I feel like an idiot for not having discovered this forum earlier. I think it would have made my life a little easier.

I figured I'd write a little of my story here.

I'm Vic. I'm 31, I'm disabled. It tool a long time for me to discover, learn, and admit that I am disabled. Things seemed to go well, then fall apart, then go well again.

I filed for disability in June 2004, and was approved 6 months later.

Everyone I knew, encouraged me to "beat this" and "if you just work hard" and I listened! When they thought I was well enough to get a part-time job I did, when they thought it was ok to get an apartment I did, when they thought it was time to get a car i did. Go back to school, I did.

When I worked to suppliment my SSDi, this worked, when I was too sick to, it failed and debt racked up. Don't worry about it, my family said, you can beat this, you'll get well".

In a moment of clarity, in March, I realized that "they" were right, I can beat this, but their methods were totally wrong.

I left my large apartment in the right area, moved to a small apartment in MY right area, I fought and received food-stamps, I shop at food-markets, if i don't have, I don't use. I don't drive except to see my doctor.

And, I've managed to cut all essential services to my SSDI income of $1100 a month. After my basic expenses, I have $20 left over, and that hits savings, as much as possible!

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So now the creditors are calling, so now vauge threats are coming in, so now I look at my debt and see that, somehow I owe close to 87K - if you count student loans.
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I'm not sure what I am going to do with my life next, but it is clear, very clear, that I need to do so within my means!
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I'm not working now, but I do hope to, find another position that will work with my disabilities. I want to take the money I can possible earn and save, so I have some sort of savings, to prepare for the future.
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I've shown I can survive happily on $1100 a month, and I want to save to improve my life some, to have some saftey's in place!
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I just don't see a way of doing this, when, if ever, i can work again, with debt sitting the way it is. Creditors and Collection Agencies have a way of showing up and threatening action at any point, and demanding!

I can't move forward stuck in the past...

but no pro-bono lawyer would help, because there aren't any immediate gains, besides my peace of mind and future planning, so I have filed!