Frustrated - budgeting

[frustrated51]

I feel like such a failure when it comes to money anyway. I am smart and in my head I know just how to do it and how to make it work, but in real life I can never make it work. The reason is because I never having an emergecy fund. My goal last month was to get a fund started, but as soon as I have money in that account I end up needed it for something.

First BK payment was May 1. We did fine in May except for not being able to save any. Just had our second payment and here we sit with zero money until next Thursday. Because of gasoline in the vehicles that is going to be a problem. A combination of issues this week some my error and some the error of a company. The company credited my account, but unfortunately I had set up for automatic payments because I thought we had the bill figured out for a predictable amount.

So already in month 2 we are getting behind and I just want to give up although I don't even know how to do that.

Part of my disappointment was hoping for a night away for our 20th anniversary. Our kids are teenagers and we have never had a night away from the kids. Was hoping to save enough so we could spare a bit of it, but it really doesn't look like it is possible.

[newbie2]

I feel like such a failure when it comes to money anyway. I am smart and in my head I know just had to do it and how to make it work, but in real life I can never make it work. The reason is because I never having an emergecy fund. My goal last month was to get a fund started, but as soon as I have money in that account I end up needed it for something.

First BK payment was May 1. We did fine in May except for not being able to save any. Just had our second payment and here we sit with zero money until next Thursday. Because of gasoline in the vehicles that is going to be a problem. A combination of issues this week some my error and some the error of a company. The company credited my account, but unfortunately I had set up for automatic payments because I thought we had the bill figured out for a predictable amount.

So already in month 2 we are getting behind and I just want to give up although I don't even know how to do that.

Hang in there. A chapter 13 and budgeting is extremely tough in the beginning. Just make sure that you are certain about "needs" and not "wants".

As you are already experiencing falling behind on normal bills while in a 13 is stressful. As soon as you are able do start that savings AND try to pay your bills a bit in advance instead of right on the due dates.

Good luck!

[frustrated51]

Hang in there. A chapter 13 and budgeting is extremely tough in the beginning. Just make sure that you are certain about "needs" and not "wants". Good luck!

I know the savings is exactly the problem. I knew it was going to be tough, but I was pretty happy to have the payment out automatically. I have been used to having a large amount at the beginning of the month and doing our purchasing to get us through the month and that doesn't work anymore which means no more Costco because it is too expensive.

But how do we get to work and kids to school in the next week is my concern at the moment. I hate not having a penny in my pocket and I can't go back and change last month's decisions if there were any I could change (like check that bill before they did the automatic.)

I see the savings part as very difficult because there is always a bill and I already know there is a "unexpected" $200 medical bill from last month that will be showing up at any time and that will take care of the savings I had hoped for in June.

I feel very stuck with no hope. We have teenagers not old enough to work and we live in a very rural area so we use more gasoline that they allowed for. We also tend to spend more on food which is something I can work on when I am feeling good, but when I am feeling like we are in the same spot no matter what I do and I don't really have any options I don't have the energy to deal with it. Stress wipes me out pretty quickly.

[ShooFly]

Hi Frustrated... I'm about to finally file my 13 after 33, yes 33 months of no mortgage payments, and I fear the very thing you are talking about. I was unemployed for almost 2 years and only working temp jobs... which would not allow me to finalize. But I've had a permanent job for 5 months now and it's time to finish this and face the trustee. I've always been a spender too. I did very well for 40 years budgeting everything and creating excelllent credit, only to end up here. I have about $3000 saved and I know that will go quickly. People get accustomed to living a certiain way. Like... I only have 1 molar in my mouth (soft teeth!) so I have to eat ribeye or filet if I want a steak, otherwise I can't chew it! So, it looks like I won't get another steak for 5 years . I have more dental work to do too... not sure how that's going to happen either. My A/C is acting up. STRESS! I'm really nervous and wondering if I should just walk away from my home that I love dearly and want to keep.

Are there any 13-ers here that have been paying the trustee for several months? How's it going? On a scale of 1-10?

Also... how do you pay the trustee? Can they take biweekly drafts right out of your account or do we have to send monthly payments?

Thanks all, I was happy to find a place to talk about it.

[momofthree]

Are there any 13-ers here that have been paying the trustee for several months? How's it going? On a scale of 1-10?

We are on month 4. So far, so good. I think it's easier than many people make it out to be. It certainly doesn't feel like "debtor's prison." Is it more difficult than filing a 7 and getting a completely clean slate in 4-6 months--yes, definitely. But it definitely teaches you to live within your means--something that a 7 doesn't always accomplish....

Edited to add: I'd give it an 8 or 9.

[sheilaE]

We have yet to file, but it's coming quickly. Some weeks I feel great about it, then I read something on here and it terrifies me. I read more about people struggling to make that payment then people making ends meet just fine. Each payment plan is different, so it's hard to get a feel for what it'll be like. I'm trying to prepare for the worse yet hoping for the best.

