Helping Mother

[wooisme]

Here's a question I never even considered....

I am in chapt 13 almost 36 months and have been paying trustee faithfully (thank goodness).

My mother called me up because she's having troubles making ends meet and to keep her in her home everyone is chipping in each month. I said, sure I can scrape that up so she can stay there, she's 69 going on 70.

Then I got to thinking...........am I allowed to do this? Am I allowed to help my mother with a gift of $200 every month....

thoughts, suggestions???

No, I don't want to call my lawyer

[HHM]

If you have the money left over; sure, you can do whatever you want. Just don't sacrifice your chapter 13.

[wooisme]

When you say don't sacrifice my chapter 13 your talking about me not taking the money I pay the trustee each month to pay her out of, right? To pay the trustee first then pay her what I can...correct

[Flamingo]

First, does your family know you are in Chapter 13? If so, they should know that you should not have to be relied upon to come up at this time with funds to help out your mother as paying out funds that you should be holding for yourself for emergency purposes will now go somewhere else and if things get tight for you, you may not be able to make your plan payments and risk dismissal. That is basically what HHM is stating. Debts or other agreements such as this after filing your Chapter 13 are your own responsibility. The problem comes in when the payments for those extra debts or, as in your case, "family agreements" cut into your funds maybe straining the money you have to pay your trustee. Has your income risen since filing? $200 a month extra is a lot of money and you would have to either cut some things way down. I've been in your position where we were asked toward the end of our Chapter 13 to contribute to a family wedding (stepson) and the family member knew we were in chapter 13. We declined citing why and when times were better and we were discharged, we would consider helping out but could not at that time. There were no hard issues or feelings.

Have all of you discussed possibly having your mother move in with one of you since you all know expenses will just increase as time goes on and your mother will age. If she is by herself, it might be to everyone's benefit, including her, to move in with one of you if she would consider that.

[HHM]

When you say don't sacrifice my chapter 13 your talking about me not taking the money I pay the trustee each month to pay her out of, right? To pay the trustee first then pay her what I can...correct

Correct. Your chapter 13 takes priority.

You won't be able to amend your chapter 13 plan to help your mother. As I said, if you have money left over after paying all your living expenses and the chapter 13 trustee, you can do whatever you want with it, but as Flamingo points, 9 times out of 10, it is probably a bad idea to give away your cushion.

[justbroke]

When you say don't sacrifice my chapter 13 your talking about me not taking the money I pay the trustee each month to pay her out of, right? To pay the trustee first then pay her what I can...correct

HHM was basically saying just that. But it goes beyond just "not" taking money that is destined for the Trustee. You could put yourself in a bad position by not maintaining your own personal "rainy day" fund.

For example... I just had $300 out of pocket for an air conditioner repair caused by my landscapers. That just ate up all my monthly contingency. So, now I have to hope nothing else happens this month! If I had given that $300 to my mother to help her... I'd be in real trouble. (Living in Florida with no air conditioning... is deadly.)

It is certainly a very tough place to be in when deciding between your own personal life, and that of a loved one. However, you can't help them if you are in dire straits yourself.