Sticky question on ch 13 & possible separation?

[julsmom]

I know I have seen this discussed but this is a very sticky question...husband and I have had our share of problems & I was really hoping that things would get better. but I have to come to the realization that this just might not work out for us. He isn't sure he wants to continue the marriage. That being said, we have filed CH 13 as legally married & together, we have our 341 hearing the end of July ....now what the heck do I do? I have to make the first payment middle of July & I am thinking he might be looking to move out at the same freaking time. I don't want to lose everything I have paid to the atty & I have no idea what the heck he will say to all this. Do we go in with the 341 with this bombshell & change to filing as being separated; he would have to fund an apartment for his self; second set of household utilities, etc. in theory, it probably could even work out that way financially; as many rememebr he just got a new job with a huge payraise. i don't know if perhaps this could also be in some ways part of this change of heart, that he can now "afford" to do this on his own. I am heartbroken & sick that he would do this. But I am not going to continue to live in this living h#@ any longer so if that's the way he wants it, he can go. I was willing to go to marriage counseling & try to work through our many issues; after our first appt, he decided that it was 1 hour--all against him fest with two women downing him for everything he did. Wow...so because she wasn't right on his band wagon with his poor decisions, I must be somehow in with this therapist & against him. What a hand I have been dealt. I am so ready to be over all this. I cannot take the stress any longer.

[newbie2]

I know I have seen this discussed but this is a very sticky question...husband and I have had our share of problems & I was really hoping that things would get better. but I have to come to the realization that this just might not work out for us. He isn't sure he wants to continue the marriage. That being said, we have filed CH 13 as legally married & together, we have our 341 hearing the end of July ....now what the heck do I do? I have to make the first payment middle of July & I am thinking he might be looking to move out at the same freaking time. I don't want to lose everything I have paid to the atty & I have no idea what the heck he will say to all this. Do we go in with the 341 with this bombshell & change to filing as being separated; he would have to fund an apartment for his self; second set of household utilities, etc. in theory, it probably could even work out that way financially; as many rememebr he just got a new job with a huge payraise. i don't know if perhaps this could also be in some ways part of this change of heart, that he can now "afford" to do this on his own. I am heartbroken & sick that he would do this. But I am not going to continue to live in this living h#@ any longer so if that's the way he wants it, he can go. I was willing to go to marriage counseling & try to work through our many issues; after our first appt, he decided that it was 1 hour--all against him fest with two women downing him for everything he did. Wow...so because she wasn't right on his band wagon with his poor decisions, I must be somehow in with this therapist & against him. What a hand I have been dealt. I am so ready to be over all this. I cannot take the stress any longer.

What you really need to do is to sit down with your husband and insist he tells you his intentions: Walking or staying. Once you know what is going to take place, then you can call your attorney (if he is intent on leaving) and put a halt to this plan.

Right now you are in limbo, and that's not a good place to be.

[researchnerd]

I'm with newbie2; that stay-or-go limbo is torture (been there, done that) and your spouse needs to pick a direction and go in it.

I'd also suggest making an appt to sit down with your attorney ASAP and figure out what your options are either way. What are the ramifications of the Ch13 if you're on your own? Would you have to cancel and then re-file your case? Would you perhaps qualify for Ch7? Would he take some of the debt with him? Is it better to stay legally married until you get confirmed? Make choices that leave you dependent on your spouse as little as possible.