Mom is moving in... I have a few questions???

[TheBajan]

Hi Everyone,

My mother has decided to move in with us. Currently, she lives in Texas with my sister but she isn't happy there. I had suggested that she come visit for a while later this year while my husband is deployed and I'm here by myself. She took that one step further and decided to move up here. She will be here in the next few weeks.

I have a few questions. She wants my husband to claim her as a dependent so she can be added to his insurance. She currently has Medicare (plans A through D). My main concern is how will claiming her as a dependent affect our BK13? She has her own income ($1100 a month SS) but will not be contributing to us in any way. We won't be charging rent or utilities or anything and whatever she does with her income is her business. However, I'm not sure that matters as far as the trustee is concerned. I am aware of the rules regarding claiming her as a dependent for tax purposes and I still have to calculate whether it's even something we can do.

My next question is about Medicare. I really don't know anything about it except that it's government insurance for the elderly. She's asking me to find out if moving up here (to Michigan) will change her medicare benefits and I really don't know where to start to find information for her. Any insight???

Her whole reason for wanting us to claim her as a dependent is to be on my husbands insurance. However, I'm not sure why it matters if she already has insurance. Can someone help me understand this?

Thanks much,

The Bajan

[tobee43]

hi there bajan....a new house mate. well, ok.

medicare ..we are fairly new to the concept ourselves my dh started about 1.5 years ago and it's awesome. i have a few plus few more years to wait to get on it. but i know about it because my dh has been so ill this past year and a half. medicare is accepted at almost any hospital in the country, as well as doctors, but that would be under her B which most people carry a supplement coverage, we do we have my husband on medicare and horizon bc/bs ppo. so what's not covered by medicare is picked up by the secondary insurance. we have used it in 3 states no problems whatsoever. the trick is make certain any primary or facility she uses accepts her secondary, that's key. why because while medicare is a blessing it doesn't cover everything. we actually still have office co pays ( years ago it wasn't that way) even with our secondary. so, you need to ask her about the secondary coverage.

part D covers the drugs, that again, we have a supplement so we just pay small co-pays it's going to depend on what and which "D" coverage she opted into. that's why she wants to get on your husbands insurance medicare usually covers on up to 80% its your secondary that picks up the rest .if she's on your husbands insurance that's a huge help if there is an extended illness. hope that helps a bit.

[TheBajan]

Well, that at least explains why she wants to be on our insurance. Any idea how this may affect our BK?

[keepsmiling]

I would think it might theoretically lower your payment, if you wanted to pursue that angle? Since SS is exempt?
Curious to hear the what the experts think.

[tobee43]

i know think so as well, but i wasn't a 13 so i'm not certain how that works, jb or lady may have a better take on that.

also some may have a better take on my describing medicare in less than 1000 million words or less.

[Pandora]

are you certain you can actually add her to your insurance? I've never heard of being able to add a parent to your health insurance policy. Children yes...to age 26 but they also already have to be ON your policy to start.

[ValleYum]

I would think it might theoretically lower your payment, if you wanted to pursue that angle? Since SS is exempt?
Curious to hear the what the experts think.

I thought SS was exempt on the means test but counted on your schedules I/J?? Ugh. I never can remember this.

Hopefully mom has her own bills and expenses to chip away at her SS income if it does have to be added. Bajan's expenses would go up on her schedule I (utilities, groceries, etc.) - maybe she could claim an over 65 medical expense well as any additional cost for insurance - but Bajan mentioned the word deployed...

Is hubby in the military, B?? If so, Tricare's website has an amazing FAQ section and your mom may want to tag onto your hubby's insurance for prescription purposes.

Date of Last Update: 3/4/2013 4:46:05 PM
Are dependent parents and parent-in-laws eligible for TRICARE?
No. Dependent parents and parent-in-laws aren't eligible for healthcare coverage through TRICARE. However, they may have prescriptions filled at the military treatment facility and when they become eligible for Medicare and Purchase Part B, they may have prescriptions filled at network pharmacies or via home delivery.

http://www.tricare.mil/faqs/question.aspx?ID=1212&page=0&search=parent&click=ibGo.X

I am interested to see what happens as far as your insurance and your BK - please keep us posted. Good luck with your new living situation.

[tobee43]

or valle and pandora

[LadyInTheRed]

My main concern is how will claiming her as a dependent affect our BK13? She has her own income ($1100 a month SS) but will not be contributing to us in any way. We won't be charging rent or utilities or anything and whatever she does with her income is her business. However, I'm not sure that matters as far as the trustee is concerned. I am aware of the rules regarding claiming her as a dependent for tax purposes and I still have to calculate whether it's even something we can do.

