young and stupid... now i'm in trouble. seeking advice

[deeptrouble]

your sister and your mom pulled your credit report??!
sue them! jk

haha... i am lucky they haven't disowned me by now.

[emoney]

With your future earnings with and without BK on your record the answer is simple. Get some job and start a debt repayment plan or save up and settle debts for less than what is owed.
In five year this will just be a bad dream. BK will stay on your credit report for ten years. Any high level job a BK will keep you out of the running.
regards,
emoney

[JRScott]

right now i'm unemployed b/c of a stupid decision to quit my job about 4 months ago...

i've been on a number of interviews since then, and it's a tough decision for me to try and get a job out of desperation, or get a job that i feel like will be a good fit for me.

my credit being trashed and not being able to get a loan for a car or home concerns me much less than credit being trashed and not being able to get a job i suppose. my family is kind enough to STILL be willing to cosign for me for any loans/credit needs in the future, but obviously they can't help me out on credit checks for employment.

my field isn't finance, but i guess you could say i currently do not have a field

if my family bails me out, i guess it would be better for bankruptcy, but on the other hand, i feel like it would be continuing to live my life as i have thus far - taking very little to no personal responsibility for my actions...

i think i have a lot of mental health issues that need to be addressed ... i go through spurts of impulsive behavior w/o thinking about what the consequences are, years of soft drug addiction, but i have a very supporting family and girlfriend that STILL wants to get married to me even after i told her all this bad news.

3-5 months past due on 30-40k of credit card debt... aaah what have i done...

i feel like i have a lot more i want to say / a lot more questions to ask, but its hard for me to form these questions into clear and easily digestible thoughts

i've already met with 1 bk lawyer, and i guess i don't really know enough to understand if she is a good one or a bad one. i guess her personal appearance kind of put me off - i thought she was a paralegal/secretary when i first saw her in the parking lot of the lawfirm.

uggh so many questions, so little time, i feel like my back is against the wall

There's plenty of time. If you have no job right now, your basically judgment proof.

Even if you had a job it takes between 6 to 18 months for most creditors to start proceedings to get their money from you in court and can take between 3 to 6 months to run through the court systems depending on state.

You've got some time.

One thing to keep in mind that if you do file for BK, and your gf is not part of it. Then in the future you might still be able to get a decent home mortgage/car loan with her as the primary after you get married.

You've got a couple more months at least. I know the phone calls can be the worse. Get an answering machine. Have a clear and concise message identifying yourself. Let it pick up calls. Also get caller ID and block those that refuse to show their ID.

I've gone through a lot of mental anguish over the last 2 years because I tried to fight the battle and pay off the debts, in the end I got worse in debt than I started and decided after consideration and prayer I had to file bankruptcy. I wouldn't wish that agony on anyone. You've got time though. Don't feel you are up against the wall.

If you had a bad feeling about the lawyer then its time to see another one or two. It is important to have a lawyer you are comfortable with.

[deeptrouble]

as far as BK goes, i'm also concerned about having to answer to the judge or trustee about the purchases i've made. some were for "illicit" goods and i fear being charged with a crime or felony

in no way do i want to commit fraud and get myself even deeper in trouble.

[JRScott]

my expensive electronics consist of 2 computers, a laptop, a tv, video game systems, some car stereo things, and a few other miscellaneous items that i consider expensive.

the first and only BK lawyer i met with told me that i probably wouldn't have to lose any personal property, but i guess she assumed i didn't have a stack of expensive electronics? or maybe she is sheisty and i should keep looking...

Well depends on your state. Most electronics don't keep value well. It depends I suppose on age of the stuff, and what else you own. If that's all you own she probably can use a wildcard exemption to save most of it. I was just mostly generalizing. A lawyer in your area would have a better idea of what he could and couldn't exempt.

[BKOnce]

"Illicit" = bad = drugs = ... or !??

[deeptrouble]

"Illicit" = bad = drugs = ... or !??

pretty much.

not cool... in retrospect.

[Minnymouth]

This may sound "harsh" to some, but IT'S TIME you cleaned your act up, got yourself together, get a job, and get yourself out of the mess your life is in right now......

Your very fortunate if your family, friends, and especially a girlfriend is still willing to standby you and/or help bail you out. Consider yourself lucky.

Self-pity will not solve the problem........ only actions will.

Best to solve the problems NOW instead of when your older with a houseful of kids/wife your trying to support.

Talk to at least 3 attorneys and see where you stand right now financially.

