When husband and wife file but one does all the finances

[RuthCB]

I have this horrible thought that my husband will stick his foot in it at the 341 meeting. It will be some time before it happens but it is really making me worried.

In our 27 years of marriage, he hasn't opened a bill, paid a bill and has rarely written a check. He uses the debit card once a week at the grocery store.
He is paid weekly and hands the check to me. I make the deposits for him and I do deposits for my business. He just signs our tax returns and never even looks at them.

He is not completely in the dark because he knows my business has gone in the crapper, especially when I said "we can't afford a new car!"

What makes me worry is he said this when I told him that we needed to file bankruptcy: I have been telling you for 20 years that you were going bankrupt. LOL . I said, for heavens sakes don't ever say that!

So my question. Can one person do all of the talking except for the basic questions?

BTW- I dread doing the online counseling sessions. He doesn't have any idea what our house payments are or anything else. However, we are not going into BK because of frivolous spending or living above our means. It's all because my business tanked.

[adm]

We will be filing soon and I do ALL the finances; budgeting, paying bills, etc. I am filing separately (comm property state) as recommended by our atty, plus the student loans are mine (though not dischargeable & my spouse is unemployed)...anyhow, I guess I never thought they'd ask my spouse questions since I'm the filer although he'll be present. Regardless I will do all the talking unless he's specifically asked a question and he knows "less is more"- ie don't say more than you need to!!!

Good luck!

[RuthCB]

We will be filing soon and I do ALL the finances; budgeting, paying bills, etc. I am filing separately (comm property state) as recommended by our atty, plus the student loans are mine (though not dischargeable & my spouse is unemployed)...anyhow, I guess I never thought they'd ask my spouse questions since I'm the filer although he'll be present. Regardless I will do all the talking unless he's specifically asked a question and he knows "less is more"- ie don't say more than you need to!!!

Good luck!

Well, I told him we will need to talk to the lawyer before we go. I hope she gives him a talking to. In my state, there is a $7500 per car allowance per person, so in order to keep two cars, she suggested filing jointly. He is also a figurehead officer in the corporation.

[LadyInTheRed]

I read here about a married couple at a 341. The trustee asked which one would answer the questions and then only asked the other person at the end if he/she agreed with everything his/her spouse had said. I suggest you say to him before the 341, "since I am more familiar with our finances, why don't I do all the talking?" If the trustee does ask your husband anything other than basic info, he should just say, "I don't know, my wife handles all of our finances."

[SMinGA]

Similar situation here...

We did the online counseling by speaker phone. Hubby just kind of agreed whenever necessary, let me give the #s for income, expenses, etc. We also asked the counselor to let us know when she was done w/ him and I could finish on my own as he works nights and needed to get ready to go to work.

For the 341, its mostly answering basic questions and your attorney can go over the questions with you in advance. Mostly yes/no questions.

If you're filing jointly, then you'll both have to review the petition for accuracy before signing. Perhaps use that as a run through, to have your husband review the paperwork with you?

As to the car/exemption... Are you & your husband both on the vehicles or are the titles in your name only? If his name is on it, only 1/2 the value of each is yours. So whether you file alone and have 1/2 equity with 1 exemption or file jointly with full equity and 2 exemptions would make no difference. But if his name is not on the titles, then its a different story.

[RuthCB]

Similar situation here...

We did the online counseling by speaker phone. Hubby just kind of agreed whenever necessary, let me give the #s for income, expenses, etc. We also asked the counselor to let us know when she was done w/ him and I could finish on my own as he works nights and needed to get ready to go to work.

For the 341, its mostly answering basic questions and your attorney can go over the questions with you in advance. Mostly yes/no questions.

If you're filing jointly, then you'll both have to review the petition for accuracy before signing. Perhaps use that as a run through, to have your husband review the paperwork with you?

As to the car/exemption... Are you & your husband both on the vehicles or are the titles in your name only? If his name is on it, only 1/2 the value of each is yours. So whether you file alone and have 1/2 equity with 1 exemption or file jointly with full equity and 2 exemptions would make no difference. But if his name is not on the titles, then its a different story.

He is on the titles. The car situation is: we have three. The new one with the auto loan on it is actually our adult daughter's car. She has been paying most of the loan payments. We bought it for her while she was in college, but didn't have the credit to be able to purchase it on her own. She graduated just as the recession hit hard, so she is living with us at the moment. She is "underemployed" as the expression goes.
The other two autos are a junker worth $750.00 and a jeep worth about 4,000. I have strong trust in our lawyer, so if she says, "file jointly", that is what I'm going to do. If I email her with questions, she writes back promptly and is always very pleasant about it. From what I've learned here, she also knows her stuff.
Otherwise, Oklahoma has some pretty generous bankruptcy provisions.
For example the home is exempt no matter the value if it is on a lot less than an acre. I never thought I would be glad I live here..lol

[SMinGA]

Is the attorney aware of how the cars are titled?

[RuthCB]

Is the attorney aware of how the cars are titled?

I believe so, but I am just starting this and haven't sent her the papers.
The vehicles are of concern, but that is not the only reason he has to file with me. I looked at the OK law. It's $7500 per person for the vehicles.
Equity in the one not paid off is about $5000. The other two together would be close to $5000.

[blessed]

I'm in the same situation as far as controlling the finances. Our 341 is on Monday and we finished the debtor education this morning. I am trying to talk to him about the details but he really doesn't care. He trusts me to take care of everything, which is good and bad. (We did have to file and since I take care of the finances it looks like I got us to this point, Thank God he doesn't think that way.)

I really did have to explain how a bk even works because he's all, "we'll have loads of money left over after we stop paying the CCs!" Um, please don't say that. LOL

[RuthCB]

I'm in the same situation as far as controlling the finances. Our 341 is on Monday and we finished the debtor education this morning. I am trying to talk to him about the details but he really doesn't care. He trusts me to take care of everything, which is good and bad. (We did have to file and since I take care of the finances it looks like I got us to this point, Thank God he doesn't think that way.)

I really did have to explain how a bk even works because he's all, "we'll have loads of money left over after we stop paying the CCs!" Um, please don't say that. LOL

LOL I had to repeat to him what I read here.. "honey, filing bankruptcy is not a crime, it's a perfectly legal remedy for people in our situation."

[SMinGA]

Hubby tends to call me to see if there is 'money on the card' for the one bank account he has a debit card for. While I appreciate it, my common reaction is 'how much do you need?'. I guess I'm fearing the worst, wondering what project he has dreamed up. It is almost always something very basic. While he does not need permission to spend $2 here, $5 there I figure its better to stay in the habit of communicating than to get him in the habit of spending money without checking. (Since I am the one who knows where the money is, and how much...)

In the past he has asked to be involved, but that does not last long. He does not have the patience to deal with it, and really does not want to know. At one point, years ago, I was working 2 jobs and he was home with the kids. (Long story, but he had old judgments from joint auto loans w/ an ex, and to have a 2nd job income count in the mortgage application process I needed a 2 yr job history. So it was part of a long term plan...) Once they were pre-K and beyond, he went back to work. For a while he was really confused at the concept of getting a paycheck and NOT being 'allowed' to go spend all of it on toys.

I'm glad to report he has grown up alot in the past 5-10 years!