toward house payments tells me that he has carefully looked into all the repercussions of non-payment, and after much soul-searching and consideration, has decided not to pay the mortgage after all. The deep concern with which he approaches all of his commitments -- including supporting his children -- says to me that telling him in advance about your bk and what it means would most certainly be a superfluous and unnecessary step on your part.

I'm with Nazstar, that's a whole 'nother level of hell. Quitting your job to keep from having to feed your kids? Daaaaaang...

(Just kidding about the letter, but I honestly would not feel obligated one way or another. In fact, the less I talked to him period the better off I'd be, and the more likely to continue breathing HE'D be...)

[nazstar]

Yeah, its given me a whole new concept on marriage thats for sure. Its definitely made me stronger. I filed for divorce and bankruptcy, both things I didn't think I had the courage to do. (Yeah Me! )

When I was contemplating divorce, I was horrified at what people would think. Then I realized that one day, when we are old and gray (or in my case, "mature" and "silver") we will look back on our lives and see the regrets. I wanted those to be as few as possible so I took action for my own happiness. Once I was free, I didn't give a crap what people thought because I was so happy. i guess you never know how much courage is in you until you are forced to call upon it!

[BKcrazy]

Oh my. Yes, it is nice to tell them that they can stick it in a nice way. My mortgage co is still contacting me with piddly little crap. And my attorney has informed me that they are borderline in contempt of court. How funny that is!!!! Because if he wants to take them to court for that, they have to pay his fee and some money to me.

[nazstar]

No. The job does not start until January 2, and I found out when I got home from the 341. Besides, he didn't even ask about employment. My husband is military, so I guess he figures that there probably won't be any changes They own us more than the BK court does!

Ok! I just wanted to make sure. But now that you know the answer, CONGRATULATIONS! GO GIRL, GO GIRL, GOT THE JOB, WOOT! WOOT!

Yeah...waaaaay too much sugar.

[nazstar]

Now I just have to remember how to turn the ringer back on...

I figured I can deal with the calls on my own terms or I can just ignore them and hit "mute" on my ringer all day. Whether or not I take a call usually depends on my mood.

[chpxiii]

I'm with Nazstar, that's a whole 'nother level of hell. Quitting your job to keep from having to feed your kids? Daaaaaang...

My sperm donor left for Mexico. Started a whole new life. Found me 37 years later (2 weeks ago infact) and now expects to be in my life as my "father" and expected me to just fall all over him saying, "OH DADDY! I'M SO GLAD YOU FOUND ME!" (I'm 39 now. I was 2 when he left.)

*koff*

I dont think so. Ultimately I told him I needed time to decide what I want to do. I'm not even sure I want him in my life now. Or his side of the family.

I do know that I DO want some of his money since he "did so well in life" - if only to pay off my student loans. He's got two other kids he stuck around for and even put through college.

Bastard. I was on such a high of paying off my chpt. 13 9 months early when this happens in my life. Yeah, my boyfriend and I did go out to California to meet him Thanksgiving week.