Why Do Debtors Remain In the Very State They Filed After Discharge?

[justbroke]

JB, I recall you expressing a fondness for Colorado before, but I doubt you've spent as much time here as I've had to -11 years straight with no vacation, no get-a-way, no break ,just 365 days times 11+ years. Let me ask you this - would you be happy with that and would you be willing to stay the rest of your life in the same unending situation while others traveled, lived somewhere else where they felt physically better, pursued a career or hobbies and interests they loved and were satisfied with their lives?

I love to visit Colorado. Estes park, Boulder, Colorado City, and others are beautiful places to visit. My company wanted me to move there, but the cost of (similar) housing scared me to death. Besides, I moved to Florida to escape winter! So when I said that it's a nice place to visit, I forgot to add the but.

I would not want to live in a place that I don't like. Even for me, Boulder was nice but that was the first time I ever saw a Whole Foods. The first time that everyone, to me it seemed, were riding bikes. The first time that I ever heard of "free range chickens raised in a stress free environment" (they were tasty though). The first time I couldn't breath while just walking (LOL, that was walking near Longs Peak). The first time that I've ever seen a "snow fence" and it was at the airport. The first time I have ever seen gates, which could be closed, on the way to the airport.

Ahh, so many firsts.

My general feeling on this is that no one would ever live in a place that they do not like. I know its difficult for many to relocate and they are stuck where they are. I actually couldn't live in Colorado unless that was a second home. I don't like snow, I don't ski, and I don't do winter. LOL

[BxRcvor]

LOL, living in New Hamster we have the worst of both worlds (i.e. high housing costs and low income levels); the property values up here are driven by the Boston market 40 miles to our south, but "because New Hampshire", our state-wide median income is only $76,768. Not really optimal.

Heh Heh.... "New Hamster." I chuckle a little, knowing what those hamsters call the influx of people from the Bay State.... "Ma$$holes....." And I can say that, having spent most of my summers on Martha's Vineyard.

[Barbisi]

I love to visit Colorado. Estes park, Boulder, Colorado City, and others are beautiful places to visit. My company wanted me to move there, but the cost of (similar) housing scared me to death. Besides, I moved to Florida to escape winter! So when I said that it's a nice place to visit, I forgot to add the but.

I would not want to live in a place that I don't like. Even for me, Boulder was nice but that was the first time I ever saw a Whole Foods. The first time that everyone, to me it seemed, were riding bikes. The first time that I ever heard of "free range chickens raised in a stress free environment" (they were tasty though). The first time I couldn't breath while just walking (LOL, that was walking near Longs Peak). The first time that I've ever seen a "snow fence" and it was at the airport. The first time I have ever seen gates, which could be closed, on the way to the airport.

Ahh, so many firsts.

My general feeling on this is that no one would ever live in a place that they do not like. I know its difficult for many to relocate and they are stuck where they are. I actually couldn't live in Colorado unless that was a second home. I don't like snow, I don't ski, and I don't do winter. LOL

You are very shrewd and wise - I don't like snow (any more), can't ski (and don't want to either LOL!) and don't want to do winter (any more) and I miss sea level easy breathing. JB, you knew better than to move here - we didn't ,we were looking for a change of scenery and didn't know what a mess we were getting ourselves into , one with many years of reckoning ahead and financial ruin as the price.
I think if my husband had been willing to leave R. instead of waiting for them to lay him off (which they finally did in 2019), we probably would have not ever bought a house here in the first place! But then of course we would never have experienced the glory of BK13 LOL!
And of course those of you who are in your happy forever place and didn't have to move once your BK13 was done, count yourselves lucky that you planned your lives so well that you could fully relish your BK13 and are now enjoying your total freedom! You are set for life while we are looking ahead with apprehension : will we able to finish this BK13 in 2022? Can we sell our aging home and get out from under our onerous mortgage and lengthy solar panel lease? Can my husband find a high paying job where we want to relocate to? Can we afford to live there? What if we can't have adequate credit for travel and relocation purposes? What if I still can't do something satisfying and meaningful? What if my health doesn't improve and our medical costs don't lessen in the new place? And etc. etc. etc.! Our real nightmare may just be beginning once the trustee is no longer a constant part of our daily life. This is what worries me every day!

And yes, there were and still are many firsts here that are no longer charming and are just irritating and frustrating. If I really had to live here until I died, suicide wouldn't be a bad option, LOL !
While NH is a better place to live than Colorado, I have no wish to return there and don't regret leaving and Florida is just too relentlessly tropical, sunny and hot - I just wish we had never moved here!

