How Do You Guys Handle This, I Can't Take It

[freshstart06]

I am sitting here in tears, the stress is just too much. I am so tired of not getting ahead. No, don't worry I am not the type to kill myself I love life but life right now sucks. we worked so hard and barely see it. This is so hard on me. The only good thing is I know we can't go to jail for this but everything we work for can be taken.

My landlord returned our rent after we were upfront about filing bk, even though he gave me somekind of excuse for it, I still feel we must move asap.

I just want to know how do you guys handle all this pressure, I don't believe in taking mind altering drugs so that is not an option for me but I need to do something about this stress before it affects my diabetes.

Sorry for the vent

[Liaah]

Hang in there, it will get better.

I am new to this whole BK process myself, so my knowledge is limited, but why did your landlord give you back your rent? Is he asking you to move?

Read this board and get as much info as you can. You can do searches on specific things that may apply to you. I can tell you, someone out there has been through the exact same thing as you. You are not alone. Sometimes just knowing that others are struggling just like you helps you feel better.

For me and my husband, we have good days and bad days. I try to think of it this way, in the next few years, I probably won't even remember most of what is going on now. Sinkingfast once said, "This is a business decision." Try to think of it that way. It's not the end of your life. Just a temporary set back. You will get through it, and most of all remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

[Granny]

I am sitting here in tears, the stress is just too much.
I just want to know how do you guys handle all this pressure, I don't believe in taking mind altering drugs so that is not an option for me but I need to do something about this stress before it affects my diabetes.

Sorry for the vent

First, vent anytime you feel the need, I certainly did early on.

I too had been under a lot of stress, which started long before the BK, but the BK was the icing on the cake for me. I finally went to the Dr about my anxiety because I knew that my moods and attitude was affecting everyone around me and it had been for years. I could never seem to relax, I had lost control of my finances when we filed and that ate at me even more. I was sleep deprived and had been for years. I would startle easily but couldn't concentrate on anything at the same time. I could see that I was affecting my grandchildren, which I have adopted. These kids were beginning to become neurotic. About 3 months after I filed, I went to the Dr for help.

I went back last week to the the Dr. for a refill of my medication and commented that I would like to re-create the euphoria I felt for 2 days when I first started taking the medicine. Her comment was my hormones must have really been out of wack. I don't believe she was referring to "female" hormones, but instead to the hormones that we all have that control mood, thoughts and emotions.

I'm not the only person on the forum who is being treated for anxiety, so maybe it's common with all the stress from BK. I understand your hesitancy in taking "mind altering" drugs because I won't take anything that is not available in a generic form because I don't feel that have been tested fully. But I would not even consider giving up my Buspar.

It has made a new person out of me. I am happy. I am relaxed. I can actually trust another person or at least let go of my need to be in control. I am patient. I sleep better and I have lost 10 pounds without even trying...all of it as belly fat, which is directly related to stress. I didn't think I was depressed when I was stressed, but looking back now, I see that my anxiety was causing me to be depressed. I didn't want and could not kill myself, but given an option, I'd have checked out of this life in a heart beat. I have felt that way for years...just wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear forever....now, I want to live another 20-30 years...there are things I haven't done yet that I still hope to do.

I'm not sure what you are defining as "mind altering" drugs, but if things are out of kilter, these drugs can make a world of difference. I don't think my medication has altered my mind, it just fixed it.

Good luck

Granny

[BassBoy]

freststart06,

What may help is trying to fous on the things that make you happy. Try keeping yourself busy, like a hobby you enjoy. Surround yourself with friends and family that are supportive. come here and vent all you want (LOL!). Do whatever, but try your best to keep your mind off of "it".

[freshstart06]

Thanks you guys but I guess I do feel alone. I know the kids know something is wrong. I have no idea why my landlord gave us back the money, he stated because he was closing his account and will will explain later. I guess, in my mind if I was going to close my account I would keep the money He has had the money for over a week now. I told my husband we should just use the money and find another home asap because something sounds fishy.

Using the term "mind altering drugs" was my dry humor. I was talking about "hard" drugs but it was a joke. anxiety are an option but I don't know it will affect my diabetes.

I know in a year this will be only a memory and things do work themselves out but sometimes this can be too much with the bills, pending lawsuit, not knowing what the heck is going on with our current living situation and the 4 kids that needs their mom.

[freshstart06]

I have to start feeling better because my 4 year daughter just gave me a hug and put our little kitten on my lap so I can feel better.

[alh]

Do you have a lease?

[freshstart06]

yes, we are renting

[familyof7]

But do you have a written lease?

[alh]

I accidentally cut off my post a minute ago.

Landlords don't typically try to force paying tenants out so that the property can be vacant for who knows how long, so that they can get a new tenant to find out that they tear up the place and don't pay, and they have to evict the new tenant and then start the whole process over again.

I think you should be fine. I know it is hard not to stress.

[familyof7]

Did he return all of the money you gave him or just a portion i would just hold the money just in case he asks for it or you need it to move keep us posted
trust me I know the stress I have 5 kids 2 have special needs I lost a child in 2005 did not even have enough money to burry him so I had him cremated I myself have lupus and suffered kidney failure due to it we make 15,000.00 per year and we also get 1200 per month ssi so I know it is hard we filed pro se because we are so BROKE we actually were successful in getting our filing fee waived at the court I know it is hard but God has brought us through and he can you too and always rember that as bad as it is for you someone else is worse off as bad as the struggle in my life is when I see someone worse than me I thank God for what I do have keep your head up and keep your faith

[freshstart06]

We were behind but we but we caught up and he gave us back our money. He just emailed me and told me that he needs to consult with is lawyer so he can protect himself, he knows we what we are going thru but he wants to make sure he is taken care of as well. He owns other properties and I am sure he may be having problems with at least one other tenent.

[alh]

And that makes sense on his end. He probably want to be sure that he isn't forced to have someone live in the property rent free for an extended period of time, or that he isn't doing something illegal by collecting rent from someone in BK. (neither of which is true)

[freshstart06]

Familyof7, I pray and pray and I thought I let go. I wonder why do we go through this. When I had my detached retina and my husband lost his job because he had to take off to take care of the family, I had to close loans and I could barely see. We work hard as a family. if I had to face God today I have nothing to be ashamed of. I see people like Paris Hilton and they do nothing but party all day and night and need for nothing. I know I sound terrible but I just don't understand. Filing BK at first seem like we failed but now we have no other choice. I know we will get a fresh start but right now I am just in pain.

I was going back and forth about moving but I guess this is a sign, I have to live in a single level anyhow because of my fractured feet and ankle. I know things happen for a reason, I just wish it would just get better.

I have already lost 10lbs and I am already a small person.

[Liaah]

I have already lost 10lbs and I am already a small person.

Well see I am envious of you already. I have gained 10lbs and I am not a small person We each deal with stress in different ways.

I know it's hard now, but just remember God is in control. Just stay strong and I promise one day you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. Try to keep your joy. Don't let this steal it from you. You have your family, all is not lost.

Try not to worry about something that hasn't even happened yet. It will do you no good.

Just keep praying and trusting God, He loves you and He hears you.