Does this feeling ever go away?

[angel7821]

Most of the time I am ok but some days I just get this horrible knot in my stomach and feel overcome with the thought that something is going to go wrong and get my case dismissed. Like the car is going to break down and I will have a huge repair bill or I will get sick and can't work. Losing my job is on my mind all the time.

So does it ever get any easier? I try to remain relaxed but some days it is just so hard. I feel like I am going to get an ulcer over this bankruptcy. I am in a 36 month plan. Have made 9 payments and have 27 more to go until I am free.

[Flamingo]

What you are feeling is totally normal. I was so stressed in the months prior to and after filing our Chapter 13 I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown trying to handle everything. You finally figure out it is not the end of the world and things do get better...Filing bankruptcy is a life event and life events bring on major changes that many just cannot handle. Go see your family doctor, advise him/her you are having bad financial issues and it is affecting your life. Whether you know it or not, you are probably suffering from depression due to all this.

[espo1357]

Most of the time I am ok but some days I just get this horrible knot in my stomach and feel overcome with the thought that something is going to go wrong and get my case dismissed. Like the car is going to break down and I will have a huge repair bill or I will get sick and can't work. Losing my job is on my mind all the time.

So does it ever get any easier? I try to remain relaxed but some days it is just so hard. I feel like I am going to get an ulcer over this bankruptcy. I am in a 36 month plan. Have made 9 payments and have 27 more to go until I am free.

The feeling does not go away for me.

I am confident that I will make it through (I am also very forunate to have a great support system with the best parents in the world, etc).

However, I will not really be able to "rest" until this thing is discharged.

That's just part of the deal. We are human, right?

Anyway, just hang in there. It will be over soon. And I expect you will come out of this much better and smarter.

good luck!

[clevelandmom]

Dear Angel,

I don't know you and you don't know me - but you are in my prayers. You are soooooo not alone. I have good moments, and really bad "nervous, ulcer inducing" moments too. I keep thinking things like, "NEXT year, at Christmas time, this will be over." Or. . . "EVENTUALLY, the noose will be gone from around my neck." It's hard to sleep, sometimes hard to eat, I'm a nervous wreck, but nothing lasts forever - good AND bad. This too shall pass my friend. There are so many people in our country going through this right now - and it's getting to the point where I bet everyone knows at least SOMEONE who has had to go through this now. I do think that we are going to be ahead of the game because we are going through this now and taking the steps NOW to clean up our financial health.

Speaking of which - I will share with you my analogy: Our finances were getting sicker and sicker and finally we had to admit ourselves into the hospital (aka Bankruptcy Court). It's going to be scary because there are complete strangers in there who are going to poke and prod us and strip us naked to find out what's going on. The doctor (aka Judge) is going to make his final diagnosis and give us our plan for treatment. When we get out of the hospital, we will feel soooooooo much better because our sickness will be gone. We will have scars for a little while to remind us of where we were but even those will eventually heal.

I hope this helps you. Keep your chin up, know that you are NOT alone (far from it), and try to remember it's just money. It comes and goes. . . you'll be ok. You are able to eat and sleep and be comfortable. Worrying is just something to do to pass the time while whatever is going to happen happens anyway. Just keep repeating the mantra - "this too shall pass." (((hugs)))

[angel7821]

Thanks everyone for your kind and encouraging words. It is just a scary place for me to be at in my life as I am sure you all understand that. It is just so very nerve wracking. I have lost 23 pounds over this already and I did not even need to lose any weight. I go for daily walks and think alot. Sometimes I just break down and cry saying to myself " What have I done I have ruined my life." But I think when it is all said and done and I get my discharge it will be the best thing I could have done for me.

I like the fact the collection calls have stopped. That was a very scary thing for me to go through as I had never been late in paying a bill in my entire life. But my income had been so drastically reduced I could not pay everyone what they were asking so I declared bankruptcy. I'm sure you all understand that part too.

I hope the next 27 months go by very quickly. Only 3 more payments and I will have a whole year done already. That makes me feel good. I have to admit the first year will have gone by so fast. It seems like yesterday I walked into the lawyers office to get this thing started.

Best wishes to everyone going through this. I can not wait until I get to have my "discharge" party. That will be the best day of my life.

[minan]

I feel the same way. I filed in July, 341 was not completed and rescheduled to Jan. Which basically means I may not get confirmed until almost a year after filing. I am a nervous wreck and the 13 is on my mind daily. A day doesn't go by that I'm not worried something will go wrong, i.e., trustee will have issues, won't get confirmed, will get dismissed, etc... For a little while I did think I was getting used to it. However last night I woke up at 2am and started looking for a 2nd job part-time job. I have the same worries like you.

Instead of feeling relief that I filed and have the automatic stay protection (no more harassing phone calls - I used to get up to 40 a day after only being 30 days late), I feel more stress. I had no choice because I have priority debt (IRS/State) that i have to pay back. I'm on the 5 year plan - 3 payments made, 57 months left to go.

I live alone with my dogs, parents don't know. Some friends know but they have their own lives and I don't want to stress them out with my burdens. So I'm very lonely and scared on my own. You're not alone.

[Peeps]

Being really new to this, I don't know if it goes away. But at least I know that stomach knot you're talking about. I bet it DOES go away at some point, but it might take a while.

Hang in there. This is a good place with good people who know just what you're feeling because they've either BEEN there or currently ARE there. But hey, you're 9-down... that's 1/4 complete... sounds pretty exciting to me! You deserve a solid pat on the back and a happy "congratulations on 25%!" It's a nice accomplishment so I hope you take a few moments to feel proud about how much progress you've made. It might even help that knot.

