New here and scared!

[jane taylor]

Hi!

I've visited this forum before, but didn't start a thread of my own. Right now I am exhausted and scared to death! After 11 hospitalizations among my family of 4 in 17 years, three job losses, and yes, some foolish spending, my husband and I are filing Chapter 13. We have a great lawyer, recommended by a friend who is a lawyer and another who is a Chapter 7 trustee. We are set to officially file on 2/28/2006. I'm scared because I have a big mortgage payment, two teenagers, and my husband may or may not have to have surgery in the next year. The past year or so we've really worked hard at our budget, but there was just no way out. Over $50,000 of debt, mostly credit cards and medical bills. Like many others, we've had to live off credit cards.

What complicates this is the emotional hell my family of origin is putting me through. Because my name was on a couple of their accounts, I had no choice but to tell them. They wanted to "help us out", but we refused. They've always been there to "help", but with emotional interest. The anxiety level was just too much. I'm currently on meds for depression and anxiety and am better. My brother is very self-righteous and judgemental. It's worse because we all live in the same town.

Basically, what can we expect in the next few months? My mind is racing with so much info!! My lawyer apparently has a good relationship with both trustees (or do they all say that?).

Thanks. Sorry this is so long.

[SinkingFast]

Just keep in mind, when you hear them (not listen to them) talk to you about how you are doing the wrong thing,......... You have got to do what is right for you and your family. You have got to look out for your own interests first. Do what's right for your kids.

This is about you. What works for you. Not your family and what they think you should or should not do.

We've all been in your boat. You probably beat yourself up enough to last several lifetimes before you came to the realization that you simply HAD NO OTHER CHOICE.

Don't look back. Just move forward. Chin up. Chest out.

[Minnymouth]

Filing bankruptcy was a hard decision for all of us to make..... For many - the ONLY WAY to solve the financial problems...

Quit beating yourself up, it will only depress your and cause you a lot of unnecessary stress.... As you probably already are aware of I hear....

Sometime family members mean well but are quite often VERY QUICK TO CRITICIZE.....

You do whatever it takes to solve the problem for you and your family.... YOU HAVE DEALT WITH IT LONG ENOUGH...
Time for some relief........

Contact your lawyer, discuss options open to you. Possibly you might qualify for a Chapter 7 and be able to wipe the slate clean, yet maintain your home...

If your income puts you into a Chapter 13, at least you KNOW what you will be putting out in payments each month, and it will keep the creditors off your back and out of court..... they have to accept what the court gives them..

Talk to your attorney, discuss your past history of financial problems also.....

Possibly your case would be considered as a "hardship case" and go directly into a Chapter 7 if your lawyer and Trustee know all the circumstances involved.

Get back with us, let us know what your attorney says....

We will support you in anyway we can... We are here for you if your want to vent - just chat - or have questions about bankruptcy that you don't fully understand.

Lean on us and we all will help you thru this..... we have been where you are and have come full circle.

And YES - THERE IS LIFE AFTER BANKRUPTCY..... the relief of it all is FANTASTIC.......... you will see...

[jane taylor]

Thank you for the encouragement!

Thank you so much for the support and encouragement. It means so much. I'm more than ready to live the way God wants me to live--abundantly!

I'll ask my lawyer about Chapter 7 for hardship. Another question--should we try to sell our house and get into something less expensive. We can afford our mortgage if we file, but I know filing will really mess up our credit. Right now we're both at about 586 for credit scores. We really want to save our home as it is the only home our teenage children have known. We have committed to and have already demonstrated over the last 8 months that we can live within a very strict budget. (None of us have missed anything!) I suppose we have to decide what is the lesser of the evils!

Peace on your day!

[Minnymouth]

You need to contact your attorney, see what equity you might have in your home and what assets you might have that the Trustee can go after.

Just because you consult an attorney, doesn't mean you have to file just yet..... but a free consultation will really tell you a lot about what your up against.... what you can retain, what you might loose....which every Chapter you do.....

If you want to maintain your home be sure your Attorney knows this upfront. During the bankruptcy process your cannot sell or buy a home unless the Trustee approves it... so best to hang onto your home till after discharge and case closed. Then sell if you want too...

This is good support forum...............they understand your fears, questions, pain, worries etc... We have all been there.............. And yes, we have even found "humor" in the bankruptcy process............

Many would like to choke their attorneys, and shoot the Trustee..... but life does go on....

Discuss your issues with your attorney and let us know what he says..... we may be able to answer other questions, or add some input to his.......

Welcome to our "Forum Family "......

[jane taylor]

so much to consider!

Wasn't able to get in touch with my attorney today or the paralegal. We don't have any equity in our home after refinancing last year so we are okay there.

I guess what worries me the most is whether or not we will ever be able to get credit again--not that we want credit cards just to use, but our son is going to college in a couple of years and I also think about emergencies such as car repairs, major illness, etc. I wonder if I've "learned my lesson" too late and that makes me sad. I know that God does work miracles and that He does forgive and provide for us. This has been a test of my faith for sure!

Thanks for making me feel welcome and God bless!

[SinkingFast]

Equity in a home can be a tricky issue. If you offer a voluntary Deed in Lieu, and there's a scrap of equity, other creditors will jump on that like sharks in a feeding frenzy. The unsecured creditos will claim the mortgage lender received preferential treatment because the lender received money the other creditors did not have access to for distribution. Just something you need to be aware of.

