If I Could Turn Back The Clock

[Dealer36]

....I wouldn't be so stupid and believe that I could win my way out of debt by going to the casino and winning it all back (which is what got me here in the first place).

....I wouldn't spend so much time trying to devise a system knowing that no matter how much I win it's never enough anyway and that it all eventually goes back one way or another.

....I wouldn't obsess so much about money because times were pretty tough growing up (my Mom did great with 7 kids as a single mother). I have wasted so much time worrying about "having" that I have missed out on a lot.

....I probably never would have gotten into the casino business because all I seem to see are the "winners" and not the massive number of "losers" that I deal to. Not to mention that I am more bothered now knowing that intrinsically my job is NOT rewarding and the only thing that keeps we dealers in it is the good money. And now that I have practically half killed myself to pay my bills and keep a good credit score all to mess it up gambling....I find NO reward in the business. But I love my house and having food on the table so I will probably stay in it for a little while...heck, I don't know..I feel confused over all of this that I have done to myself in the last year..it's like a fog or something..I hope that someone out there can relate to me in this way.

I guess I can't turn back the clock, but I wish I could....we probably all do. All I can do now is thank God for his blessings and try to move forward..thanks for listening.

[HeatherB]

I guess I can't turn back the clock, but I wish I could....we probably all do. All I can do now is thank God for his blessings and try to move forward..thanks for listening.

Most of us have these "regrets". But I wonder, too, if I could go back in time and change all the things that would make my life "better" and not lead me down the road to where I am.... would I also not have a husband, my daughter, those experiences?? I get very sad sometimes. I blame my (now) husband for a lot of things. I get angry with him still. But what hurts the most is that I was so niave. Everything was rosy... perfect. And he shattered it with lies and deceit. I can not be too mad, though. My head warned me. Over and over. Without proof, though, my heart wouldn't listen. I was an enabler to his addiction.

But now, some 3 years later, I have that wonderful guy back. And now, a beautiful daughter to boot! I don't go to church, and don't pray as much as I should. Half the time I'm not sure if I even believe in God. But.... then again, I feel that He gave me my son in the most trying time of my life to give me a reason to keep living. Oh crap..... I'm gonna cry.

What I'm trying to say is this: You can't appreciate the sun without the rain. You can't appreciate what love is without felling pain. (hey, I'm rhyming). Without the bad time, do we really know what good times are???

[CATCHMEIFYOUCAN]

You can only move forward, look forward. Repair, rebuild. Start Fresh !

Best to all, Catchmeifyoucan

[chpxiii]

Look at Bankruptcy this way, since you are filing for a "fresh start" bankruptcy can be considered the reset button. Consider it a "do over." A reboot. etc. etc.

[doglover]

I LOVE what HeatherB wrote.

I understand about gambling and as long as you know that there is more LOSERS then winners then that might help the tempatation, it helps for me. It seems as soon as I filed and got a chance at a fresh start the less I want to gamble (my problem is lotto/tickets). I really hope you are able to file and get a chance at a fresh start. I wish you all the best and good luck to you. Keep us posted. Oh and what else helps me not buy lotto tickets is I think back on all the $ I blew totally wasted on trying to win and never did. It's easy to forget all the losses but I can remember exactly date and time when I did win a couple hundred. I think it's the devils' doing, really I do. I pray and it helps a lot too. Like I said before...... good luck hun.

[minime]

Best to everyone. I look at my bankruptcy as a wake up call. It came right before I hit rock bottom. It actually humbled me and made me realize it can happen to the best of us. Doesn't make us any worse than anyone else, just a crutch so you don't fall. I'm just glad I have you guys.

[Dealer36]

Thank you guys for all of your kind thoughts.

[Flamingo]

Looking Back and Changing

[QUOTE=Dealer36;121389]....I wouldn't be so stupid and believe that I could win my way out of debt by going to the casino and winning it all back (which is what got me here in the first place).
(Snip).

Your posting brought to mind a recent situation a very good friend of ours has with his mother and her addiction of going to the casino. They tried and cannot stop her; she is losing her life savings and over two years has lost $129,000. She is 84. She thinks the casino is her "friend" because they keep sending her free vouchers for food, trash trinkets and have also given her advice that "you can write the losses off your taxes." She is eventually going to lose everything and our friend and his brother have even checked with an attorney and there is nothing they can do as she is in sound mind and its her money. Gambling is an addiction and if one has an addictive genetic background can get caught up in it and not get out.

Please note this - look at the casinos; none look like your average development or local establishments. They are huge, glitzy and something has to keep them that way; it's your money that does it along with other gamblers. More lose than win. It all depends what you want in life and it appears you are starting to see that gambling will not give you what you want or need.

Gambling, like any other addiction, is hard to stop on one's own. Most have to hit rock bottom to stop. Before you lose more, focus on the 84 year old woman I mention above. What will she have in a few years or less?

Best of luck to you.[/COLOR]