He hid Ch 13 from me

[hhou812hh]

I know you guys think bankruptcy isn't a bad thing, but this guy lied to his girlfriend of a year. Who cares what large life-altering event it was?

He lied.

Gee, he felt bad, embarrassed. Who cares? We're adults. We don't look people we love in the face and lie. I don't care what it's about. It's wrong.

The reason he's filing for bankruptcy would be important to know. If he has medical problems, that's one thing. If he bought a Porche and ate out at restaurants every night, that's another. Financial irresponsibility is not a trait one should seek out in a mate.

These guys aren't married. They have no permanent commitment. A year is long time to spend together, but it's not that long. When you're about to get serious, that's when you swap credit reports, blood test results, and back ground checks. This guy's already got one strike against him.

I'm not surprised the OP never came back. I'm sure she realized she came to the wrong place for relationship advice. Hearing that she's the bad person for finding papers and that his filing bankruptcy is somehow good for their relationship was probably too much ridiculousness to deal with.

Lightning, you should write a book on all your advice to humanity. Maybe you can be another Tony Robbins.

[babycakes]

Lightning, I totally agree. I don't care how she found out this info. The fact he lied about it was the final straw. And she shouldn't have been given crap because she found it on his desk, who's to say that she wasn't legitimately looking for a pen or a notepad or a stamp to mail off a bill of their's or something. If he's going to lie about this, then who knows what else he is already lying about and will in the future. If I date someone for a year, I expect the truth when I ask a question. I don't want games. She needs to move on and find someone honest even if they are broke. I would much rather have an honest, broke person than a rich, lying cheat.

[cpginvegas]

He lied to me

You are all so correct when you say he lied to her and that was wrong. She also invaded his privacy (don't tell me she just "accidentally" saw and read his personal bankruptcy mail from his attorney) and that is also wrong. He did not trust her to support him in his problem (and my hasn't she been supportive!!!) and she did not trust him enough not to snoop through his personal items. Has anyone else noticed that she became a member eight months ago but this is her first post??? What is up with that?? If she just found out about his bankruptcy why was she on this sight 8 months ago? Something just does not make a lot of sense here. The one thing I know is that if you do not have trust in a relationship you do not have a relationship!!

[kelvinjai]

Since you know he is under Ch13.. did you ask him why? And did you ask him will he learn from this mistake? I guess we should focus on these two questions instead of arguing did he lie to you or how did you find it out

[Minnymouth]

Since when did "girlfriends" or "boyfriends" decide a person's financial business??
Sooooo, they've known each other a year - big deal.....Doesn't mean his business is her business!!!!!

SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S A SNOOP-DOG............... How convenient - she just "found them"......DUH........what was she looking for?????

Just because you DATE someone, doesn't mean you want to MARRY SOMEONE.... and LOVE has nothing to do with it sometimes.... some relationships are for CONVENIENCE ONLY!!

His filing BK is his business, should they get engaged or marry, ONLY THEN does it become her business!!!!

Let a man I just date stick "his nose" in my business and see what "happens"...... My financial affairs are none of his business....

More than likely he is trying to clean up his financial affairs before he approaches her regarding any future commitment he might make. Proud of him.....

Let him tend to his "own" business, it really doesn't concern her YET........

The fact that she "snooped and read his mail" is not a good thing... Him lying to her was a bad mistake.....
All he had to do was say - that is something that doesn't concern you!!!

Both of them need to improve to have any "sound" relationship.....

My opinion,

Minny

[Minnymouth]

Evidently since she has been a "member on the forum" since Feb of 2005 and this is her FIRST POSTING???? What HAS she been looking for - his postings???

Sounds like she not only snoops in his desk but also snoops around on his pc too, to see what sites he visits and WHY???

HAS NOSE TROUBLE............. evidently been snooping almost their entire relationship, huh!!!! DUH..

Minny

[Minnymouth]

We may not be "marriage counselors" on this site, BUT WE SURE KNOW A SNOOP when we see one...............

Minny

[hhou812hh]

Evidently since she has been a "member on the forum" since Feb of 2005 and this is her FIRST POSTING???? What HAS she been looking for - his postings???

Sounds like she not only snoops in his desk but also snoops around on his pc too, to see what sites he visits and WHY???

HAS NOSE TROUBLE............. evidently been snooping almost their entire relationship, huh!!!! DUH..

Minny

All I can say->

[FloridaGirl]

^^^Me too! Here, here, Minny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Minnymouth]

AWWWWWWW FOLKS!!!!!

Well, I feel if the "shoe fits", put it on and "wear it"..........

And evidently that one is no

Minny

[nature]

Good people have to file bk sometimes..he probably loves u very much.

[Genenco]

Good people have to file bk sometimes..he probably loves u very much.

Nature? You're bored tonight?

This original was from 2/2005 the 3rd to last post was Sept...

But you're right...Good people have to declare BK...Even the bad ones...