Just venting....

[julsmom]

Some days....i just need to get rid of some stress....I just don't think I can take any more. Hubby's daughter, who has been the root cause of quite a few of our problems, checked herself into the mental hospital this weekend. Long story short, they keep her less than 48 hrs (basically stable & back out) but here is the thing...she has no where to go; I have stated that she cannot come back into our home, due to her refusal to do anything to help herself (i.e, finish school, get job, etc.) so they believe she may be bipolar, now discussing multiple personality, & she checked in for substance abuse. How in the world could do they do the disservice of letting her out? I pushed DH to fight back & ask those direct questions; nothing happened; they still released her. he wants to know where is he supposed to bring her? I have put my foot down that we could continue to help her in other ways but not in our home. It happened once for 6 months & was a complete disaster & I just cannot put my kids back through that again.

We can't stop fighting over her, add that to the stress of the BK, new baby, etc & I just do not think I can take any more. I think this is going to be the end of our marriage.

I even gave him that as his way out; take her & go, get an apartment & live with her. His concern is that of a safe home for her; he can provide that; i cannot. It is just a mess. I feel for the situation he is also in, but like I told him & our counselor, the mama gloves are on & I have to protect my kids too. Period.

I just don't know what to do. I am so stressed and can't seem to find a way to get this resolved.

[LadyInTheRed]

Sorry you are having such a hard time.

You are doing the right thing by acknowledging what you can and can't do for your step-daughter and focusing on protecting yourself and your children. I takes a lot of strength to do that and to suggest that your husband leave so he can take care of his daughter.

Hang in there! I'm sending big hugs your way!

[researchnerd]

I'm so sorry you're going through this, on top of a BK and a new baby. Thinking good thoughts for you!

Sounds like you need someplace for your DH's daughter that's in between an apartment and a psych hospital. Are there any residential treatment facilities that could help your DH's daughter? Even a supervised assisted-living sort of place might help.

[ColoradoBell]

You've certainly got a lot on your plate ...come here and vent as much as you like! Sending you hugs!

Hopefully, if your H does move into an apt with his D, it might actually serve to save your marriage. How will it affect the BK?

As for alternatives, what about the girl's mother, where is she in all of this?
And how old is the girl?

[Flamingo]

OK...
1. How old is this girl and, even if an adult, is she claimed as a dependent by either your husband or her mother (where is her mother?)

2. If she is not claimed as a dependent, is she employed and does she have heath insurance? Who provides for her if she has mental problems?

3. Any hospital upon discharge of any patient has counseling services available as to what should be done as to the patient and/or offer alternatives for possible care if there is no safe/comfortable place for the patient to go. Call the hospital and ask to speak to a counseler about the situation.

4. Look at the situation this way also...what if this was YOUR daughter and it was your your husband that refused to take in the girl. How would you feel? Step-relationships are difficult. Do you have children also from a former marriage or are the children from this relationship? Are any of your children half-siblings of this girl? If so there is a family bond there for her and it's a shame you have to go through all this.

I understand cause I had my hands full for over 10 years with a stepson who knew how to work his mother and me into a frenzy to get what he wanted in any way possible and is still that way at age 32. However I've learned to say "no" and hold my ground. It's difficult. I would get ahold of someone at the facility she is now at and find out what options are available since it is obvious the girl cannot stay with you without major complications and issues.

Best of luck to you...