young and stupid... now i'm in trouble. seeking advice

[HenriettaHen]

DeepT, I echo Minny's advice as well - and I hope that you will take the sage advice of two crones and a coupla codgers, whose combined life/hard knocks years total from eight to ten times the number of yours.

Don't groan.

It sounds to me like your family wants to help you ( and has the means to help you ) to find a way to bring your debt under control. You might be feeling this as a way of them controlling your life.

That's something you can change - that feeling. It takes insight, which you are doing right now!

In order to gain, or regain, your self-esteem, it IS possible to admit a mistake and work hard for a few years to rectify it. At your age, with your energy, this is not NEARLY as hard as you might think, listening to we online personalities who are twice your age.

You're a college graduate. What are your areas of interest/expertise?

I don't mean to be HARSH, but you are simply not allowed to say "I CAN'T" for the duration. Ya?

[JRScott]

deeptrouble I just wanted to correct you on something, you are not entirely at fault. The lending services have long targeted college students. They've made it to easy to get credit. There are more and more college graduates finding they have burden themselves with to much debt in the process. I have recently cautioned the young people at my church of the dangers of relying to heavily on student loans.

You've got time right now as the others say. Take some time to study the situation. If you get a job you might can get back on track.

Most Trustees don't ask you what you spent your money on. Nor do most judges. You will fill out an expense sheet, however you wouldn't put money you spent on drugs on that. You'd move it to the entertainment or perhaps food categories. You'll find that most lawyers will suggest changes to your schedules for expenses to make them fall in line with what a trustee or judge expects to see.

I'd get out an hit the pavement everyday, pray about it. If at all possible get a job based on what you need to meet all expenses. If such is not possible, take a job that can at least meet your living expenses (including student loans) but excluding the credit cards.

I've not seen anyone ask this, but are you the only signature on the various credit cards/loans?

[deeptrouble]

deeptrouble I just wanted to correct you on something, you are not entirely at fault. The lending services have long targeted college students. They've made it to easy to get credit. There are more and more college graduates finding they have burden themselves with to much debt in the process. I have recently cautioned the young people at my church of the dangers of relying to heavily on student loans.

You've got time right now as the others say. Take some time to study the situation. If you get a job you might can get back on track.

Most Trustees don't ask you what you spent your money on. Nor do most judges. You will fill out an expense sheet, however you wouldn't put money you spent on drugs on that. You'd move it to the entertainment or perhaps food categories. You'll find that most lawyers will suggest changes to your schedules for expenses to make them fall in line with what a trustee or judge expects to see.

I'd get out an hit the pavement everyday, pray about it. If at all possible get a job based on what you need to meet all expenses. If such is not possible, take a job that can at least meet your living expenses (including student loans) but excluding the credit cards.

I've not seen anyone ask this, but are you the only signature on the various credit cards/loans?

yes - on the credit cards i didn't have anyone co-sign for me or anything like that.

the student loans, which aren't dischargeable anyways, i'm not so sure.

[whatamess]

I see nothing wrong with your parents paying your students loans if they can afford it. I would do it for my kids If I could someday too. An education expense is just that....and well worth it.
Can they afford to bail you out of your credit card debt? Maybe you could set up a payment plan with them after you find a job. If so, count your blessings, payoff and pay back no matter what.
I tried to get my BIL to help us, and offered him a low interest rate but he said no. Despite a has a TON of money and made a bunch of stocks last year. I cant blame him though I guess. I would have made a legal contract with him though.
If you are lucky enough to have this option take it, but IF you do, PAY IT BACK! You NEVER want to loose credit with family.
WAM

[Minnymouth]

DEEPTROUBLE,

It's a new day, a new beginning, and the 1st day of the rest of your life......

Get your game plan together, talk to attorneys, and get on with the program of straightening out your life....

Hard work never hurt anyone, and most people its healthy for them.....

Talk to your attorneys (at least 3), make your decisions on what you need to do to solve the problems.

If you need to file bankruptcy - then so be it...... if not, maybe an attorney will know another alternative for you.....

Let your family help, but don't rely on them to do it for you........ this is your responsibility - your headache - your problem......

Since you are a college grad its time to use your "smarts"...... that's what you went to school for.....

You save you have no insurance.... well, towns do have local health clinics that are very reasonable, some are free, based on income, where you can get medical help if you need it.

Keep us posted,

Minny

[deeptrouble]

thanks Minnymouth.

so far, i've talked to 2 lawyers, one in person and one over the phone.

1st lawyer told me my case was a pretty simple/clear cut ch7 case, while the other lawyer (talked to this guy only on the phone) was concerned about my exposure to objections due to the newness (is that even a word) of some of the accounts (7-8 months for 2 of them).

makes me sorta think the lawyer that told me it was easy peasy is not as good as the lawyer that mentioned possible problems.

gonna schedule a few more consultations this week, have another job interview on tuesday, and then we'll see.

[CindyLou]

Hi and welcome to the forum! I have to disagree with Lrprn and say don't sell off your electronic equipment. Those type of things don't hold value very well and you will not be in a position to replace those things anytime soon. They will be exempt if you do decide to move forward with your BK. Just my opinion. I say, move foward with the BK while you qualify for a chapter 7 and get a clean slate. I see now way in the near future for you to dig your way out of your hole. Do it now while it's simple. Once you get a good paying job it will be complicated. Trust me, a 13 is no fun!!! You will have no more trouble getting a job with a BK on your record than with open delinquent accounts. Seriously, get out there and get this BK behind you before your life gets more complicated! You will be happy you did.