[NowImDownInIt]

In my experience, after 28 months, it has become less severe and less often but has never gone away. The knot in my stomach has loosened and I have become cautiously optimistic again but I still feel winded whenever I see my department leads in a conference room with frowns on their faces. We had 9 people laid off in July. I had a panic attack and wasn't even among those let go. However, I was laid off less than 4 months after filing and I can say with some certainty that it won't be the end of the world even if that happens. You can pick it back up.. It doesn't ever get easy, but it definitely gets easier (often when you're not looking).

Sometimes I just break down and cry saying to myself " What have I done I have ruined my life." But I think when it is all said and done and I get my discharge it will be the best thing I could have done for me.

This still happens to me in the car from time to time, when I am alone and in traffic and have too much time to dwell on the mistakes that I've made. Sometimes it makes me feel a little better. Sometimes it doesn't.

You are in a really good spot with a 36 month plan. It gives you more leeway than most. If something happens you can talk to your trustee and you can miss a month and have it tacked on to the end. In a 60 month plan, that can't happen.

[enginegirl]

I'm glad I am not the only one feeling this way....
OP thanks for putting up this post.. just reading everyone's responses makes me feel that I am not going crazy.... this too will pass.....

[TShoot]

Been feeling that way a year prior to filing (knowing my financial situation was going downhill with no way out) and 3 payments into my 60 month plan - still not yet confirmed. I *THINK* I will feel better once I am confirmed and have a better feeling how we can handle the payments. The worst part is the uncertainty of it all and the long 5 years we have to stay in the plan until we are discharged. I *KNOW* it was the right thing for us to do but can only hope we can manage any curve balls life and the Trustee decide to throw at us. It really has caused me to have a hightened state of anxiety almost all of the time. If I am really busy at work, than I tend to forget. But, everytime I get a letter from the Trustee or my lawyer, my chest feels like there are cinder blocks on it or someone has their knuckle dug into the center of my chest. Still, this is better than the foreclosure I was facing and the constant calls from creditors. I truly believe it *WILL* get better.

[NoTomatoCan]

I am probably in the minority, but I don't even think twice about it. In fact, except for no longer dealing with the multiple credit card and 2nd mortgage payments (replaced by a single trustee payment taken out monthly from my checking account) there hasn't been much of a change. We lived cash only for about 6 months leading up to our filing, so we made that adjustment a while ago. As for feelings of stress, panic or remorse - not at all. It has been one of the best business decisions we have ever made, and I look at it just like that - a business decision. Nothing personal. Not a reflection of whether my wife and I are good people. Not a 5 year prison sentence. Just a business decision.

This isn't to say that I didn't read every single CH13 post on this forum for almost a year (I did. Literally read every CH13 post from about November 2009 - September 2010). I obsessed over how to get confirmed with the best possible plan. Read everything I possibly could. Communicated regularly with our attorney on strategy from filing separate cases to avoid unsecured debt limit to ensuring we could keep both our 401k contributions and loan payments in our plan. Checked PACER wayyyyy too frequently!

But once we were confirmed, all that stopped. I barely even think about BK. I don't think about how I am going to deal with an unexpected emergency today any more than I did a year ago (pre BK). Could something unexpected happen and totally blow up our plan and throw us off course? Sure. But that could have happened before we filed as well.

Everyone handles the stress of BK differently though. My wife was more emotional about the situation than I was, but I have a business and legal background and could better rationalize/compartimentalize the decision. Once she understood how much better off this would make us, she was totally on board and never looked back.

[jetsfan2010]

I think the stress of potential foreclosure, repo of a car, garnishment, liens and harassing phone calls daily was more impactful on me than filing and upcoming 341.

[minan]

TShoot: I am the same way. If I'm busy at work, then I'm fine. However the minute I get an email from lawyer (even if it's nothing bad) or anything related to the 13, I go into a tailspin. The littlest thing related to the 13 causes me to have anxiety, sleepless nights, etc... Like you I have made 3 payments on a 60 month plan and still not confirmed. I live in constant fear of the Trustee and what he may do. I have priority debt so I have no other option at this point and it was the right decision for me, however I don't like the Trustee. He threw me for a loop at my 341 (then postponed it) which has caused me nightmares that he will find cause to dismiss. My atty says not to worry, but I can't seem to do anything else. I am convinced the Trustee is only after more money and doesn't care about me or basic living costs so I am always stressed. Although I have been honest and my atty is great, in my mind the Trustee has all this power which includes the power to ruin my life if he doesn't confirm my plan. I know it's my imagination, but I don't know else to feel better about thing.

[jessep]

I'm on the 5 year plan and 1/2 way done...the feeling never goes away. I feel stuck and that my life is on hold. ch 13 is a major life event! but there is a light at the end and it's not a train. i have recently changed the way i feel about debt, money and things and now have a life plan that will work and has worked for others. A plan has helped me feel better, but the chapter 13 cloud is always there. The plan is the Dave Ramsey plan. Listen to him, he makes sense. buy the total money make over book or audio book, it's awesome--it's inexpensive and worth every word in gold. I have a budget that works (makes me feel so in control) and working to save $1000 emergency fund, after that I plan to make whatever payments I can to my student loans. I just hope that the trustee doesn't see this as extra income and asks to bump in my plan. if that happens, i'll just wait until after the ch 13 is over. But having a plan makes a BIG difference.