I don't think adding her as a dependent will be an issue in your Chap 13. If you submit copies of your tax returns to the trustee and the trustee notices, it will look like your expenses have increased (and they probably will). I doubt the trustee will ask you to lower payments. I think Pandora is right that SS is included on Schedule I. But if your mother is not contributing anything to the household, I don't think her income is relevant. If she contributed to rent, utilities, food or any other household expenses, it would be relevant if her contributions exceeded your increased expenses.

If you do decide to claim her as a dependent, I'd run it past your attorney to be sure.

[TheBajan]

Thanks for the replies. ValleYum... yes, hubby is in the military and from what I now understand, that's why she wants to be on his insurance. I spoke to our atty today and he said that as long as she isn't contributing financially, AND we don't claim her as a dependent, everything is fine. If we do claim her, that could rock the boat. Since my husbands deployment is only for 9 months, it doesn't seem worth raising flags with the trustee to claim her for such a short period of time.

Running the numbers per IRS rules, it doesn't appear we can claim her anyway. She has no bills other than her cell phone. We don't have cable TV and she wants us to get it. I told her that she could if she wants it but that we won't take on the payment for it. She's not very good with money and I am very leery of mixing money and family. I have seen it burn too many people. I'm perfectly happy to help anyone I can but I keep clear lines between what's mine, theirs, and who's responsible for what. With my mom, BOUNDARIES are very important.

Thanks again. I always appreciate you guys. Things have been pretty busy around my world lately and I haven't been posting much but I'm still here.

The Bajan

[AngelinaCat]

Hi Bajan. This might sound mean, but are you able to deal with having your Mother move in? Your last post said a lot: "With my mom, BOUNDARIES are very important."

How independent is she? How healthy is she? Is she capable of taking care of herself? Is she of an independent nature, or would you have to entertain her? Would she have an apartment or room of her own with it's own entrance? Or would she be going through YOUR home and living space? How domineering is she?

These are only a few of the questions that came to my mind when I first read this thread.

Both 'Hub and I had to deal with our mothers in their final years. 'Hub's mother was a domineering chatterbox that had to be the center of attention. Mine liked to remind me that I was the daughter, and SHE the MOTHER, as she descended into Alzheimer's. I was not married when I dealt with my mother, so my job and taking care of her, were my main responsibilities.

You have a family and a business. You and your husband need to think long and hard about this, and how it will impact your lives.

Good luck, and my prayers go with you.

[TheBajan]

AC....

Believe me, I know what you are saying. To answer a few of your questions... my mom is still fairly young (65 this past Feb) and in much better health than she thinks she is. She has never spent a day in her life being independent. Although, in her mind, she has. My mother has never taken care of herself and I am very aware that her expectations are that I will be there to entertain her, as well as being her maid, and generally just constantly affirming that she is loved. Yet with all that in mind, we have known for years that this day would eventually come. I feel the responsibility to care for my mother very deeply.

We built our home with a full apartment attached for the sole purpose of taking care of her. We've never used the apartment but it's finally going to serve it's intended purpose. The idea behind it wasn't to isolate her from us but rather to give her a place of her own because I am very aware that we all need that. I know I do. Her and I are very different people. I have two sisters who stayed close to her (geographically speaking). I was the one who put distance between us. My mother has a need to control. When I say this, I'm not talking about the normal mom control issues, I'm talking about someone who needs to control everyone within her environment. My sisters let that go on. I didn't. For that reason, I have been the 'lost sheep' of the family. Anyway, I digress.

The point I want to make is that I understand my mother. I know what she expects. I know what I'm willing to give. I know how to say no. I know which battles are worth fighting and which battles to stay out of. God willing, my mother still has many, many years left. She has spent the better part of her life with a victim mentality and I don't expect that to change. All I know for sure is that the only reason she is willing to come stay with me is that she has exhausted her welcome with everyone else.

With love and respect, I thank you for your prayers. I certainly need them.

[karm43]

I deal with insurance companies. Your husband cannot put her on his insurance. She has her own income, he can claim for instance private duty or if he was helping her pay her rent medical bills. Where I work medicare is number 1!!!!!! Your husbands insurance is not gonna take care of her like medicare. If this was possible don't you think everybody would be doing this? If she is paying too much she can look into hmo plans for the elderly. Again they are not gonna cover like medicare. Also hmo like to skimp on healthcare.

[karm43]

Oh medicare is the same everywhere. Its federal govt

[TheBajan]

Hi Karm,

Thanks for the input. We have already made the decision not to add her as a dependent. Just looking at the numbers, it was iffy for tax purposes. Our lawyer advised against it so it wouldn't raise flags in our 13, and it's for such a short duration that it wasn't worth the effort. I never even got as far as contacting Tri-Care about it.

Thanks again,
The Bajan