Will you share your thoughts-new to the BK world

[Law50]

Merry Christmas to all and I can't tell you how grateful I am to have found this forum. We have not yet filed but have seen a multitude of attrnys and financial advisors in which to gather whatever foresight we can on our days that lie ahead... bk. I have been on the Dave Ramsey forum for days on end now. I have read and reread the journeys from people who sold everything but the kids in order to avoid a bk. I think we as a family are ready for the emotional impact of what we have been cautioned to expect if the decision is to file. I do not view this as an easy out but a place to start again. I would so appreciate hearing from the bk bloggers if you would be so generous with your stories of hope and your mechanisms to cope. Is this as confining as we are to believe? I am not referring to spending like a drunken sailor. We never lived beyond our means to start with, always had a tight budget and always paid the cc off each month. Medical bills and a job loss hit us within a 5 yr period and finally took it's toll. I understand we all have strengths and weaknesses. We will need to adjust to being accountable to others for what we now decide to do with our income. Please feel free to share your thoughts here. I want to hear the good, the bad, and the way out using the bk tool.

[BNKRPTinNC]

Our experience, so far, has been one of relief. We are thru our first year of 5 and can honestly say that it has been one of our better years financially. We had an attorney that set up a liveable 13 that was accepted by the court and trustee and allowed us the ability to finally start saving again. And you might be surprised as to what you may keep and what has to be given up.

Perhaps ours is not the norm but once the basics were in place we made additional lifestyle changes and scrutinized our spending to the point of being anal and have more spendable income (which we don't) than in the past 2 years prior to filing. Finding a good knowledgeable atty is the key, I think. Taking control of your spending is second. We have done without but not, if you know what I mean. We also approached this as an adventure/challenge that motivated us to peer hard at what was needed rather than wanted and looked at it as if this were the beginning rather than the end.

I wish you and yours a most excellant holiday and the best of luck in the coming months.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Dave Ramsey is not bk friendly. Giving everything up for valid reasons such as beyond your control is not a reasonable alternative. Things beyond your control are covered in the Bible, such as debt forgiveness every seven years. Our forefathers were Christian/Judeo, and even saw the reason to allow debt forgiveness and disallow debtors prison from Europe and the old ways. Think of all who are debtors in prison at this time. Would be very empty streets I'm afraid.

We intended on a 13 until my legal battles caused two job losses by way of an enemy. Then a medical problem after COBRA ran out. We had no choice but to go 7. Once we learned our way around and discovered our new life, we are calm and at peace, poor but happy, and are on a budget. Even our heath, both of us, has improved. Stress kills I've been told.

Bk is tough and stressful but oh so rewarding IF YOU LEARNED IT'S LESSON. For some, they will fall back into the old ways and fail. BK is only for ONE chance. (I know there are times when a second one is unavoidable, but it's rare). 'Hub

[Flamingo]

If you are filing a Chapter 13, after going through one and all the ups/downs associated therewith, the one important message I send to all going into a Chapter 13 is to learn to budget, budget, budget and then budget some more. You will be dealing with an entirely different lifestyle and will need to adjust to that lifestyle to make it. Those that can handle the adjustment make it; those that cannot learn to budget or change that former lifestyle can end up floundering and possibly risk dismissal. As mentioned previously, get a good BK attorney - ours came via a referral from a previous attorney boss of mine who is a long time family friend and the referred attorney was one of the top BK attorneys in our state and we found out why. Also save as much as possible during your plan years because there will always be something major that goes during that 3 to 5 year term...i.e., new tires needed, hot water heater blows, etc., etc. There will be no credit card to rely on.

Best of luck to you and enjoy the forum!

[Law50]

A BIG thank you to all. I see some of you are familiar with the opposing attitude(s) i.e. Dave Ramsey. I believe we as a family will get through this and life will return back to some state of normal soon. I can not express how grateful I am to have this forum to draw from. I was really beginning to ask myself if I was absent the moral fiber and integrity I work at imparting on my children as a result of opting for a bk. Self preservation is not a sin or something to feel shamed about.

[indebt00]

These boards are a great place to gain knowledge and be able to share in what you are going through with others...without being judged.

[klandsb]

I believe at one point Dave Ramsey may have filed bankruptcy himself... I might be getting him mixed up with another financial expert but I think it was him.
You have to make the choice for yourself and its not an easy choice for anyone.
It took me a long time to come to terms with what I had to do. I got exhausted trying to keep my head above water.. Living paycheck to paycheck & paying the creditors tons of interest with no end in sight. If i lived to be 90 yrs old and closed all my accounts they would never get paid off. I am just tired and want it over with. I am only a couple mths into my Chapter 13 and haven't been confirmed yet. The main thing is try and put a little aside (somewhere secret) before you file.. Just a couple hundred dollars. I think the first few mths are the hardest but that all the further I have gotten. Living on cash for the past 10 mths . By payday I am scraping together pennies for bread & milk. I am just thinking it will get better its just been a bad couple mths with home owners insurance, car insurance & taxes all due. I guess I should have planned my filing better.
Learn from my mistakes if u can. As I see it Faliure is not an Option for me. I have to tough it out. I feel blessed to have a decent job & look forward to being debt free ..

[PacificBlue]

Merry Christmas to you as well.

I have learned A LOT on this site. Some I had to read a couple of times and let it soak in. At first I didn't want to accept the advise or I didn't feel it pertained to my case. The stress turned into frustration, then to anger. We talked with 10 different lawyers. The key is to find a lawyer that will work for you. again.. FIND A LAWYER THAT WILL WORK FOR YOU. Ask questions, and then ask more. Don't take a passive reply from an attorney or one based on the first thought that comes to his mind. (did his/her reply make sense, if not ask them to restate their answer).

We thought the stress would stop once we talked with a lawyer. Wrong! It doubled each one we spoke with until we found the one we think is going to work for us. We do have an unusual case and it seemed most lawyers were not equipped to take it on.

Case loads may be a factor as well. If a lawyer is very, very busy they may not be able to give you 100% of what is due. I found out they ARE human. My regret on this site is I wish I had not posted anything until everything soaked in. I shoot from the hip and had stuck a foot in my mouth on a couple of posts.