[deeptrouble]

Hi and welcome to the forum! I have to disagree with Lrprn and say don't sell off your electronic equipment. Those type of things don't hold value very well and you will not be in a position to replace those things anytime soon. They will be exempt if you do decide to move forward with your BK. Just my opinion. I say, move foward with the BK while you qualify for a chapter 7 and get a clean slate. I see now way in the near future for you to dig your way out of your hole. Do it now while it's simple. Once you get a good paying job it will be complicated. Trust me, a 13 is no fun!!! You will have no more trouble getting a job with a BK on your record than with open delinquent accounts. Seriously, get out there and get this BK behind you before your life gets more complicated! You will be happy you did.

Thanks cindylynnsmith.

I have an i-view next week, and I want to talk to at least 2 or 3 more bk lawyers and see what my options are.

I dug myself into this hole, now I need to take some responsibility and get myself out.

[CindyLou]

IMHO BK is taking responsibility. It is not the easy way out. It is the legal way to start over and start making the right decisions. A good question to ask yourself is this: If you do file, what will be your finanicial situation in 5 years. If you don't file, what will be your financial situation in 5 years. Seeing a few BK attorneys will help you tremendously!! Even if you land a great job you are still within your 6 months of low income to file so you are ok. You should be proud that you are taking control of your situation and making some changes. Whatever you decide you are going to be a better person because of it. It is an amazing feeling to be on the other side of finanical problems and finanally feel like things are coming together. It is a process, but things do come together nicely with hard work and determination. You will get there!! Stick with us!!!

[deeptrouble]

the weekend collections calls have started...

[Lindsay]

How will the trustee know that you bought dope? I don't understand that and I didn't realize that dope dealers took credit cards now. What does it say on the statement for the charge?

I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now so I know how you are feeling. I know that this shall pass though and things will get better. My parents made things easy for me too and it was a harsh reality when I had children of my own, a husband, a mortgage. I'm going to be 39 in Oct and we have nearly $80,000 in credit card debt.

[deeptrouble]

How will the trustee know that you bought dope? I don't understand that and I didn't realize that dope dealers took credit cards now. What does it say on the statement for the charge?

I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now so I know how you are feeling. I know that this shall pass though and things will get better. My parents made things easy for me too and it was a harsh reality when I had children of my own, a husband, a mortgage. I'm going to be 39 in Oct and we have nearly $80,000 in credit card debt.

in regards to this, only a small small small amount of the total debt went for more illicit purchases...

im just paranoid about the trustee or courts going line by line of my credit card and bank statements and questioning me about everything

[Lindsay]

in regards to this, only a small small small amount of the total debt went for more illicit purchases...

im just paranoid about the trustee or courts going line by line of my credit card and bank statements and questioning me about everything

I'm scared about that too. Last night I had a dream that we were in a courtroom and there were judges and trustees everywhere and when my husband and I got called up, they started hitting a huge gong with a stick and yelling, "We have a bell ringer!"

Our unsecured debt levels are pretty large and this has been a problem getting worse for many years. I don't even know what was bought over the years. Most of our appliances are old, and our tv and livingroom furniture were a Christmas gift from my parents five years ago! We did have to replace a broken stove, microwave, and dishwasher on credit but that was probably two years now and they were cheap ones, the stove was $700, the microwave $50 (scratch and dent), and the dishwasher was around $300. I think most of the debt was incurred from groceries, utilities, home repair expenses, auto expenses, ect (at 20 - 32% interest rates). But I'm still nervous about it! Our income was low enough to qualify for food stamps and HEAP for many years and I was too embarrassed to apply for them. My husband has been chronically underemployed (he has issues) and I sell on eBay and Amazon and go to college full time so hopefully I can get a good job when I get my degree next year. I think the problems occurred simply because we were spending more than we made for a period of years.

I just wouldn't mention any illicit purchases at all to the lawyer or the trustee, especially if it was a small amount. If you are pressed for details, maybe you can say you partied in a bar and got drunk several times. That would sound alot better as I think that many guys your age do that all the time.

From what I've been reading on the boards, it doesn't seem like the trustee looks at specific charges unless they were in the 90 days before filing, but I'm not totally sure.

Like you, I haven't totally decided if I should file BK yet. I'm nervous about it, but the more I read, it seems like it will be the most probable conclusion to this mess.

[familyof7]

Worse case is you say I HAD a drug/ Alcohol problem and a majority of my misguided financial decisions were a result of that but the trustee will not ask you what all of your debt was spent on only within the past 90 days if you had a cash advance or some large purchase but just wait 90 days from last transaction and you will be fine

[lrprn]

Worse case is you say I HAD a drug/ Alcohol problem and a majority of my misguided financial decisions were a result of that but the trustee will not ask you what all of your debt was spent on only within the past 90 days if you had a cash advance or some large purchase but just wait 90 days from last transaction and you will be fine

You can say that you had a drug problem, but if you open that door then some trustees will then ask if you had some kind of treatment for the addiction. Best to leave it out of the discussion unless the trustee specifically asks about it (not likely). Frankly most trustees don't care to hear the specifics about how you ended up in bankruptcy unless you committed fraud or did something illegal. Some will ask, but only expect a very general answer. Try not to stress about it.