[frustrated51]

Our trustee requires the payment be taken out of a paycheck. It takes 4/5th of my spouse's check. I like that I really only have living expenses to pay. It simplifies bill paying, but it also takes away from flexibility and what gets paid when. We have no big paycheck anymore instead we have the part-time small ones which means insteading of paying all the living expenses at the beginning of the month, I have to figure out which paycheck should pay them. To make it more complicated those little checks sometimes skip a check or two and the biggest one only pays once every 2 month. We also need to increase our withholding which is going to make things a bit worse.

If you have regular checks and they are taking your payment, I imagine it isn't probably quite as stressful because you don't have skipped weeks here and there.

[Flamingo]

The lifestyle change and other changes brought about by a Chapter 13 are the most difficult for most people to face and deal with. Most people are creatures of habit and hate change. A Chapter 13 forces you to budget and for years on this forum I have stated that a Chapter 13 is the best budget teacher after going through one myself. It forces people to learn to budget - if they cannot learn or change to do that, they flounder, miss payments, etc. and end up having the 13 dismissed which is the worst that could occur. You need to cut to the bare bone as hard as it is to get through this if you want to successfully complete your Chapter 13. Learn to do without; if you have family/friends, learn to barter to get things done...toss your extra change in your pocket in a big jar at the end of the day and don't touch it - you will be surprised what you can save for extras or otherwise. People used to living with a credit card inches away to pay for something they did not have the cash for have the hardest time adjusting. They are used to getting things now and not learning either to do without or take several months to save for it. Many people just do not save or have saved in the past because they just can't or don't want to budget.

Get your entire financial situation down in black and white on the table. Once you do that and it stares you in the face, you will know how to proceed from there. It's difficult to do but that is the only way.

[Universal]

We have made 3 & 1/2 months of payments so far. It is a big adjustment but we are determined to get thru it. Way over half of my check is taken every 2 weeks. My husband lost his job in January. unemployment denied and not old enough quite yet to draw retirement. It would be a lot easier if we didn't have cell phone and internet fees, but we opted to keep those things. I wish we had changed out ways years ago to budget and not spend every dime, including spending with credit cards.
I was a little down yesterday about it all, then we watched a movie last night of 4 Jewish brothers who help hide and saved over 1000 Jews in the forest during WWII. Now, there were people who REALLY had nothing and lived thru it, in the woods, thru winter and summer. Those things help me to see that I have nothing to cry about.

[Flamingo]

We have made 3 & 1/2 months of payments so far. It is a big adjustment but we are determined to get thru it. Way over half of my check is taken every 2 weeks. My husband lost his job in January. unemployment denied and not old enough quite yet to draw retirement. It would be a lot easier if we didn't have cell phone and internet fees, but we opted to keep those things. I wish we had changed out ways years ago to budget and not spend every dime, including spending with credit cards.
I was a little down yesterday about it all, then we watched a movie last night of 4 Jewish brothers who help hide and saved over 1000 Jews in the forest during WWII. Now, there were people who REALLY had nothing and lived thru it, in the woods, thru winter and summer. Those things help me to see that I have nothing to cry about.

One has to learn to "count their blessings" when in BK...many people no matter how bad they think they have it, really don't know how good they have it...

[frustrated51]

I actually do a budget for each payday and then do an actual in the column next to it so I know what is happening. Once in a while I do say, "shouldn't have done that", but usually it is something I couldn't have anticipated or something that had to be done at that time which messed things ups. Life happens.

[KAKRN97]

I filed my CH 13 on 5/28. Had to make the first payment within 10 days of filing so on Fri 6/4 I mailed out my payment of $1353 to the Trustee. That left me with just under $150 to get me through the next two weeks. Gotta miss a cell phone payment and put off replacing my brakes on my 7 yr old vehicle with 123K miles. It just got an new tranny put into it so I'm hoping it'll last till I'm done with my Ch 13, which is supposed to be for 3 yrs. My 341 is 6/23. I'm hoping it will go smoothly, i.e.--no objections for creditor discharge, no conversion to 5 yr repayment plan(I qualify for 36 months per the attorney because I passed the means test but couldn't do Ch 7 because DH went back to work in April after being laid off for 15 months and could get laid off again). With my luck though, nothing EVER goes smoothly for me.

I'm trying to work out a budget..it's hard when a whole paycheck gets taken for a trustee payment. Utilities are also due by the end of the month as well. It's hard but I can do it...provided everything goes well at the 341 and with the Trustee.

[Universal]

I get paid twice a month and have 1/2 of the $1,240 taken from each check. I couldn't get it all from one check.

[KAKRN97]

I get paid twice a month and have 1/2 of the $1,240 taken from each check. I couldn't get it all from one check.

I can get it all out of one check but it leaves very little left over. SO my second paycheck in a month gets budgeted very carefully!! Need to start a savings plan since I have NONE! Gonna buy some groceries at Aldi's out of the next check.