My son a family live with me, how do I report only my expenses

[lookin4info]

My son, his wife and 4 children live with me and have been here for 3 + years. His employment has been sporadic (he lost his place to live because he lost his job) and very little contribution to expenses. (Part of why I am in this situation, preparing for Ch13, other is medical) I did claim 2 of my grandchildren on my taxes in 2009 which helps give back some, but it's not something I will be doing again.

I filled out my expenses, trying to estimate only what the portion would be for my husband and myself. I'm sure I will have to redo it to show what I have been paying totally since that is the amount that will appear on my bills. I'm afraid they will ask me how much I get toward expenses from my son and count that as income. I don't really mind that, and think I should, but I'm worried about saying they give me XXX $'s and then it doesn't happen. I will be short on the amount I'm allowed to live on and still have to pay the bills anyway.

I'm going to have to show them the bills and explain why they are so high, but will they believe me that I haven't received any help. Right now, my son is working, and is starting to put in some, but is still not consistant. Supporting 4 kids and a wife takes more than what he makes. She is hoping to get a part time job once school starts. She has tried that before, but has no job skills and was never able to find anything.

I take my paper work in 9/7, but I'm just wondering if this is something anyone has any experience in. Thanks!

[987654]

My $.02:

Yes you can claim the expenses, and you need to state the contributions your son is making as well. Obviously the additional expenses need to be documented (increased utilities because you have the additional people, increased food costs, etc.)

Now here is where I give my advice: If your son is working, then you need to ask for more contribution to the additional expenses of having him live with you. He's a grown man, and while I don't know what he's spending his money on currently, he can get off his duff and help you out! If they can't make it on his income then there is always social services to help with food stamps, housing allowance, etc. I can understand if he's making minimum wage and can't afford rent on a place that will suit him, his wife, and the four kids, but that is no excuse not to pay a reasonable amount towards your additional costs for having him live with you.

And that's probably what the trustee will tell you.

As far as your daughter in law not having any skills, well, it doesn't take much to flip burgers or be a cashier at Wal-Mart. That's life...money is money, and she can earn it if she is willing to. I am assuming that the kids are all old enough to be in school where she won't have child care for a part time job, or that you/your husband/your son can help babysit if she gets a night job, etc. She has no excuse.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but you've stated that them living with you is a reason that you are pushed into Bankruptcy in the first place. He needs to take responsibility for his situation, too. And I know this first hand, because I have a son who refuses to take responsibility for himself and I finally had to cut him off. Hardest thing in the world to do, but it was for his own good...

[momofthree]

I haven't dealt with this and I'm not an attorney, so I'm just going to include my 0.02 as to what is logical. It sounds to me, that in this situation, you'd include expenses for an 8-person family, and then include his income as it contributes to the household.

So, for example, if your son brings home $2000/mo and $800 of that is for his own debt payments and transportation expenses (non-household expenses), and he spends the remaining $1200 a month on feeding and clothing his family, then you would include his $1200 a month as contributing to the household.

Under your expenses, you'd list the IRS standards for a family of 8, which is $2419/mo for food/clothing/personal care/housekeeping supplies/misc.

Again, this is just what seems logical in combination with what I've read here on the forum. As always, consult an attorney.

[lookin4info]

Thanks for all the 2 cents worth, your input is more valuable to me than that! I love this forum and have found it very valuable. My son is trying harder, he has had back surgery twice and is facing another, has a lot of pain but is doing better on this new job since he doesn't have to lift, bend, and twist. This has kept him from working some jobs. He has lost a few due to back injuries and workman's comp won't pay because they say its an old injury, anyway, he gets caught in a
lot of red tape, no insurance doesn't help. I'm not making excuses for him, I know that for a long time, he could have excercised some different options. His wife did try McDonalds, (my son couldn't get a job there either and fast food experience!), Arby's, and several of the retail stores, but had no luck... We're looking into seeing if she can get something at a daycare ctr. so she can take the baby, and the preschooler after school. That would sure help us all out. Thanks again!

[momofthree]

Thanks for all the 2 cents worth, your input is more valuable to me than that! I love this forum and have found it very valuable. My son is trying harder, he has had back surgery twice and is facing another, has a lot of pain but is doing better on this new job since he doesn't have to lift, bend, and twist. This has kept him from working some jobs. He has lost a few due to back injuries and workman's comp won't pay because they say its an old injury, anyway, he gets caught in a
lot of red tape, no insurance doesn't help. I'm not making excuses for him, I know that for a long time, he could have excercised some different options. His wife did try McDonalds, (my son couldn't get a job there either and fast food experience!), Arby's, and several of the retail stores, but had no luck... We're looking into seeing if she can get something at a daycare ctr. so she can take the baby, and the preschooler after school. That would sure help us all out. Thanks again!

That is what I do, and it's been such a blessing! My oldest is in school, but my 2 youngest go with me at a discounted rate. I was able to "teach" the infant class so that I could be with my baby, who was only 4 months old when I started (She's since turned 2 and moved up into a separate preschool class). It's really the only way I can afford to work. Paying full price for childcare would have eaten up any wages that I'd earn anywhere else. Even discounted care takes half my salary, but at least I'm able to work.