I think my story's way too long to stick in a post, so I'm blogging it here. Blog could prove a useful tool for me, too, over time, as I tend to like to keep things well-documented.

The very shortest version of how we came to be in this financial mess is poor judgment regarding when, who, and how to help our our children.

I incurred debt helping my own son move to OH from California because real estate costs less in OH and buying a home seemed approachable for he and his wife here. Ended up his credit was so bad that we used mine to get that house, causing me now to be in arrears on that house because they moved back to California when his work offered him a position there. They needed to make that move if the marriage was to survive, which it has. They have two very small children together and I just can't imagine my son as a weekend father, so I support the decision for them to move back, though I do think he could have handled the financial end of that better.

I also have a car loan in my name for the car he's driving. He makes the payments, though rarely on time.

It saddens me to have to say that I need to treat my son the same financially as I do his father. We need not to do money things together. Ever. So, for whatever good it may prove to do in the future, I've learned that painful lesson, albeit a bit late.

Meanwhile, DH's son called one Monday and said his step-dad had hit him with his fist. Ex parte order ensued, we got custody, and that child lived with us for 28 months ending on May 26, 2009. The child's mother, of course, paid zero child support during that time, and, in fact, paid for nothing other than the food the child ate while at her home on visitation. The child, meanwhile, stole whatever he could from us that might suit him, primarily cash and CDs. Despite it being more than clear that our household doesn't subscribe to a morality that includes lying, cheating and stealing as viable techniques to handle one's life, the child had even our attorney (who is quick to point out that 80% of kids are lying about where they want to live) convinced that he wanted to live with us. Not so, and he's gone now as a result of his desire to live with his mother. And we don't have to lock our stuff up anymore, either, which I can't say I miss.

In any case, that whole mess was legally expensive, of course. The child also came with needs unmet and debt was incurred behind dental bills, medical bills, etc. All of those things would be filed under the "deferred maintenance" heading--the child doesn't have anything special or chronic going on. Just needed to see a dentist for the first time, get the cavities filled. See an allergist and get allergy shots underway. See a dermatologist and get acne under control.

And, voila, we're in over our heads with massive CC debt and will be paying child support once it's assigned.

Both of our vehicles are paid for in full. I'm most concerned about DH's truck, which KBB seems to think is worth a fair bit more than we paid for it. We paid $4618 for it and it's a '99 Dodge 2500 truck with 100,000 some miles on it. DH loves that truck, rust holes notwithstanding, and I really want to see him keep it if there is any way possible to arrange for that. Vehicle exemption here is $3225.

My vehicle's a '93 Maxima and its value is not an issue.

We have a third vehicle that is not currently running and which I'd gladly give up to trustee. It's a '92 S-10, also fully paid for. I'm pretty sure we can make it run again, but it seems a better strategy just now to let it sit. It's been not running for about a year now. (We don't collect dead cars: DH fixed it but it would not run when he was done with reassembly. He's redisassembled and has an opinion as to what needs to be done to remedy it and I am confident that he's correct and it can be made to run again.)

The car with the loan in my name that my son is driving (in California) is a 2007 Altima and I intend to surrender it. Wells Fargo holds the loan and I'm sure they'll be able to pick up the vehicle in CA once it's time for them to do so.

The home with the loan in my name only I intend to surrender. It has only a 1st mortgage on it held by B of A (formerly Countrywide). Has PMI, though, and it seems to me B of A is not very interested in dealing as a result. I really, really would like to be shed of this property in BK.

We are living in a home that we can afford also with only a 1st mortgage held by B of A. No PMI as we made a 20% down on it when we bought it in 2005. Based on comps over the last year, I have to expect we're upside down a bit. But I really, really do not want to have to try to sell this home when we're ready to leave this state. It's a century home on 18 some acres and pretty well redefines the concept of deferred maintenance. I'd like to do a ride-through on this property.

I'm concerned about the tractor. We aren't farming, despite being on a farm property. Still, the lawn tractor doesn't do what the brush hog does, and there's about 13 acres that is maintained by way of brush hogging. I saw one post indicating a trustee won't have any interest in the lawn tractor. Amazing to me.

I'm concerned about my sewing machines, too. Many of them I'd be happy to let go as I am certain which four I want to keep. Unfortunately, one of those four is likely to have more value than exemptions here allow. A couple others also have more value than exemptions allow, but I don't mind letting those go. I was planning to sell them myself before coming to the point where I realized that we need to file a BK and no other way to cure our financial mess is going to serve. OTOH, I'm not sure how interested the average trustee is in used sewing machines. I have one toy machine with yard sale value (as in, I might could sell it for 5-15 on a good day). The other old machines are not rare and only one has a motor. They are all probably worth around $25 per, though the people-powered sewing machine culture tends to give them away if they are not collectible and mine are not.

Finally, though it has not been unpacked since we moved here, and could be a mildewed mess for all I know, I have an oil painting by an artist whose paintings sell for considerable money in a very narrow market. I'd really like to have sold it some years ago, but the gallery that handles the artist (now deceased, although his son still paints and sells for similar prices) is quick to point out to me that his paintings of the pacific coast are more valuable than the one that I have, which depicts the Mediterranean from Naples. I don't know what it's worth and I don't know how to find out, especially given the galleries who handle this artist are on the west coast (predictably enough) and they clearly are mostly interested in getting the painting from me at minimal cost to themselves.

We're definitely below median for the last six months. I start new employment on Monday and can only hope it doesn't drive us from a Chapter 7 to a Chapter 13. If I don't earn, we won't have a way to pay for heat this coming winter, and we also won't be able to pay the child support once it's assigned.

This is rambling enough, but will help me to condense down what I need to discuss with an attorney in consultation.