So mad I can't see straight.....!

[Billssuck]

We have completed our ch13 case and are in the audit process. The trustee sent out the letter stating the creditors have 30 days to dispute our discharge. Well....my brother-in-law is one of those creditors listed and he received the letter and he blackened out our names, scanned the form, put it on Facebook and said something to the matter that "this is what happens when you loan money to relatives."

About six months back, he would call us drunk at 2 a.m. complaining to us about the debt. Finally, we had enough and called our lawyer. His staff then called him and told him the consequences of his actions by breaking the automatic stay and he called one last time to say to "Keep the money, I'm done with you and all of this." Anyway, our plan all along (and we told him this) was that we would pay him back after we were discharged ($1,500) and we still plan to do that since that is what we said we would do. But...putting our letter on Facebook for all our other relatives/friends to see was horrible. I'm not a friend with him on Facebook since 6 months back, but my daughter is and she saw it. I asked her to go back in on his wall and to make a copy of that post/picture of the letter and he had already deleted it. Here in a few weeks when we're discharged, he may post the discharge form and I think it will be too late to sue him for damages under the automatic stay since we're discharged. Ooh...I'm so livid right now.

Anyone have any advice what they would do in this situation? Thanks!

[df04527]

I would let it go. You can't stop him unless you want to persue legal action but i think that would make things worse. Just let it go and pay him back like you said you would. He will probably feel like an arse. Do not let what others do and say affect you. Hold your head up high and give him his money when you are done.

[angel7821]

I think that is just horrible that someone would do something like that. If it were me I would pay the guy back and probably never speak to him again. I am sure you are very hurt by his actions. But some people enjoy treating others badly cause it makes them feel good about themselves for some reason. Hold your head up high cause you have done nothing wrong.

[Pandora]

I have a different spin on this: I'd tell him to pound sand and hard, at this point. Let him wallow in that for a bit for being such an asshat; you dont owe him a damn thing.

[Billssuck]

Thanks everyone...I have thought and felt what each of you replied with. Right now I plan on paying him back as we promised and to not have anything to do with him in the future. My husband will have to decide for himself if he wants a relationship with him in the future.

[keepsmiling]

Karma has a way of coming around. Hang in there.

[wantout]

If its a discharged debt, why pay him back? Ya I know its " the right thing to do" or "he is family" but you see what he is doing now? If it were me, I would go on about my way, not pay him back and get my life started over again.

[davetedge]

At the end of the day, I would pay him back...
...but since it's not day's end yet, I'd have fun thinking about things I could do with the $1500 like donating to a charity in his name, or pay him back with a 5-yr CD with a massive early withdrawal penalty, or if he happens to owe money to someone else paying his debt for him.

[159515951]

Obviously his reaction wasn't good, but I can at least understand why he's upset. I think there is a different set of expectations attached to money borrowed from family. This is why I would never even consider borrowing money from a family member...too many things can go wrong.

[Anne2012]

At the end of the day, I would pay him back...
...but since it's not day's end yet, I'd have fun thinking about things I could do with the $1500 like donating to a charity in his name, or pay him back with a 5-yr CD with a massive early withdrawal penalty, or if he happens to owe money to someone else paying his debt for him.

I'm all for paying the guy back. This sounds like a great way to do it! ;>

[ksgirl38]

I think I'd pay him back, as quickly as possible, only because he's family and I could see how that would cause a huge amount of stress in the family.

[tobee43]

we have a rule in this house....if you lend a relative money, never look at it as a loan.

give with warm hands and not a cold heart. we never borrowed money from any one relative until we purchased this house after our bk. we paid the amount back within 4 months. on the other side of the coin, we have lent relatives money which we have never seen back and been promised payment, and have never seen a dime of it back. i harbor no ill feelings, and actually it was my spouses sister and their thoughts were NO NEVER , i will never lend money to them. whereas, we have the money and they need the help, it will come back to us one day 10 fold.

do you owe this jerk the money?...nope of course not legally, and after what he did i would wholeheartedly agree with pandora on this one. have him go pound salt!

[Billssuck]

Thanks everyone! Well we are sticking to paying him back and never having anything to do with him in the future...can't believe this will not haunt us further in the future with him and so we have to stay away from him for that reason. He's a mean drunk who doesn't let things go....EVER! But let me say, I am thinking about some creative ways to repay him now like davetedge replied with above...thanks for making me laugh and putting some humor into this situation. Maybe $1,500 worth of Facebook shares since he likes that site so much! Or send him a $1,500 gift certificate to a shrink. Now this is fun....

[goon]

So I wonder how much extra it would cost to have 150,000 pennies delivered to him.

[keepsmiling]

So I wonder how much extra it would cost to have 150,000 pennies delivered to him.

LOVE IT! you can ask the folks at MIT
btw this is very cool. I would love to do it if I had the patience and the knees.

http://www.pressherald.com/life/homeandgarden/cents-and-sensibility_2011-04-17.html