being poor really sucks

[witeout]

I have to chime in here. I usually just lurk. We have 3 children.

We are 10 months into our 13 and it's TIGHT.
2 family members have major health issues, and 2 others have ongoing health needs.

Our one car is literally 14 years old.
I live every day in fear.

Our school just sprung mandatory unif*rms on us with no warning too. Knowing school is staring in a few weeks.

What's really scary is our teens will go to college midway of the 13.

We are in that stage where we are neglecting things to stay on budget, then the neglect bites us. Like home repairs or maintenance.....Not doing pest control and things like that can really hurt you over a 5 year period.

It really irritates me too to see the people around here who filed 7 and now have new sports cars, and spending $.
They seem so at peace........

[jmac]

This thread hit home because we have 3 children and I definitely worry about this happening once we file. We plan on filing next month or if we can hold out-then in Sept. The sooner we get it started, the sooner it'll be over, but at the same time the sooner we get it started, the sooner we'll be struggling to get by each month and that is very scarey with 3 kids to feed and take care of.
I'm so upset that some friends of ours are sitting happy and have money each month after filing chpter 7, yet we have to be sentenced to 5 years of financial strain because we don't qualify for 7 and have to file 13. Just doesn't seem right.
Sorry, I'm at a low point this evening

Thats was how i felt, my friends with huge debt did 7's and are starting over. I was with a sick wife that didnt get paid any money for over a year but was fighting for disability didnt do a 7 becuase it was the right thing to do ending of screwing myself, Im over it now I just trying to put myself in the best position before i file and move on with my life.

[jmac]

I left my home to my ex so all the home repairs and stuff will not be a issue for me..

I plan to get a new car soon and get the max allowance on that, and to eliminate costly car repairs in the future.

Not working any overtime to create a good look back and putting everything on my debt card so my lawyer can fight for bigger expenses the the maximum allowable on food and such.

My daughter who is 18 and just graduated high school will be taking a big hit since i can't help with college, but i got a her a car and pay child support which will help and also reduce my DMI.

Any other good tips to prepare?

[BKchapter13]

Be positive even in the darkest and most challenging of times.. it is hard at times but just like anyone one else going through a 13 we are all learning new and vital survival techniques. Those techniques we learn during the struggle such as saving enough to pay for everything with cash and NOT owe anyone for it is the icing on the cake, other things we learn is to be creative, well, at least I am actually reverting back to old days when we didnt have this and that and family is our gift and good health and everything we have we own outright. Getting back to the old fashion ways. I have to admit it was so so hard for me the first year but I knew the only way to get through it was to accept it, then work with what I had and not worry about what I didnt have and finally letting it go. I can suggest free things for kids, like librarys and they have free movies to rent, have a story time with popcorn or go to a park with a packed picnic. There is alot of free things to do and it will occupy you and your kids and make the bonds even closer with your family. Time passes and so will the time neccessary to finish your bankruptcy. Peace and love to all.

[mitupper]

While it is a struggle some months, other months are ok. It really just depends on what is going on that month and if something comes up we didn't expect or not. I think the key is to save the extra money on the "good" months, which is what we have trouble doing. I am learning though and I think that is a lot of the point in a chapter 13, learning to manage money better. I filed a chapter 7 years ago, and really quite honestly, learned nothing. It was wiped away clean, and I was home free to do all my mistakes all over again, and I did. So don't feel too jealous of those people who filed a chapter 7 and are now driving new cars and spending money. Down the road it will catch up with them again, just like it did for me and my spouse.
Even with the struggle and the money worries each month going through the chapter 13, it is still far less worry and struggle than I was going through before filing. I owed way more than I could pay every month, people were suing me left and right, garnishing wages (and they can take up to 25%!), threatening repo and foreclosure... It was a total nightmare. Now I have none of those horrible worries, only smaller worries of making it through each month on a smaller budget, but no worries of losing our home or cars, and paycheck through garnishments. It's awfully hard to feed the family with no house, and no paycheck if these creditors took everything. It would be a far worse situation for myself and my children. So, I am thankful and relieved, and even happy, that I filed the Chapter 13. Of course it's not all fun and games, and I do hate it too, but it's better than what I was going through before filing. Of course I still complain and feel depressed so I'm not on any high horse preaching at anyone about being happy and positive. Just rambling really.