[shipo]

It seems Shipo and BxRcvor may be lifetime New Englanders who never lived any where else - just an observation! While NH is a better place to live than Colorado, I have no wish to return there and don't regret leaving - I just wish we had never moved here!

LOLz, no, not even close. I was born and raised in Michigan, then moved to Southern California, joined the Marine Corps, lived in Virginia and back in Southern California until I got out, then got transferred to Georgia by my company. From there I got recruited for a job back to the Detroit area, then Chicago, then Silicone Valley, then back to Chicago, then Manhattan before meeting my wife. We ended up settling in Bergen County, New Jersey before my wife got transferred to the Boston area and saw us settle in New Hampshire. Along the way I've lived and worked on long-term contracts both around the country (Texas, North Carolina, Virginia, Colorado, Arizona, Washington State, and Oregon), and around the world (Taipei Taiwan, Stuttgart Germany, Saltillo Mexico, Auckland and Wellington New Zealand, and London England).

Not to be out done, before meeting, she'd lived and worked in California, Texas, Japan, Hong Kong, and Norway. We were talking about it the other day, we were both born with a bit of wanderlust, and living here in New Hampshire was A) the last place on earth we ever considered we'd live, and B) the place we've lived the longest in our lives. Go figure.

[Barbisi]

Shipo, I do apologize -I removed that section and rewrote most of the post.
You can't argue though that you never had to live 5 years of your BK13 where you didn't want to, which is exactly what has happened to me. And should you want to travel the world again (which I may never be allowed to do), nothing can stop you.
I speak three languages (which I know most people in the US consider worthless ) and I am somewhat bitter that I can't use the skills I acquired before BK13 totally derailed my current life and maybe my future.
Kudos to to your military service and the impressive lists of locales both you and your wife were able to live in and visit -you definitely have lived full life of adventure and now have so much to look forward -I only wish I could believe in a future where I will be able to travel, and live some where else!

[shipo]

No apology necessary Barbisi, I rather thought your comment was humorous and responded in kind.

As for my Chapter 13 living arrangement; well, kinda-sorta. Prior to filing we'd lived in nice homes for a couple of decades, and when the two businesses failed and I found out about the six figures of debt my (now former) business partner had run up in my name, we had to sell our house at a huge loss (we'd owned it for 11 years, invested $250,000 into it, and sold it for over $100,000 less than we'd paid for it before the upgrades); couple with that the financial stress caused my wife and I to separate, which in turn forced me to rent a very inexpensive apartment on a horse farm where part of my rent is offset by mucking out stalls and pitching (literally) a ton of horse poop per week. Has living here for going on 8 years been all bad? No. Has it allowed first me, and then "us" when my wife and I reconciled, to live inexpensively and save a ton of money since my Chapter 13 was Discharged last March? Yes. That said, we're now in our mid-60s and trust me, the early mornings and manual labor is wearing on us; if it wasn't for the fact my wife ended up unemployed due to the whole COVID thing, we'd have already moved.

As you might have gathered from my many posts here, I'm a "glass is half full" kind of guy; I have every confidence we, "we" as in my wife and I, you and your husband, and everybody else here on the BKForum, will be able to move past our bankruptcies to a much more fulfilling life, regardless of whether that means sitting on a beach somewhere sipping your favorite adult beverage for however many years remain to us, travelling the world, or just being at peace with our place in the world.

[Barbisi]

Thank you for understanding my post was just one of sarcastic frustration, since as jb pointed out on here, few people actually move more than once or twice in their lifetimes, let alone the scores of times, you ,your wife and my husband and I have moved/and or traveled!
And as you can plainly see by the desperate nature of my venting posts, I am a half-empty glass person who is always fretting about negative situations which I can not change, but need to accept as unpleasant reality. (I call this "settling and knuckling under" and "clapping for Colorado".)
I have read snippets of your pre-BK13 backstory before, but now I understand that you too, lost substantial money on a house you spent $$$$$ on and sold at a loss before BK13. The two business failures, the debt caused by the former business partner, your temporary separation from your wife, and the manual labor on the horse farm would have driven me irreversibly batty.
My husband and I do argue sometimes quite heatedly, but so far none of these verbal "battles" have resulted in separation and my chronic health conditions would likely prevent the kind of manual labor you are currently engaging in. I would credit your hardiness to your military service : you former soldiers have lots of tough grit and little can keep you down for long!