THEN IT'S TIME for a "game plan"................

A list of things that will help get your life back in order and where you want it to be.....

It won't be easy, nothing in life is, but you "take the blows", "clean up the mess", and hope the future is a lot better from your efforts.....

Imagine what it would be like with "no family, no girlfriend, and nobody that gives a S****, whether you survive or not....... So be thankful that you still have a support system in family, friends, girlfriend.

Make the RIGHT DECISIONS, make the RIGHT MOVES to change your situtation..... and start doing it now!!!

Keep us posted

Minny

[deeptrouble]

Minny - your post wasn't harsh at all and I really appreciate it.

I'm 24 and still a child basically.

It's time to grow up.

But it's hard to shake the fear and anxiety still.

[Minnymouth]

Glad you took it that way, was hoping so...... THAT'S STEP #1.

I have a nephew and neice in their late 30's that are still dependent on their mom..... when she's gone, they will never survive....

I hate that for anyone.....

Yes, growing up whether at 17 or 24 is a "harsh reality" sometimes..... in more ways than one....

But how you deal with it shows your strengths and weaknesses.......

Taking "control and being responsible" for your own actions is a great part of "growing up".... Others aren't always going to be there to bail you out...

Life has its "times" when it can really make you nervous, no matter how old you are...... Remember your 1st date? Some its when they got married! (I've seen grown men stand there with their knees knocking), lol Some when they started having kids!! Job interviews! ANXIOUS TIMES, but we all deal with them....

Everyone wonders/worrys about their futures, young to old, no difference. The young try to plan their futures, the old wonder how much time they might have left.....

Life is a path of "do's and don'ts", "trial and errors", "good and bad" all thrown into one pot.....

If you have trouble dealing with certain things, don't be afraid to discuss it with you doctor..... everyone needs a little help now and then, whether is be something for an upset stomach to something to help settle their nerves while going thru hard times and situations.

We here on the forum will support you, listen to you vent and whine, and hopefully help steer you in the right direction to help solve some problems for you. We will offer suggestions of what you can do...

Then the decisions are up to you...... they must be YOURS....

Hope we can help,

Keep us posted,

Minny

Ask others for guidance (listen to what they say)

[deeptrouble]

Hah.. the problem with the doctor part is... i have no insurance currently and thus no doctor!

[AMISLANDER]

pretty much.

not cool... in retrospect.

It happens to the best of us BK trustee has heard EVERYTHING...they can't turn you down because you wasted your cash on dope...If it's truely over $40K, if you have medical and credit card debt, and no job...take your time to file since you're not working & just start organizing the debt that you're going to go bust on.

Go to at least three attorneys, you've got the time and get a number of opinions...

Remember if any of it's student loans....you will repay that, you need to have a car before you file because w/no job & no credit rating it will be much harder after you're online with a CH.7. Be careful!

[deeptrouble]

It happens to the best of us BK trustee has heard EVERYTHING...they can't turn you down because you wasted your cash on dope...If it's truely over $40K, if you have medical and credit card debt, and no job...take your time to file since you're not working & just start organizing the debt that you're going to go bust on.

Go to at least three attorneys, you've got the time and get a number of opinions...

Remember if any of it's student loans....you will repay that, you need to have a car before you file because w/no job & no credit rating it will be much harder after you're online with a CH.7. Be careful!

the 40k is in credit card debt, no medical bills.

i have student loans as well, but family has been paying them and sadly enough, will probably continue to do so.

and the car i drive is a car paid for by my parents, titled in their name, bought for me.

yes, at 24, pathetic i know.

[Nowwhatohio]

Minny, I agree with your "harsh post"

The first thing the OP needs to do is stop blaming others for his problems. It's no one's fault you were "spoiled" and then took positive action to overextend yourself and buy expensive electronics and DRUGS!

Bk sounds like a good option but ONLY if you learn the word "responsibility." Get a job and buy a Dave Ramsey book and get off the drugs so you don't repeat your mistakes.

[deeptrouble]

Minny, I agree with your "harsh post"

The first thing the OP needs to do is stop blaming others for his problems. It's no one's fault you were "spoiled" and then took positive action to overextend yourself and buy expensive electronics and DRUGS!

Bk sounds like a good option but ONLY if you learn the word "responsibility." Get a job and buy a Dave Ramsey book and get off the drugs so you don't repeat your mistakes.

i didn't mean to make it sound as if i was blaming my family for spoiling me - moreso blaming myself for letting them do so.