[mermaids614]

Had a cushion (2 months living expenses saved), had to blow it all on car repairs and a huge medical bill. Now we are sweating it out until next Friday. Please tell me it gets better.

My son's bday was a few days ago and we literally had NOTHING to give him, thank goodness I had a cake mix in the pantry and family around or else his 7th bday would have been a complete disaster.

I know you are having a hard time, but be thankful you have a partner and you aren't raising your child alone. Also, you had an emergency fund. Most people don't have those and when the car breaks down, they can't get to work. I've been in both of those places. Try having negative funds in your checking account and knowing that when your direct deposit comes through, the bank is going to eat up 1/4 of your paycheck. I've been there. Things are far from great for me, but I try to keep in mind things could always be worse.

[flower04]

SheilaE-
Know totally what you mean. It is tough. Our kids don't know (they are younger) and one of them has special medical needs so it is doubly hard.

When I posted this thread, we had $50 to our name. Tomorrow is payday. We have $175 to our name now because I sold a few things on craigslist. We have had pantry meals the last few nights (not the healthies, but at least it is food!).

We had to decline an invite to go to a friend's cabin at the lake for this weekend (it is BURNING hot here!) because we knew it would cost us at least $100 in gas, not to mention food, etc. That was a killer. Thankfully, our kids dont know about it.

Hang in there, as will we and I have to belive that we will be STRONGER for this at the end.

[mhsaltz]

Getting beat up too

I sit here with $140 until next Friday. Now a little background.

My wife and I are two professionals who bring home good salaries. We filed Chapter 13 back in May and have only 59 more payments to go with a 341 meeting scheduled for August. We fell behind on our 1st and 2nd mortgages and had about 120K in unsecured debt. We have a house worth around 390K that is mortgaged to about 440K. We bought the house for around 319K,no money down. If you do the math, we went negative to the tune of $240K

I have a great deal of empathy for people who have had difficult circumstances such as job loss or medical bills.We brought our problems on ourselves. Too many good credit card offers and too little will power. We tried to be something that we were not. The credit card companies made it so easy and then your world caves in.

This is very humbling. Planning week to week who gets paid, who we will be late with, etc is very difficult and very sad. I have walked around with $.80 in my pocket since Tuesday and brought a PB and J sandwich to work with me today. My wife didn't drive her relatively fancy car for three days because we didn't have enough money for gas.

My advice to anyone who will listen. Live within your means. Use coupons. Buy stuff on sale. Start a rainy day fund. Buy what you need not what you want.

[momofthree]

My advice to anyone who will listen. Live within your means. Use coupons. Buy stuff on sale. Start a rainy day fund. Buy what you need not what you want.

YES! YES! YES!

[NoTomatoCan]

mhsaltz - great advice, and (not sure if it was intentional) but I LOVE the optimism contained in your statement "...have ONLY 59 more payments to go"!

That is a great way of looking at it!

[KAKRN97]

My advice to anyone who will listen. Live within your means. Use coupons. Buy stuff on sale. Start a rainy day fund. Buy what you need not what you want.

GREAT ADVICE!

I got myself into serious debt with buying what I WANT which is totally DIFFERENT from what I need!

[Billssuck]

I'm 13 months into my 36 month plan and it is still very hard and an eye opening experience.

My husband lost his job 5 months in to the plan and now makes $1,000 less per month than what he made when we initially filed. I have modified my 13 to surrender our home and am waiting on foreclosure. During these past few months without a mortgage payment, I have tried to save that amount each month for rental expenses and moving but low and behold, two cars broke down ($1,200 repair), lawn mower blew its engine ($800), and dental work that I had put off because we couldn't afford it is on the horizon. So I am very upset that I can't even now find a way to save what I know I need to for emergencies without paying our mortages. These last unexpected expenses have shown me that we REALLY couldn't afford our home and to let it go is the right thing. Now I just have to plan accordingly to rent. BTW: I have saved some money but not what I thought I could...

So...like someone else said...this is really how life is and how we should have been looking at money before we got into poor spending habits. It's a steep learning curve...you betcha!