I know moving kids is hard. We've just done it ourselves. Not just to another neighborhood. We moved to another state 600 miles from what our kids consider "home". It's tough at first, but they do adjust.

Maybe selling your house, or offering DIL is an option for you. It will free you from the burden of the house that could be the driving force behind all your other debt. And you can find someplace less expensive to live, even if temporarily, to help cut expenses and get some financial stablility.

[KeepHopeAlive]

Jane Taylor:

I noticed you mentioned God in your posts, and it also sounds like you are feeling a bit guilty, or some negative peer pressure from others about filing BK. Actually, the BK law stems from the Bible, in that debts were cancelled in Biblical times every 7 years for those unable to repay. This also probably is why in our BK law, you can only file Chp 7 BK once every 7 years.

As has already been stated, most of us here have experienced some hardship that led to us filing BK. Even foolish spending becomes and creates hardships when it gets out of control and affects important areas of our lives. So even thought filing BK is not your favorite option, at least you know that there is a Biblical basis for it... if you decide to go through with it.

As far as keeping your house, seek out legal counsel AND do your own research. On the surface, if you weren't filing BK, then I would simply encourage you to get a different house with a smaller payment to reduce the stress in your life. I am a firm believer of living below your means, especially if a larger house payment is contributing stress. However, if you file Chp 13 BK, you may be able to keep your current house and reduce your stress (i.e. from other bills) at the same time.

DON'T rely SOLELY on attorneys for advice. Please continue to do your own research... my attorney's lack of direction has caused me MUCH pain in the process so far... Check out the BK books published by Nolo on Chp 13 and Chp 7, if you haven't already (library, local bookstore, or online). Make sure you get the ones updated for the new laws.

[edwards2]

Jane - we are all sorry you having such a hard time. You have definitely come to the right place for support and BK experiences. We are non-judgemental given the obvious fact we have all been there, done that. Filing BK is stressful and embarrassing but fortunately, not terminal. As for your family...I can sure relate to that except for the fact I only told one brother whom I am close to. There is no way I would share anything with the others. They are judgemental and superior and would probably revel in our financial distress. How sad is that... I realized that long before I filed BK. The bottom line is though it is your family and your life and if they care about you they will do what they can to help and support you through this very difficult time. If not, the heck with them. You dont need their non-support. Good luck...and let us know how it is going..we are all pulling for you. This forum was my lifeline and it can be yours too...

[HRx]

Good Luck!! And dont hesitate to post more questions throughout the forum!

[jane taylor]

You guys are great!!

Thank you all for the wonderful encouragement! Unfortunately, my parents had to know because my name was on a couple of their accounts and I didn't want it to adversely effect them. It will take some time, but I honestly believe this was the only way for my family and my family of origin to heal. You are right; it is Biblical! I'm working through the guilt and realize that I cannot move forward by focusing on the past. My husband and I are doing great with our budget and it feels so good!!

I do have a question. How long will the BK stay on my record? Is it 7-10 years after discharge or after filing? The paralegal says 7 years after filing, but I'm not sure about that.

Thanks again for your kindness. It really helps!!

jane

[lilgoose]

Jane,

Good Evening....On my way out of here, I noticed your post and had to see what it was all about.

First of all, God will be there, just keep your faith. Mine is on the tetor-toter (probably get an F for sp) right now due to another serious situation (can be read about in the general section) that is going in a not-so-pretty direction.

We told our families and they said their peace, then we did what we had to do. They will come around.

It will be on your credit for up to 10 years. Just no way to get around it. Doesn't mean the end of the world. We let go of everything (filed ch7) but we reaffirmed our van. We did this so that we had a positive payment history starting from the filing date of the bk. I think that as long as you are not late on any bills, such as utilities, then you are moving in the right direction.

You will pay a higher interest on loans than you may be used to. That is the worst part of it all. If you really want to keep your house, look into reaffirming it. Something to think about.

The support here is wonderful. You can ask all the dumb questions you want and everyone will still answer them! I know, because I did!

We are all in the same boat and paddling against a very strong current, but we are here for each other. We are all ready to throw out those life preservers whenever some needs it!

[jane taylor]

thanks, lilgoose!

Hi Lilgoose:

Thanks for the words of comfort. My faith is getting stronger but only through the grace of God and wonderful people like y'all! For the past couple of days I've had a peace that I haven't experienced in a long time and I am so grateful. I will keep the questions coming; I'm sure I'll have them. Please keep writing; it helps so much.

Oh, and I'm a Southerner married to a wonderful Buckeye!

[SinkingFast]

Minny may be right. You may be able to get a 7.

The Means Test is not only a snap shot of income, it's also a snap shot of some specific actual expenses. There is a slot, on the Means Test to include average actual medical expenses. You've had a lot of medical problems that could be a huge off set to your average monthly income on the Means Test even if you are over the Median on Line 15.

If the equity in your home can be protected by your allowable Homestead Exemption, and you don't have much else in the way of assets you need to protect/that exemptions would cover for you, you may be able to go Ch 7.

[jane taylor]

meeting with attorney today

Hi!

Just thought I'd give you a quick update. My husband and I met with the attorney today. We don't qualify for a Chapter 7 because of our income and we don't have "enough" medical expense.

My husband says he feels so much relief now that we've done this and feels better than he did when we refinanced the house.

There are two trustees here. One is "grouchy" and one is "debtor friendly" according to our lawyer. Pray we get the "friendly" one!

Thanks again!

jane